Verti_Falabrella

Remember, try to use the past tense. Everyone was (past) busy eating food but I felt (past) strange the entire time. Something I shouldn't (past) remember.

Rip bro.

When mc's start moving immediately after they think the danger is over smhhh

No worries. And I do have to that the mc needs to first go on self-discovery too. She needs to love herself before she enters a new relationship. She needs to reflect on her old toxic relationship and cast it aside.

irony haha, you just described this place.

Alright, I'll reread it tomorrow and annotate suggestions. I'm extremely tired today.

Tense

I really like puppos, the type of people who are nice and genuine and charming. But I really like the people who stand up for themselves, who are headstrong, but still kind. I think it would be a great quality for your female lead to have is for her to stand up for herself. That she doesn't rely on the ml because that happens way too often in novels like this!

On one hand, I think the subject is interesting. On the other, I really think there needs to be a lot of work on your writing skills. The opening of the book felt very much like a monologue to a straight to DVD sequel movie. I think you would benefit from reading other authors and seeing a bit of how they describe and how they transition. I know this might seem harsh, but if you had good writing, this story would be improved by leaps and bounds.

What's with the updates? Anyways, if you're actually a chemical engineer, that would be pretty cool. I personally think you need to work on your writing a lot. There needs to be some more work on your novel for me to enjoy it. Good luck!