The sun was setting, and darkness was slowly consuming its final shiny rays as a quite familiar sense of not belonging settled on my gut. This happened every single night when all the horrors of my dearest broken life would catch up and remind me of not being worthy to anything or to anyone but myself.
I lay in a corner of the small,smelly dark room that has been my home for the past five years. I owned only two possessions, a mat and a blade to get me through the darkest of nights. It's hard to imagine but I've worn the same pair of jeans and T-shirt for five years. Only took a bath when my beloved parents would have mercy on me and pour a cold icy bucket of water all over me. To them it was a form of punishment but to me, it was a blessing in disguise.
Well tonight was one of those nights. From a distance I could hear familiar footsteps coming my way and two familiar voices chattering from a distance. "I'm tired of this boy, when will he ever change. I mean he did kill his sister. That should have automatically turned him into a wolf but it didn't during the first moon nor has it till now. if tonight he doesn't change, we're getting rid of him, he's of no use to us." she said.
In fear I held on to my blade,not understanding a single thing or information that they've been feeding me for the last five years. It gave me comfort and assured me that one day it'll all make sense. They told me I was a werewolf and that I was supposed to change into one during a full moon after I had taken an innocent life. But as far as I knew, I hadn't killed anyone. My past life was a blur, I could remember nothing, I wasn't sure I even had a sister or if this two were really my parents as they claimed. Hell I didn't know even where I was. The only memories I had was of the first day I was thrown into this cage of a room.
My only happiest memory was when they gifted my mat after an year of sleeping on the dirty cold floor. The blade? However it landed on my jeans pocket, I don't know but I thank the heavens for that. Without it would have died a long time from all the torture I received. My sweet blade taught me how to survive and handle the pain with time. After it teaching me to handle and tolerate the pain, it taught me how to understand pain and what it came with...( lessons) Lessons that would help me survive in this cruel and heartless world.
After understanding what pain came with, my dearest blade taught me how to care and love the pain. This was the hardest of all three but with time, pain and I became lovers and from that moment henceforth we bowed never to leave each others side. In time of darkness and fear, pain vowed to be always there for me and help me get through it. And true to its word, it helped me and made stronger with each passing night of terror.
I heard the lock of my door being turned and the door was wide open and two shadowy figures stood before me. They had chains in their hands and the thought of being tied up the whole night frightened me. I reached out for my blade as fast as I could and with ease and a lot of care I made a cut on top of the many cuts I had in my wrist. This time I and the blade agreed to take me deeper and more in love with pain. The sight of red velvety liquid flowing out of my wrist, and it's tiny droplets falling down on the floor with pride and grace, my soul was finally at ease and somehow at peace.
The two just stood there shaking their heads at me in disgust and eyes full of disappointment and hatred. Uttering no words, the man who claimed to be my father, walked towards where I was, gripped both of my hands with all his might and then the woman who claimed to be my mother, also stepped forward and tied both my hands with the the chains that were connected to the wall and then tied up my legs and my back with the chains they had carried.
The tighter they tightened the chains, the more fearful and scared I felt. looking for comfort from my blade and seeing that I couldn't make a cut on my skin and connect to my love pain, I let out an angry growl that shook the entire room and my parents seemed to be a little bit scared and excited at the same time.
"That's it little boy, let all your anger out and let your wolf side out of that horrible body of yours," my mother said patting my head. Anger was boiling up inside me crossing all the limits I had set. I could feel veins start popping out of my face and the temperature in the room become hotter by the minute. The two tried to provoke me by insulting me and piercing the deepest parts of my heart and how I wished I would just snap their heads of and feed them to the dogs. They were hitting my every nerve with their insults calling me what I already knew I was, worthless.
The anger in me started to overwhelm me and I just wanted to let it all out and do the unimaginable. Slowly by slowly I started to try to break the chains withholding me from hurting this two morans standing in front of me.
At that time the full moon was clearly out in the open sky as it illuminated it's bright light across my room through the small railed window on top of the wall. With all the strength that I could master, I tried to break from the chains that were now starting to irritate my skin. Out of nowhere I started feeling all my bones start to ache and suddenly break. I was scared as hell. What if they were right, what if I was a werewolf.This would change everything.
The moonlight rays were all now covering the whole room illuminating a lot of light in it making everything visible. I looked at the two figures Infront of me and then all of a sudden they started tying up themselves with chains as they cried and howled in pain, within minutes of painful crying, they turned into wolves and they broke loose from the chains. Shocked and afraid I slowly started to step back as they slowly made their way to me.
At this moment I really wished I was a werewolf as they claimed as that was the only way I could escape from this shit hole and not be eaten by the seemingly hungry wolves in front of me. Still turning back slowly, and in fear, I hit a hard stony surface and that's when I realized I was at the wall's end already and there was no escaping this. I closed my eyes and started saying a prayer to the heavens as tears rolled down my face. An unfamiliar sense of deja vu hit me and I slowly opened my eyes only to be met by those of a black very furious looking wolf. Couldn't my life just get any worse. I was now facing three wolves.
One look at those eyes, and memories of my past started flowing back to me bit by bit. I saw myself clutching on the small neck of a little girl who was crying for me to stop hurting her, and the more she screamed the more angrier I got and tightened my fists on her neck. From the way her eyes popped out and her face turning scarlet red I could tell she was slowly running out of air.
Tears were rolling down her pretty face and since she couldn't talk, she begged me with her eyes to please let her go. With her eyes she begged for mercy. A voice inside me was telling me to stop but I couldn't. I wanted to let her go but I couldn't. It was as if I was not in control of my actions. A strange voice in my head kept telling me that she was too precious for this world and needed to be out of it. I tightened my grip even more on her mercilessly wanting to end the life in her.
All kinds of emotions were swirling up inside me and I was super confused by what was happening. It's like I didn't have a mind of my own and something else, more powerful and with authority was controlling me. I started to let go of the girls neck though not completely. The wolf's voice was loud in my head that I needed to end her but I didn't know why she had to be ended. Wait! how the hell could a wolf talk, and what the hell was he doing in my mind. I lifted up my face and few inches Infront of me there stood a black wolf just looking at me and it felt like I really needed to obey whatever I was being told.
I looked at the girls eyes that were already red from all the crying and the struggle. She touched my face with her tiny soft hand and almost immediately another more familiar voice arose in my head telling me that I was better than this and that I would regret killing her for the rest of my life. Not knowing what voice to follow, I started becoming agitated as this two voices started to compete into winning over my thoughts.
It was then that the girl Mentioned my name that I came back to my senses and understood what was taking place. Our mother had prophesied this exact event minutes before she passed on. It all came back to me and I knew what I had to. I winked at her and she winked back. I growled angrily into the night and within a second I had seemingly ended the girl's life. Or at least I want the wolf to think I did. The girl lay motionless on the ground without breathing. The wolf slowly came towards her and took a good look at her, confirming that she was dead, he quickly left and ran into the woods not to be seen again.
Minutes later, I saw the girl get up and another wolf came to her rescue and carries her on it's back. This wolf was white and had blue eyes. Before the little girl left with the wolf, I remember her telling me to stay strong and that I'd see her soon. The two vanished into the darkness too and I was left standing alone in the park. Something hard hit me in the head and all I could remember was waking up in a dark locked up room, with two unfamiliar faces staring down on me.
Opening my eyes, I came back to reality and saw that the two wolves had left and the black one too was gone. The chains that had previously tied me were down on the floor, broken into pieces, and the metal door was wide open. Whatever happened when I was in a daze, I don't know what it was but it sure worked in my favour.