RELAPSE

Blinded by the pooling tears within her lids, her fingers searched for the blankets. She covered herself with its warmth and curled up her shivering body between her knees. 

"Why does it always felt so real?"

Although she didn't experience this story in her dreams before, it was not her first time to have night terrors. After getting out of that enclave fifteen years ago, Zoe became numb as dead. She wouldn't talk or eat. 

"I thought I have already moved on from this."

Because visions of the island will haunt her as soon as she closes her eyes, she has a tendency to not sleep even for a moment. She just stared at blank space, screaming the names of her mom and dad now and then. 

It was her Uncle Bo, the father of Cayden, who received her and cared for her until she recovered and lived a normal life. She practically grew up under their roof and settled with them until she left to study abroad. 

"Cayden…"

Zoe scrambled to grab her phone while wiping the stream of tears that were smudging her face. With twitching fingers, she dialed while giving the wall of her room a pained stare.

"Hello?" a kind male voice answered her call. It was him.

"C-Cayden," she whispered in an emotion-choked cry. His voice made her miss her foster parent's family. Though not every one of them. 

"Hey! Is everything fine?" Cayden stopped organizing the reports he was carrying and focused on his caller. 

Since he knew Zoe for as long as he could remember, he could tell what she is feeling simply by the tone of her voice.

Zoe sobbed, but she cleared her throat and spoke with Cayden in a casual way. She doesn't want her cousin to get worried, especially that she was miles away from them. 

"Hey, I'm sorry to disturb you like this. Are you at work?" 

"I am. But no problem. You rarely call like this unless you're bothered by something. Are you okay?" Cayden asked with wrinkled brows. 

He filed the folders he was holding and spruced them at one side of his table. He was also working at the administration department of Cheng Medical Center. 

"Yeah, yeah." Zoe sniffed and wiped her nose. She tried to make her expression cheerful. "Actually, I am having a vacation now."

"Oh! That's new!" Cayden cheered. "I'm glad you're finally having fun." 

Ever since Zoe left their household, Cayden knew how arduously Zoe struggled to reach the top. Zoe's nose was constantly on her books for years.

"Well, yeah. Maybe a brief space to relax after being rough on myself for a decade can be considered as 'fun'," she said out loud while nodding as it reminded her of the purpose why she visited Lord Howe Island.

They haven't met each other since Zoe studied her medical course in Australia. "Are you coming back?" Cayden asked with an eager voice.

Cayden's exuberance to see her removed a large weight that is pressing on her chest. 

"Sure," she half-smiled.

"Will you stay here for good? You know a position for you is ever open at Cheng Medical Care Center," he prodded on, excited to finally meet his long-lost cousin.

Uncle Bo has consistently offered her to work at their hospital since she took up medicine. She's having doubts about whether or not to enter it once she got home.

She remembered her dream, which is the point why she called Cayden. The fear and hurt that crept in her heart because of it didn't loosen their grasp easily.

"Cayden…" Zoe replied as she shifts the subject. "Don't you really remember what happened on that island?"

She knew Cayden was younger than her and it would be impossible for him to remember anything if she can't. But she still tried. 

Cayden froze for a minute. Zoe has not talked about that in a while. He could only think of one reason.

"Are you having nightmares again?" he asked Zoe in a softer tone.

Ever since that traumatic event happened to her, she's been taking antidepressants to help her sleep well. She didn't have any frightful dreams for a long time.

This is her first time after a decade to have a nightmare again. And now it merely took an afternoon nap for her to be reminded of her past.

"Do you have regular medication intake?" Cayden inquired, bringing her back to the present times.

Cayden could be three years younger than her, but after they grew up, he's been acting like her older brother.

"I guess not." Zoe slumped. Her medicines went out of stock before she came into this isle.

 She thought she would just restock at a hospital here. She didn't realize that her visions were that quick to haunt her again.

"It could be the reason that's why it returned. Just make sure that you can take them as soon as possible. Everything will be okay." he assured her.

He was right. Maybe she was having a drug relapse.

"Yeah, right. Thanks, Cayden, as always. Say my regards to the family!" Zoe said as she hung up the phone with a cheerful note. She quickly grabbed her bag and head outside to the nearest hospital.

She will not let herself drown in that awful feeling again.

Meanwhile, Cayden placed the phone down on the table and stared blankly at the pile of papers beside him.

It is not true that he remembered. He did. But his father told him to keep mum about it for her own good, which he thinks so too. 

He also tried to know the other details as he grew up but his father was very secretive about them. 

It will be too devastating for Zoe if she knew what exactly happened in that island. 

'I'm sorry, Zoe. It's just so difficult for me to tell you." Cayden muttered with stooped shoulders and covered his face with his hands.