ugh 😩 another one of these they all suck ass. just from the intro alone I can tell you screwed the pacing up and by that I mean how quickly the main character becomes overpowered. As no one who has an IQ over 60 wants to read about some overpowered Gary stew and the only exception to that would be if he was extremely funny. as normal people are more interested in the journey of how he gets there then the destination. I also don't understand why every writer who uses a similar premise to this idea starts there MC out in a major ninja village. as it would probably be better to start the main character out in an unnamed village by the series. As the major villages would have to have been supported by minor farming and fishing villages that didn't have any importance in the series. as these villages are less likely to rat him out as a unique bloodline holder as they are more removed from the propaganda that each ninja village uses. As the way I see it each ninja village is a hub of civilization for their countries like examples New York or Los Angeles or Detroit. as one of the major problems I would imagine with this idea or an ideas similar to it. is that the main character should have a tail like a Saiyan and this should out him as a unique bloodline holder and the problem with that is they're seen as a source of power for the village and since he be the only one they would want to withhold him from any missions that would put him at serious risk of dying and depending on what village they might use him as a breeding stud to bring more of his unique bloodline into the village to increase their military might down the line and most fanfics just brush over this problem like it doesn't exist and that's just terrible.

I'm not a teacher and you don't need to be to realize that description sucked 😕.

you liked your own comment.

you mean like yesterday.

Rias had a look of disbelief in her eyes.

I already knew that but he's writing this in English and I think he should use the English name for it as the Japanese name sounds weird.

where is all this money coming from ?? as he should have spent it all halfway through the chapter

don't want to have refer to image aim

he has levels ??

his power level is higher than this as he is listed as having a power level of 1500 or 1600.

there's no hate. if I remember this one correctly this was just basically a generic psychopath gamer fanfic where there was no fun twist to it at all. As these can be a lot of fun to read when the authors take some creative liberties with it.

ugh far stronger regenerators have died in DBZ Canon. so you're not really safe from everyone

the only template I can think of that would be useful refer to image

great they can now resort to cannibalism.

if nothing else can survive on the planet but a Saiyan because of the gravity what are the saiyans going to eat?? as there appetite one of the most ferocious in fiction.