At first, I thought the exchanging of 'Am' for 'I am/ I'm' was just the MC's quirk. It turns out to be most of this story world's quirk. So was it done on purpose by the author or is it the author's personal language quirk? It just took me by surprise. It lends a certain interesting flavour to the story, so it can be left in. It'd be more interesting if say only the humans spoke like that or only the aliens spoke like that. Anyway, it doesn't really matter either way. The main thing that needs correcting is dialogue grammar. Please note the following example: "Something was said," she said. "Why would she say that?" he asked. "Because!" she replied. "What if she started something," he mused, pausing to think and then continued, "but just didn't get to finish the sentence?" "She just wanted to get away," she rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter if she just wanted to get the story out, but good grammar is important for marketing your own writing and showcasing your abilities." With that, she flapped a tired arm at him, telling him she was done with this matter. "Go, go. I'm busy here. Whatever she wanted to do is her own business. Nothing to do with us." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Good writers have always been a rare breed. Don't give up on her. As long as she works hard and isn't set back by negative comments, she'll go far," he sighed again and turned to leave. "Wait," she called from her desk. "What?" he half turned back, looking over his shoulder at her. "What if 'she' is a 'he'?" she asked. "Then maybe we are wrong," he replied, raising a hand to leave without looking back. "After all, language has changed and evolved over time. Who knows if today's spelling and grammar will be as incorrect as those of the 1600s in another few year's time?" When a person has a really long speech, you can break it up by inserting a sentence or paragraph on actions or descriptions. There are debates on how many sentences can and should be tacked onto the end of a dialogue describing what happened while the person was speaking or denoting actions after the dialogue. Essentially, anything that has nothing to do with the dialogue should be put in a paragraph of its own. If it gets too long, put it in another paragraph. Hope this short piece of dialogue will help you in knowing where the commas and full stops should go when writing dialogue.

This story has great potential. Although characters are still finding their voice, there are incomplete sentences, it is rife with info dumps, as well as spelling and grammatical errors, the general logical flow and ideas are pretty good. Some of the descriptions are excellent, but there is still a sense of disconnect at times. The added descriptors as to the original (modern) character versus the in-novel (fantasy) character were very helpful in telling me what was going on without requiring too much beating around the bush. However, such 'telling' truly needs to be kept to a minimum, so that the actual story doesn't come to a standstill and can still shine. My main qualms are the info dumps and incomplete sentences. If the author could find a way to integrate the passing of factual information into the actions and story telling, and perhaps find someone who can assist in editing, the quality of the story would go up a few notches. Initially, I thought the Author was going to use the difficult but clever technique of having the original novel story being told in parallel to the MC's experiences, but it seems not. I was wrong and got excited over nothing. I was a bit disappointed, as the use of such a technique is extremely difficult. First, the other story has to be told in a completely different writing style with a completely different tone of voice and be written in such a way that it flows on its own, and yet still matches with the current progression of events which needs to be able to also flow as a standalone but is greatly enhanced by the two being read in conjunction together. It requires a great deal of planning and revision. Unfortunately despite my efforts, I have yet to master such an amazing technique, despite trying over and over again. I was hoping I could meet such a wondrous word crafter and get tips from them to improve myself. Maybe I still will, some time in the future. The use of the italicised paragraphs can help with driving the plot forwards, if the use is adjusted and the rules and reason for the italicised paragraphs are more clearly defined (in the author's planning). In short, it's a good idea, but how you doing this needs to be further refined. Author, be strict with your writing rules, world building rules and stick to them. Don't bend them. It makes things more believable. It's an excellent idea you have and although the high quality the usage is although slightly complex, don't be discouraged, keep working hard, or your novel will fall into the ranks of the mediocre. Don't take the easy way out and don't be lazy with your writing. In conclusion, a story with great potential, worthy of being read and kept an eye on. Don't miss out. I look forward to reading future developments (and the revised version after it has been edited).

Yay! Rain! Awakening naturally!

No. Wait. Shes's The Healer?!? The names just clicked. No wonder the other story alluded to a whole other story there that readers were meant to know when the names were mentioned. As if we were meant to know the significance... Ok. Now I'm super interested to know what happens next. The problem is that I'm using all the money I'm not meant to in buying the next few chapters. I'll be feeling the ramifications of negatives in my pocket for a while now. Who asked me to like reading so much?

Oh ho. This sounds familiar. I just finished reading the other book. Same world, same events, right? Or am I wrong? Which book came first? I'll admit that for some reason I hated the first 4 chapters and struggled to get past them. Don't ask me why. There wasn't really anything wrong with them. It just struck me as all wrong and not immersive. I even fell asleep. After that, things started getting more into gear. But now... Interesting. Very interesting.

Bah. Ethics

Beanie. I also didn't know what other things it is called. Toque is a new word for me, but I like collecting new words. Thanks for the new word.

I'm looking forward to hearing about how the Winter Beast was killed. If the events of the second volume are any reference, after the time skip, we will be slowly brought up to speed and receive all the details we are looking for.

I don't normally read stories of this genre, but was interested by the premise and different perspective on the world of shapeshifters. Although there are scattered grammatical and spelling errors here and there, they aren't jarring like they are in some other novels. They are easily overlooked and don't rudely wake you from the immersion. The MC has a relatively clear and distinct voice and her character is firm, although her 3D-ness does waver at times. The wavering isn't exactly the authors fault (or is it?). It's more to do with this setting and its inherent clichés (or so I believe, since the author has obviously written it in this way for a reason). I haven't been that interested in any of the other stories written by this author and even tried one or two of them before, but I might just give them another chance now.

I just had a thought. Since Rain hasn't been infected by the Spell yet as far as we know, I think it's very likely that Sunny may end up teaching her how to cultivate and ascend.

All my guesses were correct. Of the myriad options available, I was almost certain something like this all would happen. I just wasn't sure on the timing. The timing and pacing by he author in the way he writes are something I can learn from. Also the way he grabs reader attention and submerges them into the world in order for them to become immersed. Well crafted. I applaud. In the meantime, I'm going to keep all my theories to myself. It's interesting to see what everyone else is guessing though.

Perhaps the whole story will end up being concluded in one of the most clichéd lines ever: He woke up and it was all a dream...

My guess was correct! ay!

Then that would imply that one of those beings is in there... and perhaps is the Wishing Well.

I just gotta say. Sharp hair pins - if they're bladed and the blade is sharp and hasn't been covered - you lose hair and then the sharp hair pins falls out. Don't try it if you don't want a bad hair cut. If the blade is blunt and uncovered, it takes ages to cut anything with it but it does make an effective stabbing tool with sufficient force. Most hair pins will have no blade, which means it can't be used as a cutting tool, but might possibly be used as a prying or stabbing tool. Even then, most hair pins I've ever tried to do anything with, unless they were solid metal, tended to bend, break or crack easily. Most unhelpful. If you've ever used a sharp ended hair pin, pray that you don't stab yourself with it or scrape your scalp with it while you're putting up your own hair, someone else it putting up your hair for you, or you/someone is putting it into your hair do as decoration. It really hurts and if you aren't careful, you can easily get a wound infection, which stinks and hurts and may cause you to lose a small section of your hair that had to be shaved in order for the wound to be dealt with properly. And then anybody who comes near you can smell the infected wound and wrinkle their nose at you, thinking you're a dirty person who never showers or washes their hair, et cetera, so on and so forth. Sharp hair pins also have the troublesome problem of causing split ends when you're trying to stick them into you hair, because if they're sharp, they break your hair and ruin it. And sometimes when you've finally managed to get them in your hair and everything is fine, something happens which caused either you or another person to inexplicably be injured by that sharp tool in your hair. Such as you almost trip, somebody reaches out to steady you but they miss, instead getting either stabbed or scratched by the hairpins. Or a friend spots you and comes over to greet you by putting their arm around your shoulder or something and somehow they get stabbed and or scratched by said offending sharp ended hair pin. Or someone tells you to look up at just the right wrong angle and you stab yourself with that annoying sharp ended hairpin. There are some true stories in there. In short, hair pins are best made sturdy (but the sturdy ones also tend to be heavy, so look out for that) and blunt. It's safest for everyone, especially the wearer of the hair pin.

I think there are possibly a lot of 'miscorrected' worts that the auto correct stuffed up. It happens more to me when I'm typing too quickly while in the writing zone or I'm typing on my mobile. The mistakes don't look like purposeful ones caused by a misunderstanding of language.

Nice. I knew Cassie was so much more than she was letting on. 👍

The most obvious problem is the switch in perspective from first person to third person and then in the next chapter it looks like first person again. The other problems are the random switching of tenses between past and present (it's not quite consistent), the weird capitalizations vs non-capitalisation and occasional wrong word. But the main thing is that it is still readable. The story isn't bad so far, but changing of perspectives is really a big turn off.

This is the second time I've seen it, but shouldn't it be Mother Lu, rather than Lu's mum?

Ah. The battle cry that could cause 'prettification'