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The narrative power is great! The story has a decent pace to enjoy, but not very impactful to hook if using web novel as it is media. It would be better if it being published as a book.
Your narrative is so good, I can clearly see the picture here.
Sorry for shameless author review here. Hope you like the story and character I make, and this will be the first story that I mainly focused to write in this PF. Also, please show your support if you like it, hope you're well. ^^