Xander_Paz
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porque las rosas son rojas?
excellent way to tell a good story, it feels more realistic to expect that from demons, not all demons are like gremory and that was excellent, only with the ones from the visions you had some problems when adding it but fine as far as I'm concerned. thanks for a good story, it would be nice to make the chapters longer but thanks
I don't feel that what made dxd what it is is that it was echi no hentai and in fanfic they go a lot towards hentai. Yes it is good but in the end it ends up as porn with a plot or porn with a lot of plot, I think that at the beginning you were going very well but I feel that little by little you are leaning more towards that abyss.... but if the concept and the writing are good, congratulations
I gave him a chance and the truth is he disappointed me, the guy grew up in shit, he doesn't have to put up with so much shit that the Loki family gives him... if your intention is for him to act like a fucking kid, put those rebellious thoughts in motion, don't put up with so much shit with crying. He has the fucking dark side of the force, he is an incarnation of fucking chaos, he is not here to endure.... but hey, I know. luck
The truth is, I didn't bother finishing reading the first chapter, the synopsis caught my attention but I think... I don't think I'm an expert or anything, it's just advice that you want to try to start the story in another way, I don't know, but good luck.
Most people in the world live, are born and die in that dark forest. Not everyone does well in life, there are always people who do poorly... sigh, that's life, that's how you enjoy the small glimpses of clarity in the forest