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PANDORA-Rise of the fool

Autor: just_stay
Fantasy
En Curso · 33.4K Visitas
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Resumen

"Welcome to PANDORA, a realm where the boundaries of reality are redefined, and the depth of your imagination is the only limit." Join Orion Nightshade as he navigates a world of magic and monsters after a tragic end in his previous life. Reincarnated and armed with future knowledge, Orion rises from the fool of the Nightshade family to become the Vampire Overlord. Follow his journey from loss and grief to newfound power in this captivating tale of resilience and transformation.

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Draekai · Fantasía
4.3
805 Chs

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KingsmanCharles
KingsmanCharlesLv3KingsmanCharles

ReviewAfter reading a few chapters of the novel, I'd like to point out some pros and cons of the book: . 1) Not an appealing cover. Any reader when browsing through the novel section, he always pay attention to the cover and title. The title name is doable but the cover is not upto standard. Please upload an attractive cover which you think is best suitable for your story. Also, make sure the title in the cover is written in bold letters with visible color font so that it is easily readable when you see it for the first time. One more thing, your synopsis is too short. Try to make it bigger and add some main points on why one should read your novel. You may use the 2nd chapter reference as a base to write your synopsis. it'll draw a lot of attraction if you mention about mc living as a character of a novel and stuff. . 2) Secondly, the writing quality is outstanding. No doubt about it. However, the writer added too much of a poetic tone in the first chapter that it felt like I was reading a poem, rather than a novel. I don't mind a description where a poetic tone is used. But it should be done moderately. . 3) Also, both chapters were excessively descriptive and informative. There is an unwritten rule among webnovel authors that the story should be about less tell, more show. For example; Instead of telling me that Adam (Imaginary Name) is feeling angry towards Rachel, show me how is he angry and how much. You can use dialogues, gestures and many things at your disposal. More importantly, the dialogues were so little that I didn't feel any emotion while reading it. Or should I say too much description of emotions were given through narration that I felt bored at times.  . 4) Please don't be offended. I'm just saying you can do better than this. Your writing quality is marvelous. You only need proper direction on how to use it properly.  . 5) There were only two chapters that I read. So, I don't know much about the plot. But reading the 2nd chapter, I knew where this was going. It was a story where the main character was transported into a novel that he read, right? . 6) If so, I can say it has a lot of potential if done right. Since it used young master reference, I'm guessing it is based on the medieval age where Kings, Dukes, Counts etc positions were in the ranking system of families. I guess, I can see it's attractiveness right there. Since this lore is trendy, I can pretty much say the book might become popular if written properly.  . 7) Anyway, the novel is good, overall. The only thing you need to change is execution. While reading the story, there were times when I felt disconnected because of so much going on and there was no explanation of the main character’s previous life. The only thing shown was how he died while regretting how he couldn't protect his mother and change the miserable life they were living back then. Even so, I couldn't feel anything.. since the characters were shown right off the bat without any introduction and I still couldn't figure out who was that man, the one who killed both of them. Since there was no explanation, it was rushed. Obviously. Also, in the second chapter, the starting was nice. But in the middle, I don't know… I felt disconnected and then, I went back on track. Dear author, try to read it yourself. You'll know… there are some things you didn't explain and some things you explained but it is too fast paced. My brain couldn't keep up lol.  . 8) My best advice is that you should read some popular web novels which are related to your story, on this platform and try to improve your writing style. The quality is top-notch. Only the style is a little strange for me. Try to imitate what top authors write and create your own style based on that.  . 9) I'll give 4 stars on your writing quality and potential plot. Best of luck. Hope you succeed in making a well-balanced story in the future. No need to rush. Patience and perseverance leads to success. All the best!

Bidenator
BidenatorLv1Bidenator

Hello, I am hoping to create a platform for authors and would love for you to join. There is a 70% compensation for authors from all revenue and a contest at my webpage -> (Ze nithnovels), along with a discord at the bottom of the webpage. I hope to see you there!

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