Chapter 11

Standing alone in the night, I find my ex standing there, looking at me like a lost puppy. I feel my words get caught in my throat as I stood there, unable to say anything.

It wasn't because I was scared, it was because I was surprised. So much. More than friends? Ha, are you kidding me? You lost the right to ask for that the moment you cheated on me.

Was I too soft on when I rejected her before? Whatever the case, I need to reject her again. I just can't imagine a future with her where I can be happy...

Figuratively slapping some sense into myself, I stand my ground.

"Amiya, what're you doing here?" I ask. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe it was just resurfaced feelings for her when she saw me.

Staring at my face, she took a moment to find the words she wanted to say.

"I— Uh, I'm sorry, I was— ...I'm sorry."

I resisted with everything in me to pet her head. She looked like a defenseless puppy just trying to find its owner. I have to admit, thinking your ex still looks cute was a weird thought.

As I'm pondering these thoughts, she finally speaks up.

"Kazuya, can we PLEASE talk our relationship through?"

The only way to describe how she sounded was...desperate. She sounded like she was at her wit's end. As if this was her last-ditch effort.

Scratching the back of my neck, I find myself awkwardly shifting around. There wasn't much that I needed to talk about anymore. I had no feelings of love towards her anymore, and even if there were any left, I wouldn't act on them. She's cheated on me already and that's not something I'm willing to forgive.

Having said that, I could tell her wanting to get back together with me was genuine. She showed eyes of genuineness, the eyes that I'm sure only I've seen.

Call it giving into lust or whatever but I decided to hear out.

"...Sure. Let's have a talk."

Her expression immediately improved. It was almost scary how fast she went from looking desperate to looking elated. She was smiling from ear to ear like a cheery schoolgirl.

"Let's go talk in a cafe tomorrow, okay? I'll text you the time and place later."

And before walking away, I saw an image of back when we were still together. She still hasn't changed a bit, huh? ...Though, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not.

She seemed happy. Hopeful.

As I enter my apartment, I feel a bit of regret. She seemed so hopeful that I would take care back. She doesn't know about Minami nor about my feelings for her.

But this is my opportunity to finally set things straight. The fact of the matter is, I'm not interested in Amiya anymore. Like I said before, I don't really even have any strong feelings about her anymore.

I did feel bad about it but hey, if she's not going to stop pursuing me, this is the best I can do.

=-=-=-=-=

Meanwhile, unknown to Kazuya, I was still nearby his apartment building. I'm sure people would think I'm creepy if they saw me. But that didn't matter.

Squatting down, I couldn't hide my happiness. My face up to my ears was completely red. I had this dumb smile comparable to a cute rat but who could blame me?! We're finally gonna be talking about us again!

Trying to calm myself down, I breathed in and out in a rhythmic pattern. I felt like a little kid again, being like this.

It's the same feeling of excitement I had when we first got together. My heart felt like it was beating faster than humanely possible, I could barely contain myself. I still remember that time when he first confessed...

It's a memory I deeply treasure.

Whispering to myself, I give psyche myself up.

"I know I made a mistake before, Kazuya. I understand that now. But don't worry, I still love you and only you...forever. That was our promise."

Turning on my phone, I go to the gallery and pull up an image of Kazuya's sister.

"I still remember what you told me, Hina. I'll never give up on Kazuya because we're perfect. Having to make things right might take a while but I know we can do it," I say to myself.

I've been contemplating what Kazuya's meant to me these past four years, and I've realized that he's irreplaceable. There are guys who look like him, there are guys who act like him, but they will never BE him.

I'm perfectly aware I'm being selfish. I know that. But I love him enough to keep trying. People can call me obsessive or creepy as much as they want, but no matter what, I will keep fighting for Kazuya.

Because he's mine and mine alone.