AzureFluteFan2

So for trainer Joey to legally keep a f***ing ratata, his family has to pay 200 bands a year? Or am I misunderstanding this?

I think it’d be smart to do regular exeggutor. It has high psychic potential, so getting rid of it’s secondary typing for one it’s never interacted with before doesn’t seem like a great idea.

I’m looking forward with how you intend to experiment with this series. I think the idea of the fanfic itself is pretty solid. Just that the way it’s written needs a little work.

I don’t even think it’s a POV thing. An example. A good amount of the interactions between trainers are usually like: I told them X and then we Y. Afterwards, they said Z and we parted ways. Or something similar to that. Instead of actually knowing what they said, I’m just being told that there is dialogue. You don’t have to always explicitly write down what everyone is saying, but I feel like if it’s from the perspective of the main character, we should probably be seeing what the main character is saying.

It’s overall pretty alright. Something that I don’t like though is that it seems to be doing a whole lot of telling and not a whole lot of showing. I know it doesn’t always have to be that way, but majority of the story is ‘I said this to them’ or ‘I told my Pokémon to use X move’ but sometimes there just isn’t any dialogue showing this. Of course, I’m not demanding the author goes into meticulous detail regarding every interaction, but when majority of person-to-person interaction starts with dialogue then transitions to ‘I told them this’ or ‘this character told me this’ it sort of makes the interaction feel disconnected and uninteresting. The journey so far also seems a tad repetitive for the most part, with very few interpersonal interactions and relationships between the MC and the Pokemon. Or at least it feels like there isn’t many that are shown outside of when it becomes relevant in battles.

Royal ludroth isn’t really a subspecies and more of a leader of a group of ludroth

It’s been pretty obvious for a while now, my friend

Astera?

If I’m correct, he’s in a desert which can get REALLY goddamn cold at night.