Chapter One

"Life goes on when you are going on, most especially in your difficult times.

Life doesn't have a pause; it goes on and on like a clock".

@Victor_precious.

Ira.

I've got a life to live and I'm very much aware of that. I tell myself countless times even though I don't stand on it.

I am Eighteen years Ira Clauslowinna Sanderson, I'm five feet eight, and I have noodle-like blonde hair.

It isn't long enough, it just stops right on my shoulders. For as long as I can remember I have not had a comb on it,

I just use my hand dryer to fizzle out the water and keep it cool.

People see me as a tomboy cause I'm always in big boy shorts and big scary face ass shirts,

my belts are too big for a girl and it's always visible, and trust me, they are boyish.

I don't have big boobs so one can assume I don't have at all cause of the big shirts I wear,

my ass is pretty fine and in good shape, it's not that big but it's perfect.

Most times, Guys call me dude because they mistake me for a guy even with my hair and feminine face.

I have pale red lips, my brows are pretty full and Curvy, and my lashes stand erect like some serious students.

My eyes are small but very sharp in looking, I got my Dad's nose which is not flat but a little pointed.

I am the only daughter of my parents, I once had a brother, yea, a senior brother who passed, I hate talking about my family,

especially my Brother Iya, he cared too much about me and was scared shitless of losing me but I lost him first.

Iya loved me for me, I wasn't this asshole but after my brother died I turned this horrible.

I wore his clothes just to feel him closer(that's where all the tomboy epistle started).

My mom abandoned us when I was three and Iya was eleven, she couldn't deal with a man who had just lost his job,

well that happens to be my dad, he lost his job and couldn't provide for us

Mom couldn't cope because she wanted a high-class life and dad couldn't do all she wanted,

so she left without Saying Goodbye not even a single word to Iya and I, at least that was what I was told.

Dad didn't stay with us as often as possible because he was going about doing different jobs that could get us some money,

he returned when I must have slept but Iya was always awake waiting for his return.

Iya took care of me he never wanted to see me cry, I was his responsibility, and as I grew I became extremely fond of him.

At the age of thirteen, Iya started part-time jobs too, he worked as a cleaner and an errand boy in a restaurant around the house,

he gave all his income not taking a little for himself even when dad asked him to, Iya dropped out of school,

because dad wasn't able to pay my fees and his.

Iya insisted I go to school even when I refused and ask him to go instead of me, to please him I started school

while the two men in my life worked their lives out for me.

Finally, Dad bounced back, it was a miracle, he got a big contract and we moved out of our noisy old small house to a big well-furnished duplex,

it's just magnificent to begin with, Iya was able to go back to school, being the brilliant one, it wasn't hard coping.

Dad has always been proud of his little boy and I wasn't excluded he looked exactly like dad, and unfortunately,

I took some features of my mom.

When Iya got into the university I was lonely, he visited only when his school was on vacation just to see me and dad,

most especially me. he says and I quote 'you are my ray of sunlight.

That faithful day Iya came home during his holiday, his friends decided to visit since he just got back,

they all decided to go for party that was around the neighborhood just to make memories, three hours after Iya was out having fun,

Dad got a call that kept me this way, Iya got drowned in the pool and passed away. Of course, he didn't know how to swim,

and he never stayed for dad's swimming lesson because he was scared as hell of drowning.

It was heartbreaking, Iya was my spirit, and he just left me, I was breathing but I was dead, I couldn't eat for days my stomach was tied up,

I lost everything attached to the word "appetite", my eyes were swollen because of the ocean I cried,

I saw people in my blur vision but I couldn't recognize them, they spoke but I could not understand a thing,

I turned Dad's chest into a punching bag the very minute he stopped me from running away to God knows where.

Dad hugged me tight when he couldn't bear the pain I was adding to his wounded heart, his hug broke me the more,

I needed that hug but I wished it was from My happy Iya, I yelled his name severally but he could not hear me.

……………………………………………

The people who trooped in and out of the house were like shadows I could not see them,

I was in dad's arms as I stared at the photograph of Iya.

I found my voice and laid curses on him for leaving me, As I attempted to rise, I lost it and everything turned black.