I reincarnated as a Haruno?!

'I was a normal person who lived in the town. After graduating high school, I took an admission in a Japanese University for cultural exchange.

The real reason was a very stupid one, though. It was... anime and manga. Anyways, after I finally cleared JLPT, there was no going back.

I started living my normal life in Japan. It was hectic at times, and gave me very little free time. I liked it...

But hey, one day I was walking down the street with a plastic bag in my hand. I wore TriPoloski and Adidas Krasovki at that time, the only thing missing was an East European accent, a bottle or two of vodka, and a few Gopnik friends.

Coming back to the topic, I was waiting to go to my apartment and take the secret thing out of the plastic bag, but before I could even finish the thought of doing so, truck-sama rushed to my way and hit me.

My body was crushed and blood splattered across the road. I even heard little girls crying. That was probably because they got scared after witnessing the gruesome scene of guts coming out and head being thrown away from the body.

Or maybe those girls just wanted something from their parents.

Still, I don't feel much about my death. Unlike many others who have died by the tyres of Truck-sama, I actually had parents who cared about me, at least until I went to Japan.

But alas, they have other sons and daughters. They'll take good care of them when they get old.

My only regret will be that I did not throw a bottle of vodka at my boss. I didn't care about my computer after my death. Meh, who would even care. If someone actually finds it, then he'll hit a jackpot. If no one finds it, then, well, it'll probably die away.

As for why I just monologued, it is because a porcelain-skinned and light blue haired woman with sharp green eyes is sitting on a good throne in front of me. She is wearing a pure white clothing with platinum ornaments.

Most importantly, she's a self-proclaimed goddess-'

"Hey, mortal. I'm not some self-proclaimed one. I'm a real one! I can even show you my identification!" She pouted.

'So, I am supposing I am here because you are bored? Or maybe because you will gain something out of it.' He thought.

"You're indeed correct, mortal. I'm bored. Entertain me." She gazed sharply at the man.

'What? Should I dance? Well, sorry to disappoint, but the only dance I know besides couple dance and another 'classified' dance, is the one that Madara did the the war.' He eyed the goddess.

"HoHo, is that so? I understand." She smiled, "You'll be sent to the Naruto world then. How about reincarnating there as a little weak girl in the warring era?

Or maybe in Konoha with Danzo always eyeing you?

How about being a hot beauty in Kumo? I'll like to see you being creampied by the Raikage...

Nay. Although all of that sounds very appealing, you'll be sent the cliche way.

Rejoice, your fate has been changed thanks to this benevolent venerable one."

"You get five wishes. The usual. Memories and Gender included in the wishes. Place and time of birth will be decided by me." She spoke.

'The first two ones are confirmed then. I wish to be born as a male and wish to retain the memories. I won't ask anything too outrageous. For the next three wishes, I want monstrous level of talent for Chakra pool growth and the same for Chakra control. For the final wish, I want extremely high luck.'

The man concluded.

"Alright. Now off you go. I hope you can someday be worthy to have a cup of tea with me." She nodded, and the man disappeared from the place.

In the Village hidden in the leaves, which was not at all hidden by leaves and was visible to everyone, in a certain house, a woman was birthing her children.

It was none other than the Haruno household. Mebuki was in pain. Her husband stood beside her and two midwives treated her. Waiting for the baby, or rather, babies, to come out.

"Push, Mebuki!" Kizashi Haruno encouraged his wife.

"I regret marrying you! Only- Only if you would have pulled it out-" She spoke in heavy breaths.

Finally, the sucker's head was out. However, Mebuki would be in labor for a LONG time. The other child was still in.

A few hours later, two babies with pink strands of hair cried, while their mother sung the two a lullaby for them to go asleep.

"The girl will be named Sakura." Kizashi stated.

"Sakura, huh, that sounds like a good name." Mebuki muttered, surprised.

"As for the boy, his name will be ChunChunmaru."

"Now that's even a better name!" Mebuki exclaimed, "How about ChinChin? ChinChin Haruno sounds so great!"

"Uwa! UwaUwa!" The baby boy started crying all of a sudden.

"Looks like he doesn't like the name... Say, what about Jugemu Jugemu Goko-" As Kizashi was about to begin the name, the baby boy started crying even louder!

"Jeez. Think of a normal name. Nevermind, his name will be Akari from now on." Mebuki smiled at him, "Haruno Akari."

The baby stopped crying and soon went asleep.

Soon, a few months went by.

'My name is Akari. Waa, such a girly name, but at least it's better than the ones they tried to give me before. Unlike those protagonists, I have not been able to start cultivating my Chakra.

Heck, I don't even know where it is! I just can't feel it. Maybe when I enter the academy, I will know.' Akari thought.

Meanwhile, Sakura was looking at her brother. She was the younger sibling.

She approached him on her fours, and started nibbling onto his cheek. Now this was the problem to be a baby again.

He tried to separate her, but her grip was just too strong. Heck, she even started licking on his cheek after he started crying due to pain!

This was the daily life of Haruno Akari, except for crying, wetting the diapers, sleeping, and crawling.

The two children grew up as the time passed by.

Akari now stood in the park where Sakura hanged out around with her new blonde friend, Yamanaka Ino.

"Yo, Taidamaru." Akari approached the lazy bum. The pinapple-head was the same as ever.

Lazy like a sloth. He, now, just like other normal days, was gazing up towards the clouds.

"Yeah, yeah, call me whatever you want. However, instead of being a Taida(sloth), I'd rather be a cloud." Shikamaru replied lazily.

"Nii-san!" Sakura waved her hand at her dear elder brother, calling him.

The blonde beside her suddenly blushed and ran away with his sister, leaving a confused Akari.

"It's such a drag." Shika muttered, looking up at the clouds.

"A-Ano, y-you're pretty!" A civilian boy came upto Akari and said with a red face.

'Heh. Only if he knew.' Shikamaru smirked, looking at the flustered civilian boy.

Akari looked at the boy dumbfounded, "Me?"

"Y-Yeah" The civilian boy nodded, while averting his gaze from the cute pink haired girl who stood in front of him. Her huge purple eyes looked at him, making his heart thump. Her face looked cute and added to the fact that she wore cute clothes, everyone would fall for her.

The only problem was that the girl in front of him was a he.

"Alright." Akari nodded.

"W-What do you mean by 'Alright'? I'm here asking you if you'll be my-"

"What?"

"My- my gi-"

"My what?" Akari asked as his bangs fell over his cheeks.

The civilian boy grew redder and redder every second. He finally gathered enough courage to mutter, "My girlfriend."

"Pfft-" Shikamaru controlled his laughter.

"Umm, I'm not into 'that'" Akari consoled the boy.

"In what?" He asked.

"Into Gay-play. Boy on Boy? Dude, I'm a boy. Wanna see my ding-dong? No homo though." Akari revealed.

Now this was the end for civilian boy. His face looked like his lover just cheated on him with his father and brother at the same time.

Disappointment. Anger. Shock. All of them at once.

'I look like Astolfo, when I see my face. That causes these problems, eh?' Akari contemplated.