PARENT WITH MY BOSS

Pomme, go fetch this, go fetch that... that's all he knows, with his pretentious air of being at the top of the class. He's polite and kind to everyone, treating the whole world with respect except for me. At first I thought he just had a problem with women, but he is extremely gallant with most of his female colleagues, so I highly doubt it. Yet, I tried everything. I would come to work early, groom myself well, bring him coffee every morning, and one day, just like that, with his stern face, he admitted that the coffee was awful, and I should stop bringing it, that I dressed like an emasculated country bumpkin, and he felt a bit morose seeing my face early in the morning. Yes, most of the time, when he said these mean things, he did it with a calm tone, almost as if he was giving me advice. When he looks at me with his small eyes, I feel like I'm being pierced by poisoned needles, he disturbs me, and not in a good way.

Pingguo, do this, Pingguo, do that... It never stops all day. I don't know if all the tasks he asks me to do are within the professional clause, but I'm so afraid he'll fire me for nothing that I prefer not to complain and just execute. He's so mean, but his angelic face and good manners don't let it show. Sometimes, when I'm in the corner in his office and I watch, I think he's really handsome when he's silent. That he's perfect when he's focused, that he could be my ideal man. But the next minute, he opens his mouth, and I just want to smack his head against his disheveled head, his perfect haircut.

Pomme, shut up, Pomme, get out, leave me... He spends his time giving me orders without tact. Yet, with his girlfriend, he's as sweet as silk, but when it comes to me, he throws things at me, yells at me, and pushes my forehead. I thought about biting him once, but then I thought about diseases and my dismissal, so I gave up. One day he said, "If you think about leaving, be sure that you won't work anywhere else, I'll give you such a bad recommendation that even your mother will refuse to accept you at her place."

That day, I should have told him to shut up and that what he was saying was stupid since my mother died when I was a adolescent, but I said nothing. And since then, every time I do something wrong, he repeats it. Because of him, my mom must be feeling chills, poor thing, all because of that damn jerk. Sometimes, I want to hit him, but I love his mother too much to do that to him. When she often comes while I'm cleaning at his place, she treats me well. Cleaning? A penalty as he says, when I reach the quota of five professional mistakes, I have to do a chore for him. Cleaning, dishes, laundry, groceries, grooming his stupid dog. Lucky, what a dog's name. Like his owner's probably, Yuanwei Hua.

I pity him for having such a name, a girl's name. Is the devil really a woman? Maybe Yuanwei Hua is possessed, and that's why this sadist takes it out on me so much out of gender jealousy? Or is it just... he hates me just like that. Our ranks, our origins, our lives are different, and that constitutes a reason for him to scorn me when I haven't chosen anything. I didn't choose to have a deceased mother, an alcoholic father, and a spendthrift sister all the same. But Yuanwei Hua hates me. And finally, after a hundred nights wondering what I should do, I decided.

– And then, screw it, I don't care.

Since then, I live in my bubble while Yuanwei Hua does everything to get me out with his snake tongue. And the more I don't care about my fate, the better I live now. Sure, I still complain, but life is much better when you don't care about what your boss tells you or does to you, and when you imagine him with ridiculous faces every time he talks to you, that's my technique. I imagine him as a girl, with underwear on his head, cross-eyed, I do my best.

I do what I can to live in this hell; I have to if I want to pay for my father's detox treatment and my little sister's beauty products. My father spends most of his time there, but at least I know where he is thanks to that, there's that. In short, normally in life, I aspired to become a marketing agent for a big company. And finally, I work well in a big company, but a guy, a former university classmate offered me a job as an administrative assistant in his company, Fresh, a renowned clothing line in China. I thought I would be useful to society, that I would fulfill my dream. But instead, I spend the whole day being the maid and Uber driver. Who is this dear classmate who duped me? I won't keep the suspense going any longer! It's him, Yuanwei Hua!

With me, it became an escalation, the more time passed and the more I wanted to make him suffer the way he made me suffer. One day, while he was on the phone, I discreetly opened his desk drawer, took out the sugar bowl, and filled it with fine salt. When he took his first sip, the look of disgust on his face was reward enough for my efforts. Another, I quietly borrowed some important files from his office and hid them temporarily. By the time he realized it, unrest and frustration had already been sown. I liked seeing him reproach himself, and especially not holding me responsible for a mistake in the office.

But my most memorable revenge so far has been the threat of the competitor. Under the condition of anonymity, I sent a fictitious email to Yuanwei, pretending to be a "competitor" interested in his business. I used a provocative tone and ambiguous questions to destabilize him. He spent a good part of the day trying to discover the identity of the mysterious sender. Again, I loved seeing this angel's face crumble, overwhelmed by stress and suspicion. But, unfortunately, after a week we discovered that it was false, and this had the effect of making the big Yuanwei Hua double in size, he literally thought he was a sort of wolf of Wall Street after that. In short, I still laughed a lot despite everything.

In any case, my relationship with Yuanwei Hua has always been ambiguous, but before becoming his assistant. I couldn't put a specific name on it, friend or enemy.

I think that, he is just a scoundrel! One moment he treated me as a friend, and the next moment as a perfect stranger he despised. I'll never know why Yuanwei Hua wanted to give me this job; I'll never know why he hates me. But all I know is that I feel the same way. This annoying face deserves to be punished for mistreating people; unfortunately, I can't really make him pay a heavy price because he pays my rent. Still, I do my best to annoy him, push him to extremes, to scream and push my forehead, and to order me to get out.