The Luck of A Devil

Cael Bernog crouched in the alleyway, watching the plump lizardman wiggle his fingers and gesture at the wares set in great heaping piles on the cart beside him. Several onlookers watched in rapt attention, as he regaled each one of the strange and wonderful goods he'd brought from some distant land to their doorstep. Trinkets and baubles of every type glittered and gleamed in the mid-morning sunlight peeking through the colored awnings and many-patterned tarpaulins strung overhead between the multi-story stucco buildings of the Market District.

To a trained eye, it was obvious even at this distance that a lot of them were worthless junk. The city served as a large trade hub, and saw more than its fair share of tourists and travelers paying visits to the markets, looking for something different than they were accustomed to seeing. Such little metal niceties, made of cheap materials like tin and then glamered or painted gold, sold easily to such people. Give them a story about the items being recently unearthed relics, or important cultural artifacts, and the well-meaning but ill-informed buyer would gladly part with far more money than the object was worth. And they'd be happy about it, too.

It was a grift like any other grift, only the person on the receiving end of it typically felt good about their end of the exchange.

Cael, however, wasn't looking at the sundries on the merchant's cart. He instead watched hungrily as the fat-fingered reptile slid handful after handful of coins from his satisfied and unwitting customers into the ever more bulging purse at his side. In the time that he'd been watching, he'd counted at least fifty gold, and easily twice as many silver make it into the leather pouch. Just that purse alone would be enough to feed the entire gang meat and ale for a month, and that was after they paid the 40% tariff to the local Shega. He instinctively licked his lips at the thought of marinated kebabs.

He glanced past the merchant and his cart into the alleyway across the narrow street. There in the shadows, Shoggi sat pressed against the left wall, his dark olive skin making him all but vanish against the darkened brown stucco. Had Cael not know his friend was there, he doubted the he'd be able to see him at all. Cael met his gaze and quickly flashed a few hand gestures of Thieves Cant. Every sneak-thief and gutter rat in the city learned Thieves Cant before they lost their milk teeth. A strange mixture of sounds, slang, and sign language, it served the purpose of allowing anyone doing griftwork in the Shega's turf to rapidly communicate plans and ideas to each other with bystanders around being none the wiser.

Shoggi thought for a moment, then shook his head as he gestured towards his eyes. The Beggar's Miracle wouldn't work. Too many people watching.

Cael gestured again, differently this time, and Shoggi shrugged as he signed back. Upset the Apple Cart would work, but it would draw a lot of attention from the guards. Probably too risky.

Getting impatient, Cael grimaced and twirled a finger in the air beside his head as he whistled gently, before making the signs for family and seize. Sibling's Sanity, and Cael would be playing the insane member of the duo.

Shoggi chewed on his lower lip for a moment, then nodded. After you, he signed.

Cael quietly bent forward and grabbed handfuls of first and grime from the alleyway floor and smeared them across his exposed skin and face, even being sure to grind some of the scum into his hair and clothes. In his experience, if there was one thing a wealthy target was more likely to be panicked by than a crazy person, it was a filthy person.

Once he was satisfied that he was sufficiently disgusting enough, he quietly crept to the opening of the passageway and cast a furtive glance down the street in either direction. To his relief, he only saw two guards, and they were on the far end of the street walking away from them. In a few seconds time, they would be rounding the corner out of sight, and well out of earshot of any but the largest of commotions. One of the advantages of being a cutpurse in the Coin District is that the merchants and traders and buyers all made such noise bargaining and hawking their wares that even a death scream routinely went unnoticed until some passerby tripped over the body.

He glanced across to see that Shoggi had already stepped out of his alleyway and was pretending to pay attention to the wares of a merchant a few stalls down from their target. Every few moments, he would cast a glance back in Cael's direction, waiting for the signal. Fortunately for the two of them, it was Frielday, which meant the markets were flooded with busy bodies and distracted eyes. It was unlikely even the most racist shoppers would pay much attention to a dirty, raving devilkin and an absentminded half-orc..

Finally ready, Cael twisted up his face into a deluded grin and stumbled out of the alleyway, giggling feverishly as he shambled out into the main street. As he did so, he made a point of deliberately knocking into or grabbing onto passerbys around him, cackling to himself and muttering incomprehensible nonsense. Soon, he began to have everyone's attention, and they began to mutter amongst themselves, and many gave him a wider and wider berth until there was a cleared circle around him a half dozen feet in any direction. He now had a clear shot at the lizardfolk merchant, who eyed him warily out of the corner of his eye as he continued to sell to two unassuming elven women in robes.

By this time, Shoggi had repositioned himself to Cael's other side, ready to jump in and pull the next part of the grift as soon as Cael made his move. Seeing his partner in position, Cael lurched forward and threw his arms around each of the elven women, pulling them together towards him as he stumbled, nearly throwing all three of them into the merchant's cart. He twisted his head and said something obscene, before dragging his tongue across the woman's face.

The woman shrieked and tried to tear herself away, tumbling to the ground and clawing herself away in terror. The other elven woman tried to call for help, but Cael clapped his now free hand over her mouth and shook his head, his eyes wild. The lizard merchant's eyes widened in fear, and he hissed something, but Cael didn't hear it.

He didn't have to. He now had the signal he needed.

Unceremoniously tossing the girl to the ground, he turned and dove at the merchant, tackling into him. The merchant, somehow, was lighter than Cael had anticipated, and rather than just slamming him into the cart, the force knocked both of them clean off their feet. And the cart, rather than being locked in place with wheel locks so it wouldn't move, rolled backwards with them a few paced until it apparently hit an angled piece of stone that caused the whole thing to flip over on its side.

And since the two of them were now between the two side-mounted pull rods for the cart, when it flipped, the right side rod spun up and knocked them both to the ground with enough force to make Cael's head spin. He found himself somehow now lying underneath the bloated body of the merchant, pinned in place with enough weight that he couldn't scramble out from underneath him. From the feeling of things, the merchant was unconscious, or at least, deliberately acting like he was for some reason.

Lying on the ground, barely able to breath, Cael tried to figure out what to do next. With as much commotion as he was hearing, there was no doubt someone was already on their way to summon the nearest guards. If the ones he'd seen previously hadn't gotten very far in the last couple of minutes, it wouldn't take them long to get back to deal with the commotion.

In the past thirty seconds, what should have been a textbook rip-off job had turned into an absolute disaster thanks to a series of unlikely and unfortunate circumstances. It was no wonder everyone in the gang called him Cael the Cursed. Thinking quickly, he flashed the signs for a change of plans on his free hand. Shoggi would probably be watching for this. Once he did, he then tried to shuffle his other hand out from underneath the rotund lizard to try and pull himself free. As he did so, his hand came across a lumpy bulge that he was almost certain was the fat man's purse. Fiddling around, his fingers finally found the knot tying the bulge to the merchant's belt, and set about unbinding it. Getting a decent angle on the knot with his hand pinned was a struggle, but he finally managed to pull it free, and with a few forceful pulls managed to get both it and his other hand free from underneath the unconscious body.

In the distance, he heard voices shouting over the din of the nearby rabble.

"Make way for the Sheikh's Guard! Make way!"

His gut sank. They apparently hadn't gotten nearly as far as he'd hoped. He reached into the purse and grabbed as many coins as he could manage. Before he could do anything further, he felt the body shift on top of him. It seemed like the merchant was finally coming to. To his surprise, however, the body rolled like a barrel off of him as somebody else moved it. Before the body was completely off, he jammed the handful of coins into his pocket quickly and smoothly enough he felt certain no bystander would notice. Then he was forcibly draugged/pulled/yanked to his feet by a pair of well-muscled hands. One of the hands squeezed his arm three times in quick succession, the Cant signal for "play along". He turned to see the familiar face of Shoggi scowling at him as the half-orc strong-armed him in the direction of the guards' calls. He made a spectacle of calling out loudly, "now let's see that your justice is served, ruffian!" before he struck Cael upside the head. It was a staged blow, and there was little pain, but anyone watching would have been convinced otherwise as Cael growled and stumbled. Shoggi drug him back to his feet a second time, pushing him forward as the crowd parted and jeered. Someone threw something hard that bounced off of one of Cael's horns, and the resulting pain was enough to make his eyes water.

As the cries of the guards drew closer, Cael muttered verbal instructions in Cant. There's coin in my right pocket. If someone busts us, filch it so the guards won't take it.

Shoggi squeezed twice in acknowledgement, then muttered back. Sorry to have to use The Caged Bird. It was the only plan I could think of on the fly that would get you out of there.

It's fine. Not my first night in a holding cell, Cael signed back.

The two approaching guards finally spotted the two of them, and Shoggi motioned them over. As they came within half a dozen paces, Shoggi shifted his grip on Cael, placing one hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, before throwing him towards the two guards with a shove. As he did so, Cael felt the gentle brush of Shoggi's hand sweeping his right pocket clean.

"That's the source of the disturbance. Seems either strung out or out of his mind. Either way, he assaulted a merchant and knocked him unconscious while knocking over his cart." Shoggi said, doing an excellent job of sounding morally offended by the whole thing.

One of the guards grabbed and restrained Cael while another quickly patted him down. Seeming a bit disappointed to not find anything on him, the guard performing the patdown frowned, before turning his attention back to Shoggi.

"You said he was acting crazy?" He asked.

Shoggi nodded. "Completely mad."

"Right. Well, I suppose you are to accompany us to the local barracks for questioning, then?" The guard asked, crossing his arms.

Shoggi shook his head and threw up his hands. "Meaning no disrespect, but my role in civil service is now over. I'm sure you can find someone to corroborate what happened."

The guard scowled. "Can't say I'm surprised. Your kind are never much for helping the local authorities."

Shoggi snorted. "I brought him to you, redblood. That's enough."

Without another word, he turned and began to walk back the way he came. As he did so, he made several almost imperceptible fidgets with his fingers, but their meaning was clear.

"Tell them nothing. Someone will bail you out in a couple hours."

Before Cael could read any more, the guard restraining him forcibly turned him around and pushed him forwards.

"Move!"