Jorgen's* not Crocker's.

...why she* never had... ...interest in Amy when she* met...

...to being around her*, to asking her* questions... ...wanted most was to hear her* talk about... ...that fascinated her*...

This sentence needs to change the 'he' in 'she'.

This entire paragraph needs to be redone with S/she* instead of H/he.

she*

Vegeta*

'She* said...' '...she* wants to...'

"...a stroke."*

This is something that just felt off but you should put - at the end of skin just to have it look 'completed'. Great chapter though!

You need to rework this entire paragraph to have female pronouns.

I haven't read this so I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. I was wondering if the main character turns into a supernatural creature or not.

Could Samus go to DxD and become a Devil? Or can she go to Fairy Tail and get a dragon lacrima implanted in here to give her Dragon Slayer Magic.

right*

OD*

...an* outpost...

"*Can I..."

"*Imagine that..."

her*

Knight*