de lectura
7842
Leer libros
It's really sad to read this chapter, everything's natural, yeah right about now, no.
This started as a somehow enjoyable super star tycoon type of novel, a guy who sang and become famous, but right about now there's IA's, interdimentional beings, missiles hitting houses and a bunch of non connecting things forced to be connected. So the first hundred ish chapters are 7/10 Right now it's just a crack fic 2/10
Wait how's he going to take a dump???
I guess I'll start with the writing quality, there are mistakes in the grammar and structure of each chapters, things like: "hello",someone said."but that's Okey"i replied. This might seem like small things but when reading it's really uncomfortable. Then let's talk about the development of the story, it started like any other modern family fanfiction, a guy dies, got some cheats and transmigrates to the world, all right. That is until the guy for some reason falls for Alex Dumphy and the novel becomes something you would read in wattpad. "Baby girl" "Sweetheart" "Darling" And descriptions of scenes so cringe that it hurts to read. At least in the last chapter (at today updates) the author seems to understand that in 2 weeks of knowing someone it is not plausible to have this kind of relationship with anyone, doesn't matter how "hot and bad boy" the MC is. This bring me to the final point, the MC: Remember what I said about "a guy dying"? well the MC was a well achieved scientist that choose a new "path" after regretting wasting his life with just science, so while dead he has the option to just pick what he wants to be after transmigration, so he now wants to be an artist... And that's about it, we really don't know anything else about the MC, I mean we know he fancies Alex, and his parents are usually away, but that would be it. Overall. Is it a read you can do? Yeah I guess if you're into cringe "romance" novels. Would I recommend it? No as first pick, there are definitely better reads out there with the same premise, but if you have read all that and you're looking for something similar, this is kind of like that.
I haven't read the rest of chapters but here repeatedly you've committed a small but noticeable mistake, you keep switching between narrators. Choose one and use it always, if it's firs person or if it's a omniscient narrator. Haru didn't do that (Omniscient narration) I (haru) didn't do that (first person narration)
Huge chapter!
Don't you dare toy with my feelings.
Hey man I love you and I love this story a lot, I don't know if you've noticed that even when you didn't publish anything you got 200 power stones which is crazy, now just imagine what would happen if you publish every day... I know you have a life, but just imagine top 3 all time power stone every week easily.
Please don't write in screenplay format, that only kills the immersivity of your novel. Screenplay format (nono) A: Hello! B: Bye Prose (most immersive) "Hello" said A whit a wide smile.
So shit points in status but he's somehow able to kick someone (who's approaching him) hard enough to send him flying? Yeah no.