lilpil

The last three chapters you've written are complete nonsense! It's just unpleasant to read, even though before that it was really cool! You can't handle emotional scenes outside of football—everything looks too forced and artificial.

He scores an average of 2 goals per game for children's football with its skills and brains, this is very little in real life, brilliant children and future stars calmly score 10 so make him at least a little strong and not just an ordinary norm

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I threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a babyI threw it after the garbage man was hiding in the closet and crying like a baby

очень слабый фанфик лучше не читать

this story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terriblethis story is simply impossible to read on just terrible

motivation for down gg levayu

you still suck off minato

I gave a lot of chances to this fanfic but my patience came to an end fanfic slid to the bottom

very bad!!!