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PANDORA-Rise of the fool

Autor: just_stay
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Resumen

"Welcome to PANDORA, a realm where the boundaries of reality are redefined, and the depth of your imagination is the only limit." Join Orion Nightshade as he navigates a world of magic and monsters after a tragic end in his previous life. Reincarnated and armed with future knowledge, Orion rises from the fool of the Nightshade family to become the Vampire Overlord. Follow his journey from loss and grief to newfound power in this captivating tale of resilience and transformation.

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9 etiquetas
Chapter 1Shadows of Alecore

Year: 2050

Location: ALECORE, Capital of the World Government

 ---------------------------------

"Breaking news from the H.Q of the World Government: The president has been assassinated. Yes, you heard right—the most-wanted criminal psychopath, also known as the 'Shinigami,' is the culprit. Authorities are scouring the city to find and eliminate him."

Locals worldwide felt overwhelmed and happy upon hearing the news. In one small country, there was a Japanese restaurant owned by a boy named Crayon Nohara.

"Sigh... Guess no customers today either. At least with the government in turmoil, I don't have to pay those bastards any taxes."

The World Government was established 15 years ago by the top five countries to conquer and enslave the rest of humanity, controlling them to do their bidding while they resided in Alecore, a haven for the leaders of the World Government.

-----------------------------------------------

Location: ALECORE, Council of the World Government

Sounds of anger and resentment echoed in the council room.

"Damn that Shinigami! Why hasn't he been caught yet? Why do you think we pay you? If you don't find and eliminate him within 24 hours, say goodbye to your job."

As the officer left the meeting, the door was slammed open.

Thud... Drip... Drip...

"AHHHHHHHH!" The council was in panic. A man wearing a demon's mask stood there, a bloodied axe in hand, the officer's severed head at his feet.

"Everyone, calm down. Don't worry; I've pressed the emergency button. The army will be here shortly," one of the councilmen said.

"Well, well, well. Not panicking in the face of death, are we? You fat pigs." Rain stabbed one of them in the heart. Blood spurted out, and he collapsed.

"Oops... sorry, fella. No hard feelings." Rain turned to the councilman.

The councilmen were terrified. "Who... who are you? What do you want? Power, money? Anything. I'll give you anything. Just let me go... please," one of them pleaded.

"Hahahahahaha, wishful thinking, I see. Do you all remember the 'Massacre'?"

"Why do you ask? That was a mistake on our part. We shouldn't have been so aggressive, but it played a crucial role in our plans to create a peaceful place for all."

"Condolences. That's all you can give me. You know why you will die today? Not because of your so-called 'world domination' motto. You used my mother and me like guinea pigs in your plan. To you, we were no more than ragdolls."

 ---------------------------------

Back to the past,

Year: 2040

Location: Uralaka, a small country in the Pacific Ocean

A small boy was sitting on his mother's lap while reading a novel called 'PANDORA'.

"Mom why do villain always lose in the end? even if villain's go through put in same amount of efforts and go through the same pain as heroes"

"Rain, that's obvious remember good always wins in the end, no matter how much evil is present in the world justice will always prevail in the world. So remember always be nice to others." saying so she patted on my head.

"Mom so if am a good boy will you give make fried chicken today?"

"No Rain eating so much Fried chicken is really bad for your health, instead you should eat some vegetables and fruits."

Rain pouted, "You always say that mother! Hmph, what is healthier than a nice chicken leg, Chicken eats healthy food and so I eat it making me healthier than it, I only want to eat chicken. "Rain asked her with sparkling eyes.

Bam! *Fist pump on head. * And Bam and Bam!

"No chicken for you Rain"

Rain, with his snotty nose and tears shook his head down.

Rumble... Rumble 

"Mom, Why is the ground shaking, its getting hot?"

"Don't worry Rain mama will always protect you." saying so she took rain and went under the bed for shelter.

Drop Boom... Boom...

'Massacre,' one of history's most powerful nuclear bombs, was dropped on the country of Uraraka to serve as a warning to all other nations of the world by the 'WORLD GOVERNMENT.'

'Flames surrounded the whole region of Rain's house, the roof hit the ground, amidst this, you could see a skeleton hugging a charred individual.'

"Cough, cough." Rain's whole face was charred, blood trickling down, as he opened his eyes. He couldn't comprehend the scene before him—remnants of bones of a woman hugging Rain. "Mom, Mom...sob... sob motherrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"Mother please come back, I won't eat chicken I will eat fruits and veggies please come back", 

That day Rain had lost his humanity, and the only goal in his life was to obliterate the council and the president one day.

 ---------------------------------

Back to the past

Year: 2040

Location: Uralaka, a small country in the Pacific Ocean

A small boy sat on his mother's lap, reading a novel called 'Pandora.'

"Mom, why do villains always lose in the end? Even if they put in the same effort and go through the same pain as heroes."

"Rain, it's because good always wins in the end. No matter how much evil there is, justice will always prevail. Always be nice to others." She patted his head.

"Mom, if I'm a good boy, will you make fried chicken today?"

"No, Rain. Eating so much fried chicken is bad for your health. You should eat vegetables and fruits."

Rain pouted. "You always say that, mother! Hmph, what's healthier than a nice chicken leg? Chicken eats healthy food, so I eat it and become healthier. I only want chicken."

Bam! Fist pump on head. And Bam and Bam!

"No chicken for you, Rain."

Rain, with his snotty nose and tears, shook his head.

Rumble... Rumble...

"Mom, why is the ground shaking? It's getting hot."

"Don't worry, Rain. Mama will always protect you." She took Rain and went under the bed for shelter.

Drop... Boom... Boom...

'Massacre,' one of history's most powerful nuclear bombs, was dropped on Uralaka as a warning to other nations by the World Government.

Flames surrounded Rain's house. The roof collapsed, and amidst the wreckage, a skeleton hugged a charred individual.

"Cough, cough." Rain's face was charred, blood trickling down. He opened his eyes to see the remnants of bones of a woman hugging him. "Mom... sob... mother!"

"Mother, please come back. I won't eat chicken. I'll eat fruits and veggies. Please come back."

That day, Rain lost his humanity. His only goal was to obliterate the council and the president one day.

 ---------------------------------

Back to the present day

"Hahahaha, today, my friends, we play a fun game. A very funny game." Rain took a gun from his pocket and placed it on the council table.

"The rules are simple. Get the gun and shoot everyone else. Otherwise, I will shoot you. And that's the only gun I have. I'm gonna count to ten. Begin."

Ten... nine... eight...

"Guys, we can all agree. As your senior, I'll take the gun and eliminate that Reaper." The senior council member moved.

Seven... six... five... four...

"Slap... Get your hands off it, old man. You don't have the balls for this. Let me handle it." A younger one snatched the gun.

Three... two... one...

He pointed the gun at everyone. "Stay away. Don't come near me, or you'll die."

One councilman tried to approach him. "Why are you doing this? Aren't we the same council?"

"Get back, old man. I'm going to become the president and rule the world. And I'll start by taking your life, Shinigami." He pointed the gun at Rain.

Click... click... click...

"Why isn't it working? Damn!"

"F*ck you, Shinigami. How could you fool us like this?"

"Oh, I never said anything about bullets, gentlemen. Now, hehehehe." Rain took out a dagger.

"NO, please don't. I have a family. We'll hand over everything to you."

"Yes, you can have the president's position and rule the world."

Bam bam...

The door slammed open, and hundreds of soldiers stood outside.

"Hands down, Reaper. Or you will be eliminated."

"Guess it's time for the main act. Hahahaha." Rain took off his mask, revealing a hideous face.

"Ew, why is his face so gory?" Some council members puked.

"Don't worry about this. Since my mother's death, I've thought of countless ways to kill you. 315,532,124 seconds and counting." Rain opened his jacket, revealing a bomb on his chest.

"NO! You don't." One soldier rushed towards Rain to decapitate him.

"Bye, guys. See you in hell! HAHAHAHA." Rain activated the bomb. Boom... Boom... Boom...

"Huh, quite a fun life. Finally, I can come back to you, Mother."

 ---------------------------------

As the echoes of destruction faded, Rain found himself adrift in darkness, haunted by memories of loss and betrayal.

But amidst the despair, a flicker of light pierced the shadows, illuminating a figure cloaked in warmth and love.

"Mama," Rain whispered, his voice choked with emotion, as he reached out to his mother's outstretched hand.

With a tender smile, she enveloped him in her embrace, her presence a beacon of hope in the darkest times.

"Carry my love in your heart, my precious son," she whispered, her words echoing across the void. "For though I may be gone, I will always be with you."

And as the abyss embraced them once more, Rain clung to her memory, a guiding light in the depths of darkness.

---to be continued

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Zero_writer · Fantasía
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KingsmanCharles
KingsmanCharlesLv3

ReviewAfter reading a few chapters of the novel, I'd like to point out some pros and cons of the book: . 1) Not an appealing cover. Any reader when browsing through the novel section, he always pay attention to the cover and title. The title name is doable but the cover is not upto standard. Please upload an attractive cover which you think is best suitable for your story. Also, make sure the title in the cover is written in bold letters with visible color font so that it is easily readable when you see it for the first time. One more thing, your synopsis is too short. Try to make it bigger and add some main points on why one should read your novel. You may use the 2nd chapter reference as a base to write your synopsis. it'll draw a lot of attraction if you mention about mc living as a character of a novel and stuff. . 2) Secondly, the writing quality is outstanding. No doubt about it. However, the writer added too much of a poetic tone in the first chapter that it felt like I was reading a poem, rather than a novel. I don't mind a description where a poetic tone is used. But it should be done moderately. . 3) Also, both chapters were excessively descriptive and informative. There is an unwritten rule among webnovel authors that the story should be about less tell, more show. For example; Instead of telling me that Adam (Imaginary Name) is feeling angry towards Rachel, show me how is he angry and how much. You can use dialogues, gestures and many things at your disposal. More importantly, the dialogues were so little that I didn't feel any emotion while reading it. Or should I say too much description of emotions were given through narration that I felt bored at times.  . 4) Please don't be offended. I'm just saying you can do better than this. Your writing quality is marvelous. You only need proper direction on how to use it properly.  . 5) There were only two chapters that I read. So, I don't know much about the plot. But reading the 2nd chapter, I knew where this was going. It was a story where the main character was transported into a novel that he read, right? . 6) If so, I can say it has a lot of potential if done right. Since it used young master reference, I'm guessing it is based on the medieval age where Kings, Dukes, Counts etc positions were in the ranking system of families. I guess, I can see it's attractiveness right there. Since this lore is trendy, I can pretty much say the book might become popular if written properly.  . 7) Anyway, the novel is good, overall. The only thing you need to change is execution. While reading the story, there were times when I felt disconnected because of so much going on and there was no explanation of the main character’s previous life. The only thing shown was how he died while regretting how he couldn't protect his mother and change the miserable life they were living back then. Even so, I couldn't feel anything.. since the characters were shown right off the bat without any introduction and I still couldn't figure out who was that man, the one who killed both of them. Since there was no explanation, it was rushed. Obviously. Also, in the second chapter, the starting was nice. But in the middle, I don't know… I felt disconnected and then, I went back on track. Dear author, try to read it yourself. You'll know… there are some things you didn't explain and some things you explained but it is too fast paced. My brain couldn't keep up lol.  . 8) My best advice is that you should read some popular web novels which are related to your story, on this platform and try to improve your writing style. The quality is top-notch. Only the style is a little strange for me. Try to imitate what top authors write and create your own style based on that.  . 9) I'll give 4 stars on your writing quality and potential plot. Best of luck. Hope you succeed in making a well-balanced story in the future. No need to rush. Patience and perseverance leads to success. All the best!

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