Justheguy

I quite loike it. Though the generic 'acne-faced' weak protagonist is a bit far-fetched in my opinion, but I like the execution and style you're giving it. Just needs like a theme or a right feel on the thing...

I like the world building and world setting you've first introduced. Space, some history behind the cadet's backgrounds makes it to hook the reader in. I quite like it. Still, you put way too many commars (,) and make the sentences pause and pause interrupting the story dialogue. Just imagine as if you're the one talking and narrating the story. Thx I gotta go bye!

no

Any thoughts or comments? Please give your opinions on this chapter.

Well, it has to do with his Semblance that effected him...

No, that was Last Jedi.

After all, it wouldn't be interesting if he became a baby-snatching, brainwashing, sociapath serving "the Light", instead of lightning-throwing, planet-killing, badass Dark Lord of the Sith. But he ain't Revan, I can tell you that. Man's too badass to die.

Please comment your thoughts of this chapter. I would like to hear your opinions.

No, it's dead I'm afraid. Life happened. I wasn't eager to continue this story because I felt disappointed from it. Though, I'm working on a new different fanfic, its called RWBY: Jedi of Skywalker if you want to check it out.

Enemy Ninja POV: Yo why is there a blond kid wearing bright orange jumpsuit in the middle of the night-