Will5010

way too expensive to read who can afford £80 to read a book?

I love the stroy line but the story could definitely benefit from some editing. for example "yes we want chef" would read better as "yes we want to" strictly speaking this would still be not how a native speaker would say this however you may want to maintain it as a stylistic choice. overall great work but I'd love to see some minor tweaks to improve readability!

lol, if that's what you care about you are not really reading the story.

good try but the writing quality is poor. also the story development seems to deteriorate around 20's we jump from a trial to all out war. very confusing. with an editor and a little bit of rework this could be a great book!

so confused??? how was this the 4th trial this chapter just came out of no! I'm so lost

thanks for the chapter

great work, the quality is good, there was a little dip in intrest when he first crashed but this is developing into an interesting side ark! looking forward to finding out how he will combat the malevolent power, cultivation maybe? on a side note, I think the date on the announcement is wrong😂

good chapter, it was interesting.

This book seems to have the foundations of a great book but is let down by poor writing. if you want to see what I mean I've left comments in the first chapter. another thing is the way speech is handled, having the name after every speech is disjointing. try to build the speech into the sentences. the name after style could then be used for greater effect in confusing fight scenes or when lots of aside characters are talking. Also in general work on the way you express ideas. eg aghh its my alarm is both a unnatural thing to say and disjointing. instead he jolted awake, realizing the dragon roars were in fact his alarm clock. This only an example, there's many ways to do it but this book has a lot of potential if you go back and rewrite it.

begets means from. Therefore "This seed begets infinate potential.........