Want_A_Martini

Oh, so I should've gone into more detail on what exactly the difference between normal sight and how he sees with mana is?

I *see*, thanks for the criticism man, I really appreciate it. I can see a lot of that definitely being true, since I decided to switch to the real life powers and military stuff on a whim and just happened to have had lines setting it up earlier. The only thing I'd hard disagree on is me needing to restate he's using mana to see during his first mission. I'd just spent the last 20 chapters specifying that lol everytime he sees something. To the point where I actually thought it was annoyingly redundant while rereading. Thanks for your honesty though, I love all the other folks reading here but they aren't the critical type, always nice getting blunt feedback.

If you don't mind, could I get more elaboration on when "toward the end" was and how exactly my writing was starting to falter? I'm always trying to improve!

Oh my bad, I meant the story as a whole, at least up to the end of Volume 1. This was my first time writing something long-ish.

I appreciate it man, aside from the fact I gave up and only gave an outline of the ending, what did you think of it?

I mean, I half finished the ending 🥲 I'm just arguing with for the sake of arguing though, I agree with your criticism tbh

Thanks for coming back for my pseudo ending. We had some good times together eh 🥲

I get that, but the I've made it clear people don't even know what the class does, the only info I've said they've gotten is it's a high cost low damage build. They're frequently surprised Kane is teleporting. We only see Kane hang out for about a week in the game with maybe 4 characters. I do agree that my explanation is a bit weak though, its always bugged me that I couldn't find a better to justify it, but in the end it doesn't effect any payoffs so meh

The idea is more that not enough time has passed for people to realize it's good, the class is advertised as high cost limited attack, which would be bad early game. The very first players on Skyrim didn't immediately go for stealth arching :P

I've put out 5 chapters covering the direction I planned to go in and the series ending, hope you'll enjoy!