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The translation itself is good, there are no issues with grammar that I noticed while reading it. The story itself is also entertaining to read and portrays characters or people from 40k pretty good. The chapter lengths are also good, overall nothing to complain about. Keep up the good work Translator!!!!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
This really made me chuckle quite a few times, honestly this is peak writing. There is nothing to complain about at all, keep up the good work Author!!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
I liked this a lot surprisingly, there is genuinely nothing to complain about in the story so far. Keep up the good work Author!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
Pretty decent, grammar is good and chapter length is also good. The portrayal of Price is also pretty good and it doesn’t feel out of character. I can’t wait to read more chapters, keep up the good work Author!!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
This is a good concept and so far everything is moving in a good direction. Keep up the good work Author!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
The first couple of chapters are a bit rough to read, they have no breaks between paragraphs and there is little to no punctuation, but all this is mostly fixed in later chapters. As far as grammar goes, there are a few mistakes here and there, like sentences missing “and” or things being spelled wrong. For the most part it does not take away from the reading experience and you can still understand what is being said. I like the overall concept of the story and I will continue to read more chapters as they come out. Keep up the good work Author!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
As far as Warhammer 40k fanfics go this one feels like the most accurate representation of space marines that I’ve read. The story is progressing nicely so far and in a direction that makes sense. The grammar is good and the chapters are a nice length. Definitely a solid 4.8 out of 5 stars. Keep up the good work Author!!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
What you could do to help develop a character is think of a character as a friend. You can try to imagine the different ways this friend might respond to questions or problems and then try to come up with a response based off of that. You can also do one offs or short stories with a character to use as a reference when your writing for this story. This all takes more time out of your day but I think it will help with the overall writing process 👍
The premise of the story is interesting and there aren’t issues with the grammar or spelling. But the one thing that hits you the more you read is the author writing the same thing over and over again. A couple of chapters felt like they were the same thing worded slightly different, and the same words are used as descriptions by multiple characters like “wild card” or the mc saying he doesn’t care let them come or something along those lines. It gets repetitive and is not nice to read because instead of feeling like a pov from multiple characters, it feels like the same person saying the same thing. Some of the characters feel like the same character because they use the same words even though they are supposed to be different. If this is improved the story can be pretty good, keep up the good work Author!!!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………
The mf is overpowered from the beginning but I don’t really mind that. As far as the plot goes it kind of follows the show with variations, but either way I haven’t seen many 100 fanfics so I ain’t mad about that. If you don’t mind either of those two things the story itself has decently long chapters and good grammar. Keep up the good work Author!!!! ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………