xHelios

Yeah this is becoming forced plot, I agree

Too much politics, keep that at the minimum.

This chapter wasnt it ngl, nothing important happened and could’ve easily been skipped over. Just monologues and self conversation.

Pretty sure it’s a reference to the last ninja war of naruto. Reanimated tobirama and hashirama.

Wasn’t that a filler movie?

Don’t worry, it’s fine because it’s just twilight

Ah yes, Chinese be chinesing

This is actually pretty good, but make sure this isn’t just a canon rehash. Your MC is an apprentice to Dooku, that carries weight. Show the differences, the new paths.

Yeah this is prolly gonna be a canon rehash with minor differences tbh.

Good so far, but try not to write the mc always talking out loud to himself, just have him think instead. And use different quotations for that as well.