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thrtyjhry

Autor: ir1x7jm14
Fantasy
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Lee la novela thrtyjhry escrita por el autor ir1x7jm14 publicada en WebNovel. hrathedt...

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The Haggis King (A modernized Riff of Shakespeare’s MacBeth)

A modern twist on the classic MacBeth, this three act play covers the series of unfortunate events that follow MacBob after he talked to three shady hippies about zodiacs and tarot cards at the Moor bar. Act I MacBob, assistant manager of Haggis Inc., is at the Moor bar and he is loaded. He ends up at the back table where three hippies are reading each other’s palms. They ask him his sign (Pisces) and tell him that he will be Executive, and later CEO of, Haggis Inc. He just has to avoid the “man of no haggis born” or some nonsense like that and he has to make sure he avoids snow trees(?) and he’ll be solid. MacBob thinks they’re weird but he’s stoked to hear about his future promotions. He calls his wife and tells her all about it, still drunk. His wife is hella mad that he’s calling her while drunk but she listens anyway because she’s tolerant. She yells at him to get home immediately and sleep it off. He does. A few days later, news arrives that the existing Executive was just fired for having an affair with her secretary and MacBob has to take over the job till they find someone else. His wife realizes that his drunken blubbering was legit and gets a twisted idea. Convince the CEO of the company to just give MacBob the exec job and get someone else to replace the Assistant Manager job, then get rid of the CEO. The plan works and MacBob is the Executive of Haggis Inc. He goes to the Moor bar to celebrate with his buddy. He gets really drunk and sees those hippies again. He wobbles over to tell them the good news and they’re just like, “wild, man. Wild. Look out for the man born of no haggis, amigo. Look out for paper cuts too.” He’s still euphoric about the promotion and hollers “I’m gonna be be King of Haggis!” His buddy tells him to cool it. He goes home and sleeps it off. Act II In the first week, MacBob has been doing stellar at his new job. He just got a contract that will raise Haggis Inc. chains all over Scotland. He gets a raise and the CEO suggests that a party is in order. MacBob accepts and phones wifey the good news. She’s been plotting how to get rid of the CEO and thinks the party is the perfect opportunity to do so and suggests it be held at their house. MacBob is still hung up on the King of Haggis idea that he gets paranoid. After he finds out a colleague is vegetarian, he thinks that’s the guy not born of haggis and fires him on the spot without telling anyone. He gets a major guilt trip afterwards. At the party, everyone’s drinking and having a great time. MacBob hallucinates he’s seeing the guy he fired and is yelling at air. He writes the guests out. Wife interrupts, says he’s just drunk again and everyone goes to bed. The wife wants MacBob to lace the CEO’s nightcap with a vinegar concoction to make him so sick he goes to the hospital. MacBob is chicken so she does it. The CEO dies from tripping over his hospital gown and landing on his head. MacBob gets the CEO job. Act III MacBob is CEO and is NOT prepared for for all the responsibilities. The Haggis Chain contract falls through along with all the partnerships. MacBob is stricken. His wife goes bonkers from the thought of losing what she cheated so hard for and gets committed. MacBob goes to the hippies for help and they turn him away. They don’t palm read anymore. They’re into poetry now. MacBob goes back to his fancy office and is considering ending it all. Lawyers walk in with bankruptcy papers to be signed. He gets a paper cut while signing and gets the shock of his life when he sees who just gave him the papers. It’s the vegetarian he fired. It turns out he had the degrees to became a bankruptcy lawyer after getting fired. Our tale ends as MacBob goes to the Burger King drive-through and when asked what he’d like to order, he says “Haggis.” He gets a paper BK crown with his haggis-shaped burger.

JaKL2299 · Ciudad
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4 Chs

Nozim's Legacy: A Shattered Heritage

They say powerful families eventually become core pillars of any kingdom and empire, that eventually, they would grow so powerful they would become impenetrable to outside forces. And yet, one such behemoth fell to a mere surprise attack. How? These were Alex's thoughts for as long as he ran from his falling family. Shoved into a carriage and separated from his parents, forced to leave his home and start anew inside a mere kingdom. Hunger forced his hand, making him turn to a place that welcomed him. A place that doubles as a home for orphans, for those unwanted, and for those sold by their parents for a bit more coin ...and a slaughterhouse for a lot of these poor souls. Hello readers. Author here. I feel the need to write my thoughts here so there won't be any problems further down the line. What I want to write is a mostly pure-Fantasy novel, so don't expect the MC to be the absolute best in everything he does, says, or thinks, at least for the starting bit. I am still trying to make heads or tails about this novel after all. In any case, that would be a long way off. The world I envision is a bit dark, and I plan to tackle some more mature themes if I get the chance. So, with that said, I don't want to read a 1-star or 2-star review of some kid who got into my novel expecting to get a quick dose of dopamine and receive little in return. The novel is going to be a slow burner, and your job as readers will be to pick it apart, piece by piece. Look forward to missing links, unfinished storylines, and potential plot twists. Feel free to comment wherever you want. I love talking with you, the readers, about the future of this story and where it could go next. It's as fun for me to write it as it is for you to enjoy reading it. I am from Europe, so English is not my first language, which is why I wholeheartedly accept constructive criticism, a rare breed of reviews here. If you notice that I make the same mistake twice, a grammatical one for example, I would rather you tell me the correct way to use it than just shrug it off and say, "Grammar bad". If you want something else from what is going on here, even though my work may not be the most unique one out there, I hope you will give it a try. Oh? You're still reading this? In that case, you may receive a snippet of more information about our favourite and perfect (Sarcasm) MC. "Where are you from, kid?" Asked a grizzled old man, looking at a tired and wet boy no older than eight. "I seek shelter, mister." The boy responded weakly, trying his hardest not to faint on the spot. "This is no shelter, boy. If you want to rest, try your luck elsewhere." The man shook his head. He tried closing the door but the kid shoved his hand to prevent it. Ignoring the blinding pain in his arm, the boy pleaded. "I know you take in kids like me. Please." The boy begged, the strength in his legs starting to give out. The old man clicked his tongue. "We kill kids, boy." "Some survive. Please." The boy passed out.

Neqtrix · Fantasía
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69 Chs

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