Aeternabilis

Yeah I get making it a skit but you have to do it for something that makes sense and out of the mc’s control. Potions is all about memorization and intellect something that the mc excels at. Even touted early to have a near edict memory.. If you wanted something more skit like it would be something like magical animals don’t like him (except ravens ofc) this could then lead to the mc playing on it and speaking about how ravens are the only good animals etc

Why hasn’t she taken the god cards?

I like the story but it seems it all comes a bit too easy for them. Therese no real challenge at all… For example, with a near all knowing mirror it would surely know that it’s not the queen that it’s speaking with. Is it not meant to be tied/have a connection with her? If not would the witches of the coven not just do the same thing that the mc did? They have been made out to be way more powerful so you can’t say they don’t have the power to do it.. Over all has been a great story so far. Refreshing to see something so different! Just wish there was a bit more of a challenge

This is disgusting to read, why so many words in bold… totally unnecessary and just makes it jarring af

Yeah the wide wing playmaker is def some bs hahaha doesn’t make sense either as the opposition coach would be able to easily block him outta the game

Always fun when the author kills there story 😂

I don’t like knocking someone’s work they put into the story but for my this was an absolute waste of time and I don’t recommend it personaly. I thought the premise was a good idea that would lead to an interesting plot and interactions with the characters of hazbin and a much more cool Adam. However… all this story essentially is. Is Adam killing everyone in hazbin, no questions asked just goes on a rampage and kills everyone. What is the point? It isn’t a story just a murderous rampage. Yeah this is not for me, I like reading for a story not for this. Gl to the author but not for me ✌️

Doesn’t bode well for the story at all if even the title is wrong… it’s the easiest thing to get right haha

Very well written for a fan fiction. My main problem with it is the war arc makes little to no sense. He needs to go out and gain experience? Let of steam? This is when he has been training in the jungles for months previously… The other thing I find highly annoying is how the female lead needs to magically equal to the mc. Fine if you did this from the start cause then that’s part of her character. But now we find out she is gonna leach off of the mc being bonded to his soul and get a magical boost from her bloodline that magically appears. The main problem is that instead of the people around him having there own opportunity’s to better themselves they are all literally leaching off of the mc to keep up and provide nothing in kind. Just shows very poor storytelling, hmm maybe that’s not the right word for it. Just lazy writing

Very jarring to read. Swaps he’s and she’s pronoun every other sentence it feels like. Throws your mind for a loop and makes it very hard to immerse yourself in the story as you can picture it well with the constant changing. I didn’t get very far so I may be wrong on this front. But it seems like the mc is gonna just follow Tang San. Something I find a bit boring, would be nice for he/she to have some independence