Undergrad student trying to resurrect his old story.
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The plot is very very grippy and I enjoyed most of it. I would also advise you to run a grammar check before publishing it and that would just add to the look of it. I love how you designed your world and the detail in some aspects is almost like it's in front of us. Overall, solid job! 👍🏼
The plot of this story is AMAZING! It kinda changed my prejudice on these types of genres. The writing quality is crisp and smooth and so is the world background. The characters are as if inspired from real people and their attitudes and behaviours come 'alive'. Overall, solid job!
A smooth writing that is effortless to read through. A plot which is kinda exciting. The quality is very good and the characters have come alive. I really enjoyed reading it. Solid job and good luck!
Loved the content. A really good plot with a good proceeding. A suggestion I would give you would be to check for minute grammar misuses using any website or applications. Overall, solid job!
Have you even read it fully? Now, you're in no position to actually criticize his work. People have enjoyed it. Me included.
This is probably the highest score that I've given to anyone. Like honestly, you deserve it. I'm starting to like the first person genres now that I've read yours. It almost makes me feel as if I'm reading Percy Jackson once again. Ahh... nostalgia hit me hard. Your writing has a kind of smooth flow to it, which I'm jealous about (you should teach me how to pull those off). The character design is awesome. And since we've come to characters, I must admit, the front cover looks sick! And you've given the details in an apt manner, or so to say, not too much nor not too little. I think this balance enhances your plot more. If I have to relate to your book, I would say, Sword art online written by Rick Riordan. Overall, I really enjoyed reading most of the chapters. Good luck!
First of all, I am a bit tentative when it comes to plots like these. Especially those which are in first person narration. But what's interesting is how you have intricately managed to have a consistent and a smooth proceeding of the plot. The world background in your story is great because it is balanced and descriptive at the same time. Overall, solid job! Good luck!
Amazing book! The plot is very grippy and doesn't let you leave it incomplete. I kinda enjoyed it a lot and the characters are designed so that they're very relatable. The dialogue delivery is really good and you can almost 'feel' the person delivering the dialogue in front of you. Description is like a double-edged sword. Everyone yields it. You use it too much, you damage your story and same for providing too little of it. I guess you have kept the descriptions simple and elegant and I didn't find a moment where I had to read-through the paragraph again to find out what you were actually describing. Overall, solid job!
You have a gripping plot. I am not that interested in fantasy but I had some exceptions and yours gets in the list. The dialogue delivery that persists throughout the story is simple and yet being its main objective - to convey what the character is trying to say. I think you have succeeded in having eyes- friendly (Yeah I just made that up XD) dialogue structures. I also observe that you haven’t extensively given attention to detail that would otherwise spoil the story if you had mishandled it. I think simplicity of detail really suits your story. It’s just what I feel... if you wish to be the descriptive JRR Tolkien, then I have no objections. It’s your story after all. I think you have also taken care of grammar and stuff and I really appreciate you using different dialogue tags (it kinda kept me active during the reading and again it comes to simplicity in descriptiveness) Overall, very nicely written!
You have a very very interesting and a progressive plot. When I was reading, there wasn’t this single moment when I felt detached from the plot and didn’t understand anything. The pace is just right and you also numbered your chapters appropriately so that it matches with the web novel’s (something that I look out for). Overall, a good try! You can always try to refine your work and get better at whatever you’re planning to write.