Joe_Daniels
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How the MC reacted to the whole situation seems a bit off to me. First his fighting style relies on surprise and unexpected attacks. Why would he jump in front of the kidnapper to yell “unhand milady” instead of going for a sneak attack? Granted, the kidnapper would’ve already known he’s coming but he didn’t know that and this his reaction should’ve defaulted to his fighting style. Also, the reveals that the sword saint was spewing was way to obvious makes the plot feels forced. For hired professionals, he’s way too talkative. If he maybe say a hint or two due to how surprisingly difficult it was to kill MC, then it would’ve given a better effect than him pretty much revealing the entire plan aside from saying who the inside man was. This scene as a whole truly fell short of recent chapters. However I really like the direction author is taking with this story.
MC falling for this trap is way too forced. I know author wants to give a reason for MC to struggle but this is just to obvious of a forced plot. It’s understandable that the MC fell for a trap the first few times but using the same plot to give MC struggles over and over again gives the reader the feeling that the MC got an IQ nerf. Not to mention giving MC the mind reading ability coupled with Sabertooths senses and tracking skills, MC never should’ve been in the situation to begin with. Especially when MC already suspected something was wrong when he got the assignment. You can only blame stupidity on overconfidence a few times before it gets old.
Lol, guys sneaks attacked MC, gave him an evil sneer, explained his plan, then throws him off a cliff. MC proceeds to think the guy made a mistake and a might have attacked him by accident. At this point MC only “doubts” that the guy might be evil….😞 how stupid can a person get? Not to mention going into a daze checking out a girl as you are about to fall to your death from a cliff.
Story has potential and author’s grammar is very readable. However Author has a tendency to flip flop with the direction of the plot. He seems to be unsure about the MC’s personality, his powers, and the direction of the story as a whole. Seems like very little planning was done and the flip flopping was author’s attempts at correcting his mistakes.
MC has OP ability which could cause him to be kidnapped and exploited proceed to use it in front of his enemies, then just lets them go. Then sits down in the middle of a road and uses it again. Then gets surprised when he is seen. This is one of the dumbest MC I’ve read about thus far.
Interesting take on Xavier, but you need to give more background on him and why he became so. Him just showing up and is already like this is a bit jarring. Especially with a already known character, people have an image of him in their mind as someone good. Also you should show his vileness through more dialogue and actions instead of just “telling” us what he did. These few chapters feels like you are planning a story instead of writing one.
Ah, took me a few read through a to get it. Thanks for pointing it out.
He laid in bed the night before thinking it’s not so bad being in marvel just to freak out the next day about being in marvel? Did he hit his head and get amnesia in between or something?