Askook

Also it took 2 chapters to say he found a wounded girl be healed her

This dude gets depressed every other sentence, senses the plot, and spill his life story to answer a question about his scarf

This entire chapter was like 2 paragraphs just retold and re written

I wonder what you have planned for ray's hatsu. an idea I just had is his hatsu os something conceptual but simple sounding, like it lets him feel if things are balanced, or how to balance something. it could be anything from a shelf to a situation to how to balance the odds in a fight or how to balance his skills. I'm sure you have something planned but theres an idea you can work with I guess

didn't he already open the door the first time? why did he do it again but with the force?

Surprisingly good. The main character's personality or "character" is not dog sh*t and has some nuance. I like how she's somewhat sadistic and cruel, but at the same time kinda loving and goofy with her dragons. The pace is also fast enough to get through stuff we already know, but focuses on parts that are different or highlights the mc's differences to original dany. all in all im only on chapter 8, but im looking forward to when the novel updates.

how many times are you going to repeat he can see through peoples hearts, or say he has inborn talent?

cringe

The author wants feedback so he shall have it, I'm on chapter 19 and so far the book is really good, dont mind people saying the pace is slow, to me it is just fine for character development and plot progession. The only advice I feel I should give is to give us some ais pov, I know its her character but she feels like the npc in your party before you do their questline, all she does is follow the mc and only talks when the mc does, but the shopping seen gave me some hope, I dont know what direction you want ais to be so just take my option as what I feel so far. oh also some character pictures would be cool.

i think that you would have to use space for most of the setting, otherwise it would feel like a diplomat with a sword that glows. you could make it like guardians where he gets kidnapped by aliens at some point as a kid, maybe after he meets barton and they become brothers, and he grows up in space watching the star wars movies and thinks they're real and wants to be one one or something, but he's just a "jedi mutant"