JellyFlayvr

I was intrigued from the very first page. There's suspense and shocking twists at every turn. The characters came to life with their vibrant personalities and engaging dialogue. There are some typos and grammatical errors, but despite that I'm really enjoying the story. Can't wait to continue reading :)

I'm really enjoying the story so far. The pacing is great, I thought at first given the revelation at the beginning with Emily's phone call to her uncle, that things would move really quickly, but the story is building the world around Emily as it slowly eases into the plot. It's been a very enjoyable read and I can't wait to read the next chapter when it's released.

Really looking forward to the next episode, great work!

I'm really enjoying the pacing in this chapter

Very interesting introduction. Curious to see how things develop and how long Emily's uncle takes to cash in the favour.

The writing is quite solid and the prose is engaging. It's a good start, though I feel that this story could be better enhanced by slightly slowing down the pacing and building out the world more. Overall, an interesting novel so far, I look forward to reading more!

Definitely has potential! I think the first chapter had a lot of information, if you stretch that out over a few chapters and slow down the pacing, it'll definitely enhance the story

Love the opening paragraph, it reminds me of the classic ways TV shows used to open to introduce the world and protagonist's role within that world

It definitely has potential. The prologue set a nice backdrop of the world building which made things interesting but there wasn't too much movement in the first chapter. Still I think it will continue to improve going forward.