Toad

I liked the concept, but in practice it disappointed. The grammar was decent, although there were a few mistakes here and there, but the writing read like a translated novel and really was a bit too simplistic(though that's par for the course on this site). The inner voice stuff was really vague and it was hard to tell what the girls were hearing, so it kinda fell flat. The characters were pretty shallow, and the romance was breakneck and again, a shallow excuse for smut. What really made me drop it though was the complete lack of any sort of introspection when the female leads learned that their world was a work of fiction and that they were being mind controlled and manipulated by the plot. Sure there was the obligatory "I concentrated for a few seconds and stopped the mind control from affecting me!" but you'd think there'd be at least a little bit of existential consideration after the realization of their situation.

The writing is decent, but there's been little to no story a few dozen chapters in and the author springs a reveal of the MC being female way too far into the story for my liking. The worldbuilding would be interesting, but it's all tell and no show, so the whole story so far has been a giant training arc carried by fluffy interactions.

Oh, did you update it after seeing my comment?

"Author" steals stories and mtls and edits them for profit. Probably also deletes poor reviews, knowing this site. How ironic, that the greatest scumbag of all was the author himself.

Haha, aren't you the guy with a godawful DC fanfic that you dropped after like 5 chapters?

I continue on my crusade to reward understandable english that reads like it was written by someone who's actually fluent in the language, and boost the ratings of legible stories.

Not really a 5 star, just felt that this deserved a better rating than it had because it's actually grammatically legible rather than the standard grok you find. I swear every time you start a story on this site it's like flipping a coin on whether the writer actually understands english or not.

Exactly, she's good at her job, and she also decided to desert from the country the moment she got the chance.

One thing that's been bothering me as I've read through this story is the lack of mention of other alien races. I mean, sure we've got some unnamed dead alien races like the tiny crystal people and we've also seen proto-gods of some of them, but as far as I can tell the only current alien race ever mentioned by name was the Sandmen

Umm, both sides do remember that the Coalition has female pilots too right? lol