Demonwolf07

it's been a while since I have read a well translated but full cringe fic.

what a great advice you have given !

respect is not suddenly given just because a 6 year old brat passed a race and wasn't even in the 1st place.

really,you say "I'm the strongest"atleast once a chapter

yeah, he is speaking as if he did anything of his own, The story is the same as the original just the character changed.

at least let him finish his milkshake.

I know this is a fanfic and I understand your culture is diff. but in many countries for family, we do the best we can. even we have to do everything. especially for some underage girls who lost both their parents and are neices. of course we also educate them what is right.

Great work. I like it. If you work on some things,it will be great. Grammar and pacing is great. But dialogue delivery and story could use some work. also, use (' ) for thinking and (") for speaking. it is confusing sometimes. write in small paragraphs while describing something. and when talking, use one dialogue in one line. Don't make another chapter with the same content only with diff. pov just to show what the other person was thinking.(like with Megumi meeting yuta,only things diff. in that chapter was him thinking that yuta is not arrogant.) write conversation between characters just as you talk with people. Don't over explain just for readers. Him forgetting rikka and no one told him, the explanation was not good.(doctor saying to parents to not tell him). at least you should have acknowledge her properly. your reaction to higher-ups arrogance was good. It shows that mc is diff. from other fanfic mc. it was a mature reaction. no need to make enemies without any reason. yuta has family. Interaction between characters is little bit plain. not much but just a little. Btw you did a great a great job. thankyou for your hardwork.

why is it that every time I want to read a fanfic of female mc (as there are not many), the mc always gets everything at the start, and doesn't have to do anything. like they get everything,like daughter of someone rich, every skill.

what special treatment?? even a cleaner could tell you room number.