Chapter 1: About EH Tall

Kai was a gnome. His lot in life was to sing, dance, and make the front gardens of the many nobles in the area pretty and green.

Kai was a gnome, yes, but…

"And then I placed the dragon's tail right in front of my kitten, Battlepaws, and it roared! I swear, the little thing is getting more and more vicious with each passing day!"

He was also an adventurer. An SSS ranked one, at that. His kitten, Battlepaws, was not a normal cat, but a cat demon.

Not that Kai knew that.

This is a story of them fumbling in the world, trying to prove themselves without having to kill something to prove their point.

A useless an endeavor, yes, but they still tried…

0000

Kai did not like the morning mist. To anyone else, it was refreshing, and not just that, but it also meant that the world was safe from droughts.

Kai did not like the mist, for it was drenching him to the bone. There was an infestation of walking corpses in the cemetery again.

Kai had sworn more than once that should he find the necromancer who kept on bringing the cretins back to life, he'd tan his hide.

If said necromancer turned out to be even more of a bother, then Kai would just have to find his phylactery and break it.

The gnome was fed up with having to get up early and having to trek through the mist just to find some nobody. For, if the necromancer was actually someone who could stand against Kai, he'd show himself.

Riding atop his trusted mount, the kitten Battlepaws, Kai tried to think about the future.

As an adventurer, he had no equal. He had thought more than once what would happen if he simply stepped down from his job.

Risking his life was getting more and more dangerous as time went by. Kai was no longer the youngest adventurer in the guild, even though he had held that title, once.

No, his hair was beginning to be gray, white strands mixing in with his green mane. And Battlepaws, as cute and tiny as he was, was also showing the signs of old age.

The kitten's ears perked up, and it rushed into the mist. Kai took out his whip and prepared to fight. The magical weapon had never led him astray. Kai was sure that it won't now, either.

The cemetery was cloaked with green miasma, as usual. But what Kai saw in the center of the graveyard was not something he had expected.

A fairy, a member of a species Kai had thought extinct, stood before a grave. All dressed in black, with a staff with a skull on it, his expression grim.

Kai could not help himself. He burst out laughing. Battlepaws began to purr, for it too shared the opinion of its master.

Fairies were the poster children of what goodness looked like. The day when a fairy managed to turn into a necromancer would be the day when pigs took to the skies!

The fairy did not turn around, an oink was heard from up above.

Kai looked at the perfectly healthy pig with its brown dots, which was flying overhead.

The gnome blinked, Battlepaws stopped purring, the fairy finally turned towards them.

"So," his voice was sweet like a sugar cane and about as high-pitched as the voice of someone who had played with a balloon with helium before trying to sing. "We meet at last, foe! You have thwarted my plans more than once, and I refuse to just sit by as you stop me from becoming the ruler of this world! For the fairies might be dead, but we are not…"

Kai sighed. Of course, he'd end up stumbling on an insane fairy. Why couldn't his life just be calm and good from now on?

"Battlepaws," Kai stilled. Should he give the order? Let Battlepaws tear those wonderful pink wings which made the delicate fairy into a vision? Kai shook his head.

His dry spell had lasted for too long. It was time to act.

Kai jumped off Battlepaws' back, picking up a flower from the ground. It was wilted, but then again, that was a necromancer they were speaking about.

Kai walked towards the fairy with sure steps. When he reached him, he fell to one knee.

"My love, we meet again!" Kai even winked at the fairy, which made the man blink.

"Do I know you?"

Ah, that was the response Kai had been waiting for!

"You are the reincarnation of my long-lost wife!" Kai bullshitted without a trace of remorse. The truth was that Kai had never, ever, been married.

He had always imagined married life as the end of his adventuring days. Before, he could not even think about such a possibility. He had been young; the world had needed saving.

His first major victory had been the end of the Slime Apocalypse, then came the Wasp Apocalypse, then the hamster one, then the Lich one, then another hamster one…

Kai had realized after about the thirtieth crisis the world went through during his adventuring days that he would not be young for much longer. The world, however, would still need saving every week.

With or without him.

"I am?" The fairy asked, his eyes beginning to twinkle.

Ah, fairies, Kai thought to himself with more than a little amusement. So naive, so cute.

Little did he know, this fairy was not like the others. No, this was Prince Lin, and he was a fairy on a mission.

His people needed his help, and the system which governed the world had chosen him as the catalyst for Apocalypse number… the system did not even know which anymore, but it had chosen him.

And so, the greatest con in the world began.

On one side, there was the gnome Kai, who just wanted someone to cuddle up to at night.

On the other, a vicious necromancer with a sliver of kindness left in his soul, and pink wings, to boot.

A sliver which Kai was perfectly willing to bring to the surface.

The flying pig flew away, oinking all the while.

The world was changed forever.