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III.

Servants prepared a bed for him in one of the guest rooms on the upper floor. He wasn't served by a servant since he left his parents' home. One of the reasons why his mother and father never supported his wish to become a photographer was the fact that he was giving up all the privileges which staying with the family and accepting their conditions would bring him. He could've been rewarded with money and love if he had followed his brother's steps and continued family tradition. But Stuart's choice was a shocking milestone to his family. If not for his mother, he would've been left penniless. She convinced his father to finance Stuart's new residence and photographing equipment. They expected his venture to be a failure and waited for him to come back begging for forgiveness. Through years of hard work Stuart returned every penny he took from his father. He never answered their letters or came back home.

"I see you're well standing", Stuart said to his nephew after all guests had gone. Loreley was putting Louise to sleep. They were in the dining room lighted by a candle on the table. Heavily falling rain produced loud banging noises on the roof. "And Loreley is kind and warm. Louise is pretty. I can imagine Oliver was quite happy with your achievements."

Erwing took a sip of vine. He hadn't drunk while the guests were in the house, but he took the bottle out as soon as they left. "He wasn't approving of Loreley in the beginning. She is a suffragette. We had an argument when I told him I support her, but he got to his senses after meeting her. I'm very happy with my life." His eyes raised. "And you?"

Stuart shrugged. "I'm content. I wish people didn't rush into future as they tend to do. I have no regrets."

Erwing's eyebrows raised. "Truly?"

Stuart twitched. "Well, you know me and your father went to war in the eighties... That was the worst decision I've ever made. It turned me into the person I'm today." He looked in the distance. "Had I not seen what I have seen there, I couldn't possibly had been satisfied with how my life turned out."

"I see", Erwing bowed his head and filled his glass with dark liquid.

When Loreley came downstairs, Stuart excused himself and went to the guest chambers. He hadn't slept outside his home in Dunfermline for decades. As soon as his head was put on cushion, his mind exploded with memories. His brother crushing into his room red in the face, yelling at him. "Have you lost your mind? You'll get yourself killed! Have you considered what would that do to our mother? To me?"

"Nothing can be changed now", Stuart replied. "Even if it was possible, I wouldn't withdraw my application."

"I can't let you go to Africa on your own." Oliver's forehead was covered with sweat drops. He was angry, sad, disappointed, but he kept his calmness and never showed panic. "There's only one thing for me to do. I must go with you."

Two weeks passed and they were deported on a ship. Only three months of war, but enough to change two foolish boys. They grew up more during those months that during years of childhood. And being grown up for Stuart meant turning into a confused wanderer. "We'll go home soon", Oliver promised him every night before they'd go to sleep in the tents. "The war won't last long. Okay, Stu? We'll be fine..." He supposed Stuart's silence meant fear, but Stuart wasn't scared. He was distancing from his brother. It was the beginning of his metamorphose which led to them becoming complete strangers.

An image out of place between the scenes of the past emerged in his restless dreams. A photo of a group of soldiers he saw years after coming back to Scotland. He had met one of them during their fighting in the south of Africa, but hadn't heard from him ever since. But when Stuart looked at the photograph, he knew instantly the man had died in the meantime. Very likely the same day the photo was taken, this military comrade of his fell dead on the battleground. From that day onward, Stuart was able to recognise death in the eyes of the photographed people.

Frightened eye.

Sun rays breaking through the window woke him up. He sat in the bed, mixed dreams fresh in his mind. How had series of unrelated events managed to reshape his personality and lead him on the path of life to his current standing point? In his dream memories he considered lost came back to him. He would've prefer them to be left where they belonged – in the days long gone. He got up with a strong intention to leave and never come back. It was the house, he thought, and his brother's funeral. Occasion made him nervous and dug out bad memories.

"Uncle, come and have breakfast with us!"

Stuart already had his coat on. He stepped into the dining room only to say goodbye, but was stricken by Carol's presence. She got up immediately after seeing him. "I'm awfully sorry for not being here yesterday. I just didn't feel like myself. Please, Stuart, sit with us. We have so much to talk about."

He was tempted by her offer, but reason told him to stick to his plan. "I can't. Work calls. I've been bugging you for too long anyway. I must go." Turning to Erwing, he added: "And nothing you might say will stop me."

His nephew recognised serious tone and agreed not to dissuade him further. "Then at least allow me to walk you out." Carol's arm already slipped around his elbow. He waved his nephew's family goodbye. When Loreley yelled him to come visit them soon, he didn't answer. After walking from the doorway to the gateway in silence, his sister – in – law spoke: "Oliver truly missed you. Why have you abandoned him? No, don't answer, I don't want to sound like I'm accusing you, even if I personally consider you did wrong. I wish you'd come back during his life time. But now I'm reassured that you had never forgotten him and that you shall meet him again in heaven."

She got up on her toes to reach his cheek with her lips. The sensation of his skin being touched with such gentle manner overwhelmed him. He closed his eyes in order not to get tempted by her girlish smile and turned. He was a few paces away from her when he looked back. She hadn't moved. "Carol", he said in a quiet voice, but she heard him. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure me and Oliver shall ever meet in heaven. I will most definitely not be allowed to enter God's empire. And, to be completely honest, I'm not sure Oliver's headed that way either." Not waiting for her response, Stuart continued in a hurry toward the city where he could find a cab to drive him back to Dunfermline.