Dialaq
Lv4
I like to read books that I like
2018-12-25 Se unióGlobal
2.8h
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6
Dialaq2yrComentado porthere is no foreshadowing about his fear of bats though? just that he likes batman and batman have a fear of bats too...kind a weak excuse for it
" You did all this in a month.... "Sebastian spoke as we walked through the cave," I showed you all this because I hope you can help me". We arrived before a mannequin, Sebastian took a good look at it before asking me " I have just one question, why a bat?" I looked at the armour I had decided on after a month of deliberation and decided to borrow the words of the original, " I had a fear of bats and I think it's time my enemies shared my dread."- Dialaq2yrComentado por
I don't know how to spell it better but I think you should use more "showing" rather than "telling". thank you. other than that I don't have problem with your writting.
I fell into a river managing to escape the members of the Hand, I was hurt by Elektra's betrayal I knew it would happen but it didn't hurt any less. Seeing that everyone probably thought I was dead, I decided to not disappoint, so from today onwards Bruce Wayne was dead I spent a lot of years and I was no longer a teen but 20 years old and it was time I returned home. - Dialaq2yrComentado por
hold your libido please
"No can do~ Maybe if you beat some godly beast then I can consider it~" She talked in a sultry voice. Damn, she's a perfect girl that I had always dreamed of. - Dialaq2yrComentado por
please change 'as the mass murder' to 'as the mass murderer'. thank you
Este párrafo ha sido eliminado. - Dialaq2yrComentado por
immortallize
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i feel like the sentence "Past me Chuuni me would be proud' can be traded with "Past Chuuni me would be proud"
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