Fiaran

But he's not in the Innate realm. He's in the Acquired realm. His master reminded him not to break through. But Chen Yong actually means the Acquired realm.

Hmm. Seems to follow the basic Wizards & Knights outline. The Knights have breath skills, the wizards need soul power and meditate. But I do see what you mean. This particular story has a bit less of the research and nature aspect you see in some. The cultivation does resemble xianxia somewhat.

Oh? Their unclear paternal origins are irritating, but the origin of some chic picked up out of the snow is not?

water flower: 水花 Shuǐhuā

I find this a mixed bag. The English is good. The characters are more than just stereotypes, though there is a bit of that. The problem is the opening conflict. The logic of the Deceitful monster goes against the rules of the world. In a resource poor world, no successful predator wastes energy or materials. Yet the monster created the fake leader and 12 loggers *twice*. No one knew of the monster or how it worked. The fake 13 could have simply shown up at camp, pretending to be who they mimicked until everyone trusted them. Since no one had ever heard of the monster, no one would suspect a thing. If the author really wanted to be clever and have 2 groups, both fake, then they should have set the scene to justify it. And they didn't.

It's not bad. The author has a grasp on storytelling, but the Asian "Brother Enzo" and "sister Ruby" in a supposedly Western setting gave me flashback icks. The English is a bit awkward, and there's the odd grammar mistake, but nothing dreadful. The world building is decent, but as others say, the interpersonal interactions don't feel natural. They are stiff. I had to laugh at the "uniform". What make a transparent plastic swimsuit a uniform? But somehow, it has a pouch to put things in? I mean other than what you would expect to find in a swimsuit "pouch", wink, wink.

Yuck. If you're writing a novel in a Western setting, then follow Western conventions. A guy might call another guy brother, but not with his name. "Brother Enzo" is a monk, just like Father Paul would be a priest. I have gotten used to it in Asian settings, but it sounds both disgusting and cringe worthy in a Western setting.

"his uniform pouch" You mean the transparent swim suit? Isn't the "pouch" already holding his junk?

source, please?

What idiocy. Didn't they just announce that they can't figure it out? That even the master in front of them can't? So how is trying and failing an embarrassment??