Yeah she is too much irritating to the story .No need to add too much family drama .There are many in the industry already who cpuld be good antagonsit for brief time.I mean its his redemption story.If you are into that stuff be my guest man.

I hope there is pay off for this as its irritating whenever his Mom is involved and also don't drag this too much .i dont want to see MC still struggling eith his Mom at 1000th chapter.

i advisw you to stay on one symble . using - and " doesnot help. i suggest you Let the conversation hapoen in euther " or [ ] .It will help readers more . I could suggest different font style but that's too much work for me to even suggest and I am lazy

i am pretty sure Emiya is Male and It should be his not her

This Gave me Goosbumps but It would have given me more if it was not just Lord Camelot like you know expression felt wrong. That should be shout and in Bold Capts LORDDDDOOO. CAMELOTTOOOOO

I saw Author doesnot even correct some silly mistakes and obvious ones and not even reply so I didnot even bother to comment or write . I hate two types of authors .One like this and the other is one who just blabs and argues in comments and saying he doesnot care about people commenting but then gets angry and deletes reviews even if it was a detailed good review .

Larvitar +1 ( well I was dissapointed Ralts was not here <Male Ralts> not for ecchi but Gallade is cool

It is going very good .I will be honest with you .i would have given 5 stars but I think its too early.

I would say Type Specualist and please let this be anime or game mix but mostly anime as Lets forget about Mabga .Please also don't make the MC emo and be cold to his new parents.Other things Type specialist is good . There are many generalist fics and also many type specialist fics but please no aura or psychic as I am tired of same trope.I have not seen many Water specialist fiction like there are lots of options and lets make MC have like Water power? If you want like (Percy Jackdon i.e) .He can bond with then easily and his pokemon's water move do more damage like that its upto you .Or Do an electric type specialist like we donot have any Champion or Elite four with that specialist . Bug is good like Mega Beedrill with Giivani lol!. Not Dragon as it feels like clichè I suggest choosing between Water/Electric He can go dark Type but That could be problem in Kanto. Also specify which timeline he is in

The MC is too much stupid and too doo gooder .Yes author qill say who cares and dada but when a 2 year old does this nonsense I don't know which world ypu are in it will be difficult .He doesnot have anything to protect himself and he is 2 years old .He is just putting Target in his back .Yes warning parents is fine.He cpuld go other way like he had seen nightnares of them dying in poison like that .I Find it very ridiculous that if he is from modern world and Watched Naruto many times that still he dows this and the fuck is whitebeard route .He is just acting like adult . Author will bash me , I know this kind of authors .so I don't care . A fanfic is fanfic but atleast make it believable in sense of even Anime wold. Sakumo comming to Kill .what nonsense.An anbu cannot stop Sakumo. He is not Naive he is oversmart .A two year old cant fo anything he says even in Naruto world .

And we Have Deneeys Pendragon. I was expecting the sword name to Be Exx---cal--baaahhhhhhhh

Well I type fast and didnot re-read it as I felt I have written too long

Temari , Karin and Kurotsuchi 🤣 Hey no need to do a love story fully .Lot of people go Tsuande and stuff.I was thinking why not putside leaf? Samui a Good choice . Well Or older ones like Yugao or Kurenai if you want Not fan of kurenai sasuke too much . Even girls from Fillers can be added . 🤣Temari and Karin is good choice and do Ino from Konoha if you want .

I just want to ask the Author .Do you make Kudhina End up with Minato ? Still with the seal? .I also is he not buttler than maid? .The other thing is even this is Naruto world why is a four year old doing chores and stuff like? Even when Mito takes him? I liked the other version but there are somethings that made me feel "hmmm thats starnge yeah no " .I mean I still enjoyed it as much as I can . And I hope you change somethings if you are rewriting Also the chakra thing.Please research I mean you can retort saying its just a fanfic but 1000 for Jubi then 750 is way to much .You should know what Jubi as pointed out . Even Hashirama And Madar donot have that much .You should check some Naruto facts .Many things are inaccurate . I would review after more chapters as It still can go from very great start to massive dissapointment .

This really is nonsense I mean we donot even know who MC is and even where he is accept North and What year it is .And top of that the Starks are here asking his preswence? IT feels like Chat GPt .The interactions are robotic and why would Starks entrust him to Built fortress or anything? Who is he? IT feelks like it is. A gameplay walkthrough and also the system is bland.He doesnot dewcribe his system too much and doesnot explore .We know nothing .We are Jon Snow . The system gives him wood after he built lumber camp? I am not understanding it .Uf he gets rewarde aftwr doing things then what will he do .Beat lannistwr army and he can get Army himself ? If this is Kinhdom Building system then it is not goor system whatwver age of Empire is .He needs resources and he geta resources aftwr he do things like He needs tp build a Mill.He gets resources aftwr he builds a Mill .Wow And the Author is only replyong to people who comment nice thinks and do3snot even explain anything. I can get if its many comments but bruh got one and he is like speechlese? I think this is chat GPt . We donot even have information on his village people .

It is a decent start .I am just little picky person so I do have problems here lile in first chapter we don't know what he is lord of and where he is accept the North and it feels little too fast paced . It would be better if you explain qhere he is in detail and also about his systsm and what timeline he is in. ( may be in auxillary chapters) but It will be better as just diving in head straight doesnot make me feel right .Though it is still behinning and I know that you will improve so not too harsh from me .

I am smoking webnovel and suffering from MTL hatism why ?

The stpry is good but I will be honest It feels like too much in one fanfic .You should have stayed within Marvel and do Emtertaient system there .Marbel itself is vwry big and make it Marvel Multiverse.I get ypu are a fan but mixing everything in one is not good .If you wamt to write a fanfic of Him traveling to the franchises then do another famfic where he travels to the franchises or just make famfic of his franchises while involving him like spinoff . You are introfucing too many things in one story that will only result in it being a catastrophie .The Entertainment part is like a footnote here as it gets never mentioned only how many IPS he got not even public reaction and leading to it ..and also with DC comics and all I mean his father works there and he didnot publish there .Shouldnot there be anything ? Like company pressuring or having Problems with Marc? . And Making a 10 year old write this much is insane .He is not robot .Make it more believable . Also Desvribe the full timeline amd his family bavkground fully well. There are lot of mess . If ypu improve I may remove this review but I am dissapointed the way its going. Do Better. Nothing is detailed and ypu again upgrade a system ? We havent even seen full capabilities and work of system . This is not emtertainemnt system its misleading .. It only shows IP collections nothing else .

I only have problem with Inbolving Blair witch project .I mean if You did Paranormal Activity it would have been better.The mpment you talk about Blair witch my mind immediately goes to chineese authors in Hollywood Fics using Blair witch.If you watched it you will know that there is nothing special in that your MC may even have Negative fans so I was little cringed out

?? Are you reading your own replies? I sas? What'ts the reply suppose to mean?. I said you didnot even bother to change minor mistakes and just copy pasted it . Did you not see that you pasted Tian Tian instead of Ten Ten , Xao Li instead of Rock lee? Or do you not understand what I said ? What you mean No thank you ? What foolish peaople these days.