The Game of Kings

Ode to the Boy Who wasn't living till he was dying

So… Hi! I'm Chase Cain, I go by Cain Except for my family. Long story short the world is going to end. Which really sucks I mean I was just such a loser, a sucky life in general, I had one friend and a family that I didn't appreciate and saw as a burden. The girl I liked doesn't know I exist and I didn't live long enough to get a good job to bring myself above the poverty line. Plus I will never get to finish one piece.

I know that's a little selfish to be sad for myself for not having a shiny new sports car when I turned 16 or whatever a rich kid had at the end of the world, but I mean if someone had told me the world was going to end, I think I could have done more but I mean I probably wouldn't have died if someone could have warned me.

Everyone has heard that life's not fair but that doesn't stop people from dreaming of a better life through hard work and effort and a good solid plan. I thought I was ahead of the curve having a sucky life meant that I was entitled to something amazing in the future. It changes everything when you find out it was a lie you told yourself. That's what a lot of people felt when they found that the world was ending around them.

My family is kind of a long story, but I'll try to sum up I had far from the traditional two-parent situation, my mom died when I was a kid my father was as deadbeat as they come that milk must've been ridiculously good, my grandparents took care of me and my sister. Though My mother's mother had a son already, their relationship was strained so she didn't like me very much, but she saw my sister Chrissie as a second chance since she had lost her daughter.

She tried to take my sister but had to settle for visiting-type situation because my mother had insisted that my father's mother raise us. I may be a bit overstating how bad it was not having a mom and dad but honestly, even if I didn't have them, I had my paternal grandfather and grandmother were the ones who raised us, and we were loved and we had a decent childhood.

I was very close with My Grandfather who was a very religious and constantly busy he used to be a detective for the local police department so he wouldn't let me get away with anything (though I definitely tried) My grandmother, his ex-wife, their relationship was strained but they were kind of tied together by their love of us.

He would take us to church Wednesday nights and once a month we would go over for a weekend, and he would teach us a lot of things. One thing I did know about my grandfather outside of church was after he left the police department, he had become a bit of a survivalist nut I don't know if he picked it that reason but the forest behind his house was perfect for indulging in his interest. Our entire childhood we would explore the forest though it didn't stick as well with Chrissie as it did me because of her constant complaining. I knew she loved the forest in general despite that when I would catch her studying plants.

My grandmother well our relationship wasn't much different than the one I had with my grandfather except she didn't get any breaks she was both Our mom and Our Dad. While respectively my grandfather and my maternal grandfather cared for us. My grandmother she did everything for us and with extraordinarily little reward I mean loved her, but I didn't show it well.

I had some other family sprinkled around that I would see at holidays and in passing but not anyone that was close or would ever be closer than then that faint sign of recognition in a grocery store.

At 15 was when I got my first job, it was just a cashier job at the game store, well it was a bit more than a game store we sold pretty much anything that fell under the nerdy umbrella and had games set up for people to come and play by the hour but since we were in a small town, we maybe had two people in at any time. It was pretty close to my house and school, and I made pretty good money for my age, and it gave me an outlet outside of home and school I had been having problems with my grandma they were all my fault, but I wasn't ready to face that fact I mean its hard feeling that angry and depressed and I took it out on the people closest to me.

I had one good friend during high school. His name was Damon archidong. Everyone at school just called him dong boy. He was very outspoken in his hatred of the name so of course it never died down. Well, he was outspoken in everything. He also worked at the store with me every day we would go back and forth cashiering and stocking. His outspoken personality left him an endless number of beatings over the year. We were kind of like two sides of the same coin.

I had a problem connecting with people if I'm completely honest. I was an introvert I liked being alone I loved video games and reading being alone felt simple I liked simple. I had very few friends over the years because of my anti-social tendencies and it had gotten a bit better over the years, but I just couldn't understand what people meant when they said certain things is that sarcasm or if they were lying, I'd find myself asking.

Even with all the excitement that comes with growing up it all felt boring sure there were pressing things like money but when I thought about anything beyond that like the future, I wanted life to be like a video slay the monster get the girl. I loved video games because of the stories and excitement you can get through it. The most excitement I get in real life is choosing chicken nuggets to go with my school lunch then Salisbury steak.

I wished for excitement and adventure. Fuck!