tt_g
de lectura
3356
Leer libros
Makes my head hurt. Seems like this author has a tendency to over explain, which also causes a lot of repetitiveness. In the first chapter alone, there’s a mind reading ROB that keeps repeating the same things over and over. For example, some girl chose to reincarnate as Frieren, and the ROB a paragraph later goes “she’s the first person to choose a different race” like bruh we got that already you don’t have to say that again. Happens again when mc picks his class as well, the ROB goes “the outcast is a weak class but it’s good if they know how to use it” and the mc parrots that a paragraph later. Even if you don’t know how to show not tell, at least stop repeating what you told over and over again. Also please stop using italics. The more you bold or italicize something the less impact it has. There’s no need for the fancy stuff, it only makes it worse if you don’t know how to use it. If normal words are good enough for real authors, it’s probably good enough for you.
I’ll give you a piece of advice too. If you can’t handle the heat, go to Wattpad. Wattpad doesn’t have a review feature like Webnovel so I know for a fact that if Wattpad readers don’t like something, they’ll just drop it, no criticisms or anything. Wattpad’s system is entirely around user interaction so if they don’t like it, your fanfic will just drift to the bottom and you can keep writing to yourself like you wanted.
The whole “you can’t complain about free things” argument is stupid. The obvious counter-argument is why you’re posting something online if you can’t handle the backlash. I don’t think either side was wrong at first, because there’s nothing unacceptable with posting constructive criticism and there’s nothing unacceptable with arguing about the constructive criticism either since that’s how you learn and make improvements. What IS unacceptable, however, is making an entire chapter to oust the guy in front of all your readers. That does nothing except embarrass the guy and feed your over-inflated ego. This is embarrassingly immature.
No I’m saying her AI generated eyes look weird when you zoom in. It looks like her eyes are looking at different things
What happened to her eyes ;-;
Well if you don’t want someone to judge your work you could just not post it. You said you were writing this for fun after all. The comment about this reading like a crack fic was mostly a response to another review that said your grammar was good, which I disagree with. Secondly, I said nothing about your mc hiding his power. Rather, I’m saying your mc doesn’t demonstrate any traits of a 12th dimensional being thereby ruining your concept. I don’t think you understand the 12th dimension at all, since anything at the 12th dimension could probably destroy and rebuild the world with a subconscious thought while sleeping. It would’ve been understandable if you nerfed him but as of right now, your mc is literally just a flerken and that’s not what I’m here for.
Nice concept but it reads like a crack fic. Also the mc is generic af, basically ur average human in a 12th dimensional cat but I don’t think the author really knows what he’s talking about with his whole 12th dimensional thing so for now he’s just a cat with shadow powers. Average Dxd wishfulment fic so far.
The grammar sucks. The author uses like 2 commas per chapter, so over half of his sentences are run ons and there’s a weird use of exclamation marks. Also, it’s straight up boring so far. I would argue the mc has no personality except for wanting to survive. Half of every chapter is filled with author’s notes (also annoying), one at the top and and one at the bottom so there’s really not that much plot in 26 chapters.