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Ironskipper

Ironskipper

Lv3

I am currently writing the novel, "The Extra's War."

2022-06-26 Se unióIndia
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110
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper2mth
    respondió a Royalmv

    Thank you very much for the comment, I'll make sure to upload it regularly!

    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper2mth
    respondió a Entrail_JI

    👍

    The idea ate at my mind as I continued forward. I had no choice but to move. Leon couldn't die... His death would mean that the likelihood of me getting exposed as a 'fraud' was almost guaranteed. 
    Advent of the Three Calamities
    Fantasía · Entrail_JI
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper2mth
    Comentado por

    Author, just a small suggestion, take this with a grain of salt, but I think Julien's reason here is a bit weak, as he is potentially sacrificing himself to save Leon to not look like a fraud, which seems a bit far-fetched.

    The idea ate at my mind as I continued forward. I had no choice but to move. Leon couldn't die... His death would mean that the likelihood of me getting exposed as a 'fraud' was almost guaranteed. 
    Advent of the Three Calamities
    Fantasía · Entrail_JI
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper2mth
    Comentado por

    I think you meant, 'reliving the moment.'

    Este párrafo ha sido eliminado.
    Advent of the Three Calamities
    Fantasía · Entrail_JI
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper3mth
    respondió a Entrail_JI

    👍, keep up the good work.

    Este párrafo ha sido eliminado.
    Advent of the Three Calamities
    Fantasía · Entrail_JI
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper3mth
    Comentado por

    Author, beware of modern slang in an old-fashioned fantasy, for example, the word, 'Ya'll,' doesn't seem to fit the context.

    Este párrafo ha sido eliminado.
    Advent of the Three Calamities
    Fantasía · Entrail_JI
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Vane's eyes during metamorphosis.

    Ch 3 Resilient Retreat (2)
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Metamorphosis.

    Ch 3 Resilient Retreat (2)
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Granar approaches Vane.

    Ch 3 Resilient Retreat (2)
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    The tree trunk is wider

    Ch 2 Resilient Retreat (1)
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Vane uses the system.

    Ch 1 Transmigration
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Vane spots the arrow.

    Ch 1 Transmigration
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    Vane is awakened.

    Ch 1 Transmigration
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    I urge the reader to comment on the chapter comments, rather than the paragraph comments, as my novel is subject to editing often.

    Ch 1 Transmigration
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    3, imagine it being reinforced with wooden planks and rusting sheet metal

    I saw a dark aggregate at the terminal—the door.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    2

    Every step forced me to think again, my steps weighed down.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    1

    The tunnel, layered with cobwebs and insects, emitted a putrid stench.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    6

    So he embraced it and collided with the terminal, permeating through the bright white glow.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    5

    One of the cracks was now widened by the entity; with his inky black arms, tearing open the holes in space, despite their resistance.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail
  • Ironskipper
    Ironskipper4mth
    Comentado por

    4

    The outline of the cracks was covered in a dense gradient of purple, blue, green, and red, and twinkling arose from beyond them.
    The Extra's War
    Fantasía · Ironskipper
    detail