In which memes are strategically placed, both now, and in the future.

I stood patiently beside Asuna, his arms crossed, my expression a mask of boredom that hid the whirlwind of strategic calculations swirling within my mind.

I was itching to get started, to unleash my divine powers and reshape this world according to my vision.

But first I had a captive audience for my latest masterpiece of world domination.

In the form of my loving wife.

Kirito: Okay, so you might ask why I wanted a noble title in this crap-sack-backwater, better yet, land, Asuna. Owning crap-sack land in a crap-sack land. Totally what we need.

Asuna: I already know this, Kirito. I have an Administration domain, which is just as good as your Strategy domain, if not better, also stop drawing it out with puns.

Kirito: Oh, come on, Asuna, let me gloat a little!

Asuna: Fine, fine. Have fun. You're lucky you're cute, handsome, intelligent, and adorable.

Kirito: Compliment me more, senpai.

Asuna: Just get on with it, Kirito!

Kirito: Alright, alright. So, what we do is, we gain a foothold for information gathering by having our doppelganger sword forms attend those ridiculous noble gatherings – you know, balls, galas, all that stupid info-gathering stuff. Meanwhile, we focus on the things that actually matter, like participating in strategic conflicts and gaining prestige. Then, at some point, we can use our Automatic Casus Belli blessing to give us, in everyone's eyes, the legitimate right to take over. We don't even have to hide the duplicates. We can just say it's a talent of ours, and since 20% of the population has some random, weak cheat that manifests as these 'Talents' at birth, it'll be totally believable.

In the background, Gazef paced back and forth, his brow furrowed in concern. He barked, "What do you mean Hasus disappeared! I sent him scouting in a perfectly quiet destination! I was just trying to get him to stop fidgeting and do something safe!" his voice a gruff shout that echoed through the village square. He dispatched another scout, his face hardening.

Asuna: So, Kirito, what other brilliant ideas, that I totally haven't already thought of, will you enlighten me with?

Kirito: Fine, fine. You don't want to hear me gloat anymore? Be surprised when the time comes.

Asuna: You already know I won't be.

Gazef, his face grim, approached us, his heavy footsteps interrupting our silent exchange.

"We need to move," he said, his voice urgent. "Two of my scouts have disappeared. We need to investigate."

I deactivated the mental link, a flicker of annoyance crossing my face. "Fine," I said, my voice flat. "Lead the way, Captain."

Internally I was amused. Game time was over. It was time to get to work.

The Warrior Captain, Gazef Stronoff, mounted his horse, a magnificent beast whose black coat gleamed in the midday sun. His men, a hardened squad of seasoned warriors, followed suit, their armor clanking as they settled into their saddles. Gazef turned to us, his expression a mix of impatience and was that a hint of pity?

"The journey will be long and arduous," he said, his voice a deep rumble that carried across the village square. "We must make haste if we are to reach the site that I sent Hasus towards."

"No problem, Captain," I replied, my tone casual, almost bored. "We'll just run. Consider it additional training."

Asuna nodded in agreement, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Yeah, a little cardio never hurt anyone."

Gazef's eyebrows shot up, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. "Run?" he echoed, his voice laced with disbelief. "But the journey is over ten kilometers! Even the most seasoned runners would struggle to cover that distance without falling from exhaustion, let alone-" He trailed off, his gaze sweeping over our seemingly ordinary forms.

"Don't worry about us, Captain," I said, waving a hand dismissively. "We're pretty tough."

Internally, I chuckled. These people had no concept of the superhuman feats achievable at higher levels. Running at horse-speed for a measly 10 kilometers? That was child's play for anyone at level 20 of a melee weapon based class.

I still wonder why anyone would choose to use a bow in a game called sword art online.-

But of course, we couldn't reveal that little detail. We had an image to maintain, a cover story to uphold. Let them think we were just exceptionally skilled adventurers from a distant land. The truth, that we were literal gods playing a game of 'hide the unlimited powah!' was a secret we'd keep for now.

Besides, watching Gazef's bewildered reactions as we effortlessly kept pace with his mounted squad was far too amusing to pass up.

I shot Asuna a knowing smirk. This was going to be fun.

The sparsely wooded plains rushed beneath my feet, the wind whipping through my hair as we effortlessly kept pace with Gazef's mounted squad. I glanced at Asuna, who was running beside me, her expression a mask of effortless grace. Even with our powers suppressed, she moved like a predator, her every step exuding a quiet, dangerous energy.

Then, my enhanced senses tingled with a warning. Something wasn't right. The slightly forested area ahead, once filled with the sounds of birdsong and rustling leaves, had fallen eerily silent. The air crackled with a faint, but unmistakable, magical energy.

"Ambush," I muttered under my breath, but not acting until it would make sense for us to notice.

As we rounded a bend in the path and out into a large grass-less clearing the source of the disturbance became clear. A group of figures, clad in black cloaks and wielding an assortment of staves and wands, emerged into our view, their faces hidden behind menacing masks. At the center of the group stood a man with slicked-back blonde hair, a sneer twisting his already unpleasant features. He looked like a discount villain from a low-budget fantasy flick. Behind the cloaked figures, a horde of creatures that resembled oversized, humanoid lamps hovered in the air, their polished surfaces reflecting the sunlight.

"Well, well," Asuna said, her voice a mocking declaration just loud enough our enemies would definitely hear it. "Looks like the welcome-garbage wagon has arrived! Just in time, I have some garbage I would like to get rid of and it's right in front of me!"

Nine of the cloaked figures raised their hands, their fingers glowing with an eerie blue light. Bolts of energy, crackling with raw magical power, shot towards us with a speed that would have surprised even me if I were as strong as I was pretending to be.

Sadly for these morons, I definitely wasn't that weak.

Time for a little showmanship.

"Double Duplication!" I shouted, injecting my voice with a dramatic flair that would have made any Saturday morning cartoon hero proud. Three shimmering copies of myself, each one wielding a replica of my sword, materialized beside me, their movements mirroring my own.

Asuna, catching on instantly, grinned. "Double Duplication!" she echoed, and three copies of herself, their rapiers gleaming in the sunlight, joined the fray.

"Cover Move!" we shouted in unison.

Six figures, three Kiritos and three Asunas, darted forward, intercepting the incoming magical bolts with a precision that made it look easy. The air crackled with deflected energy as the magical projectiles ricocheted harmlessly into the surrounding air.

Gazef, meanwhile, had reacted with a speed and skill that impressed even me. His massive, two-handed sword, a blur of motion, deflected the remaining bolts, sending them spinning harmlessly away. He dismounted his horse, his gaze fixed on the now-exposed ambushers.

"Well," Gazef said, his voice a low growl. "It seems we have stumbled upon a nest of vipers. Shall we cleanse the open plains of their presence?"

He took his position beside us, his sword raised, and his face a grim mask of determined focus. The battle was about to begin and I was going to turn it into a show for the ages.

Ah yes, I had an idea.

"Behold! My talent, Royalty's Designation, allows me to duplicate myself twice!" I declared, striking a dramatic pose that would have made any 90s anime protagonist proud. "And it bestows upon the one I love, my future queen, the same glorious ability!"

Asuna, playing along with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, chimed in, "My talent, Duchess' Graceful Combat, allows me to unleash additional powers, numbered from four to zero, with a passphrase that is magically generated upon its first activation. I can share this ability with a single person whom I love in this lifetime!" She winked at me, her voice full of a playful sarcasm that only I could fully appreciate.

Gazef, bless his simple heart, stared at us, his jaw slack with disbelief. "Why… why would you reveal such detailed information about your talents?!" he sputtered, his voice laced with a mixture of confusion and concern. "Are you mad?! Do you have any idea how valuable that knowledge is?"

"Ah, but it is tradition in my homeland!" I declared, throwing my hands up in a gesture of feigned exasperation. "We believe in transparency, in sharing our strengths with our allies! It is the way of the noble warrior!"

Gazef, clearly struggling to process the sheer absurdity of our claims, shook his head. "When this is over," he said, his voice firm, "we are also going to discuss your 'foreign royalty' status, which is clearly evident based on what you have just revealed. Do not argue."

I grinned, enjoying his bewilderment. "Very well, Captain," I said, my tone dripping with a mock deference. "But for now, I believe we have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Indeed," Asuna agreed, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Those creatures look like they could use a bit of… re-education."

"Separate Form from Function! Release Restraint Level 4!" she shouted, her voice taking on a dramatic edge.

"Separate Form from Function! Release Restraint Level 4!" the woman with the sword giving off way too much divine energy for comfort, who was standing beside that bored looking black-armored swordsman who gave off an aura of unnatural and tangible disdain, declared, her voice ringing with an almost theatrical intensity.

The gates of hell broke loose in the form of them moving with impossible speed while glowing unnatrually.

Before Zechs, 4th Seat of the Black Scripture, could even process her words, one of his most trusted subordinates, a veteran Paladin with years of combat experience, was… well, there was no delicate way to put it- he was eviscerated. Nine perfectly round holes, each the size of a divination crystal ball, appeared in the Paladin's body as if some unseen force had punched through his flesh, armor, and bones with the precision of a master surgeon. The Paladin crumpled to the ground, his lifeless eyes staring vacantly at the sky, his blood pooling around him like a crimson halo. And that was just the work of one of her false-gods be-damned clones!

Zechs' mind reeled, struggling to comprehend the sheer speed of the attack. The three copies of the woman, each one wielding a rapier that shimmered with an unnatural light, moved with a blurring speed that made his head spin. Afterimages trailed behind them, creating a dizzying illusion of ten warriors instead of three. Their movements were a painting made of masterstrokes of death, their blades flashing like silver lightning, each strike precise, lethal, and utterly unavoidable. His men, seasoned warriors of the Slane Theocracy, hardened veterans of countless battles, were cut down like wheat before a scythe. Their screams, their pleas for mercy, were drowned out by the clang of steel, the sickening thud of flesh meeting metal, and the woman's chilling, cold eyes, didn't change at all.

Zechs had to be imagining that amused smirk, there was no way anyone could be amused by any of this unless they hated us!

Zechs knew he had done truly evil things, but they were a secret and for someone to hate us this much, they surely would have to know what we had done.

The man, the Black Swordsman, was only slightly less terrifying. He moved with an effortless grace, his two swords a blur of motion, each swing cleaving through flesh, bone, and armor as if they were made of paper.

One of Zech's Greater Summoned Angels, a creature of radiant light and righteous fury, was bisected in a single, fluid motion, its golden ichor splattering across the ground as its lower half, still twitching with a semblance of life that quickly went dim and stopped, resembled nothing more than a shattered lamp.

Zechs fumbled with his pouch, his fingers trembling as he desperately searched for the summoning crystal, his last hope in this unfolding nightmare. The two figures, the man and the woman, approached him with a leisurely pace, their expressions a mixture of amusement and boredom. They were toying with him, savoring his fear, their eyes gleaming with a predatory light that chilled him to the core.

The battle was over in a matter of minutes. The "bandits," their ranks shattered, their morale as broken as their bodies broken leaving behind a trail of bodies, blood, shredded individuals in several portions and the faint scent of fear. I sheath my sword, stifling a yawn. Even with our power limitations, dealing with these low-level thugs was barely a warm-up.

The sole remaining enemy, the blonde-haired commander with the unfortunate face and a voice that could curdle milk, stood frozen, his eyes wide with a mixture of terror and disbelief. His hand trembled as he fumbled with a large crystal, its surface etched with intricate runes.

"You... you cannot defeat me!" he squeaked, his voice so high-pitched and nasally that it made me wonder if he'd ever actually gone through puberty. "I shall summon… the highest level angel! Behold!"

He thrust the crystal into the air, and a blinding flash of light engulfed the clearing. When the light subsided, a creature that could only be described as a biblically accurate monstrosity stood before us. It was a towering, grotesque version of those lamp-creatures, its elongated, spindly limbs ending in clawed hands that clutched a massive, silver mace. Its face, if you could call it that, was a horrifying amalgamation of eyes, mouths, and what looked like… feathers?

"Ah, yes," I said, my voice dripping with a sardonic amusement, "a biblically accurate monstrosity. How… charming. You know, I think I prefer the fictional versions of angels. They're at least somewhat aesthetically pleasing." I glanced at the creature, then back at the blonde-haired commander, who was staring at me with a slack-jawed expression. "And just saying, that's probably not the highest-level angel. Just a thought."

The commander, his face contorted in a mixture of confusion and indignation, sputtered, "What do you mean?! Level is just part of its title! Dominion Authority, the highest-level angel! That's a title! What are you even saying, separating 'level' as if it's a term that actually matters?!" He pointed a trembling finger at me. "Attack him, Dominion Authority!"

"Ah, yes," I murmured as I effortlessly dodged a lumbering swing from the mace, "primitives."

Hey guys, I know that some of you read my story, totally some, not all. Therefore some if not a large portion of you are aware that this story, where an OP version of Kirito, Asuna, and Yui, from SAO abridged, go about fucking around with people who are begging to find out, all while enhancing their inter-versal and soon Multiversal Empire! So what you might or might not know is that, that story, the one you are totally not reading right now at this very moment, is also available on my patreon with ADVANCED CHAPTERS. 

 Every story I produce, for 2.49$, will get you three chapters early on (currently only Multiverse shits itself but soon more.) those amazing stories!

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Woah, now we're going to 

The other tiers don't matter yet, but don't worry! they will sooooooooooooooon!

Here I go, reading again!