Blue_J_Writes
oh, wouldn't you like to know more about me? How cute.
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I know I keep yapping on these chapters with my comments. But you're doing a good job. I'll try to turn down my yapping lol.
Oof lol
Maybe instead of having this here show us this later on or something. Just a thought.
Ah I see. Kinda would’ve liked to see a moment where the personality change happened. But that might affect pacing negatively, so I don’t really know.
Do we find out how so? Like we get a glimpse at the level of close they used to be. But how did they grow apart?
Good details here.
Redded eyes? Like on the verge of crying?
I’ve seen some comments on pacing for the first chapter. I can see what they’re saying but it’s not much of an issue to it. As long as you stay consistent to it and it has something in chapter two to kick things up a gear (I’ll read chapter 2 soon).
I mean I’ve only seen this type of dialogue turn into something sus. But I’m trusting the process.
Heads up you called both beast types here special grades.
A little surprising.
Kinda funny lol
Little clunky and unbelievable but I don’t believe it matters much.
I almost want this character description before her dialogue.
Sadly it comes out a little creepy. Might be because of the wording on the descriptive depth of it. If it’s a reoccurring joke for the two test some things so it doesn’t come across as weird/creepy.
Is he audibly saying sigh? Also sus older brother????
Common little sister dialogue.
You deny your MC privileges it’s purpose. lol
something to leave up to the imagination lol