UndeadAfterParty

I’ll try and make future chapters longer. I was on a time crunch making the first chapter, everyone knows the first chapter is the hardest.

Shameless author review, I’m a new writer and the majority of this was written while I was smoking in my bathroom so any advice on how to improve it or mabye make the pacing feel better. It would be most appreciated. Cuz I’m making this shit up as we go. It will improve over time >.< don’t hate me too much💋

That’s what I pictured when he said dirty mattress

Are his morals changing over time or is he going to use the “it’s for the greater good” excuse Every now and then. This is just constructive criticism btw so no offense I’m just curious? Because the scene where the kid dies while they are escaping really raises some questions

It’s a good read for 300 chapters but it feels bland, he never has any time to take a step back and improve himself or his abilities. He is constantly in conflict, he gets attacked and thrown into the next major engagement the night after he escapes the big villain in the beginning. And he always feels just weak enough not to be able to do anything to what’s chasing him but strong enough to fight the big bad guy sends after him. He’s and interesting character(kinda) different, but he switches back-and-forth on his moral compass quite a bit. one minute talking about an inacting judgment on evil people and the next he will blow up a child infront of it’s mother. And he doesn’t really make connections with characters because they unfortunately all die shortly after meeting him. And the chapters are quite short and surprisingly repetitive at times because it has some pretty bad pacing(5-6 chapters to beat 1 person)

She does and it’s totally bullshit

:(

Thx 3 thousand 🫶