Session 1 And Only

The office of his therapist was decorated as expected. A black couch is in the center of the room. The carpet is a light gray color. His therapist Dr. Glover, sat in a black chair across from him. She was a petite woman with sandy blonde hair that was pulled up in a neat bun. She wore red rectangle glasses. She had blue eyes that were caring but fiery. Her nose was pronounced and angular but it worked for her look. She was looking at him with pity. Why was he even here? She was supposed to help him get over his "trauma." It was his mother's idea that he sees the doctor. He didn't feel like it would help. What was the point? He was ruined.

She had a notebook in her hand and a pen in her right hand.

"So Caleb do you want to talk?" She asked.

Caleb sighed. "So you want me to talk about the fact that I was raped?" He asked slightly annoyed.

"If that's what you choose. This is a safe space. You can talk about anything.

Caleb sighed again. "Oh God," he said under his breath.

"What's wrong let's unpack that comment." She said

"I'm just tired of everyone treating me differently...like I'm damaged. Like I have to be protected. Like... you should have just said Caleb, let's talk about the rape. He said running his finger through his hair in frustration.

"We both know that's why I'm here. The quicker I talk about this shit the quicker I can stop coming to this fucking office."

"You're angry," She said. "It's ok to be angry.

"Yes, I'm angry. My life has been turned upside down. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be the Governor's Son. I didn't ask for fucking notoriety. My dad just insists that I have to participate because we have to look the part..."Caleb said as he rubbed his temples.

How does it make you feel? She asked her patient.

I hate that my dad is a politician. It's the only thing he cares about. This whole situation happened to me because of him.

If he wasn't the Governor then I wouldn't have got kidnapped and I wouldn't have gotten rap- Caleb couldn't finish his sentence.

"I'm ruined," Caleb said.

"Ruined is such a harsh term." The Doctor said. "Le-"

"But it's true. Caleb said with conviction. "I mean my dad couldn't even be bothered to see me at the hospital," Caleb said as he looked his therapist in the eye.

"He could have been busy or he could have felt uncomfortable being in a hospital and seeing his loved one hooked up to machines." The therapist offered some rationale. I have patients who wouldn't go visit a dying parent because fear is powerful.

"No, he's embarrassed. Because I was raped. He won't see me as a man anymore. I've ruined is the perfect image of what his son should be. It would kill him if people found out or knew. It should kill him that I was violated and he caused it. Caleb said as he began to fidget.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dr. Glover asked.

Caleb looked at the doctor not sure. He wasn't sure he could trust her. He also wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it...

"Nothing you say here will leave my office. You don't have to worry about your parents, friends, or your girlfriend knowing. This is a safe space."

"It doesn't matter if I talk..it happened. I can't undo it. He just... used me." Caleb said as he stared off into space. He fidgeted with his hands rubbing them on his pants leg.

"He... hurt me," He whispered. He didn't speak for some time as if he didn't know the words to say. Should he even speak his truth? Did it matte?

"They drugged me and I was out of it but then I sorta woke up and there he was standing over me. I didn't know what to expect." He stressed. I was scared because he was different he was tall and big. He was dominating. Caleb said as tears began to fall from his eyes. He just whipped out his fucking dick. Caleb said he began to blink multiple times as he remembered the encounter.

The therapist took notes.

He put himself in my mouth. It was huge, very big. I have never sucked another man's dick before. I have a girlfriend ok. Do you understand that I have a girlfriend? Caleb stressed. "I can still remember the taste of his cum. I don't want to remember these things. He yelled. The worst part was when he entered me... It hurt so bad. He was so rough with me. He was a savage. His big rough hands touched me all over. Every part of me. Caleb said as he crossed his arms over his chest as if to shield himself from a touch. His lips kissing me and kissing my skin. Kissing places no one has ever kissed. My girlfriend hasn't even kissed. Caleb yelled.

He ruined me. I was saving myself for my future wife...for Natalie... we made vow. Caleb cried.

He took my virginity. Caleb said in disbelief. He was my first. I don't even fucking know him and he just took it and used me over and over. Caleb said as he cried.

Dr.Glover swallowed the lump in her throat. The emotions Caleb was exhibiting were understandable for a male rape victim who was penetrated. "Caleb, your vow to Natalie is still intact. It wasn't your fault that this happened to you. "You can sti-"

"Shut Up," Caleb said as he absent-mindedly began tapping his foot against the carpet.

I am no longer a virgin so my vow is broken. I'm ruined. I'm different....

How so?

Caleb sighed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it.

He couldn't look Dr. Glover in the eye.

" He touched me...between my legs and I ejaculated. He said quickly.

Caleb, Dr. Glover said with compassion. She put down her notepad and pen. "It's perfectly normal to have some type of response especially if the prostate is stimulated. I have met survivors where this has happened. It doesn't change that you were raped. You don't have to feel guilty.

"My body is different," Caleb said. "I'm horny all the time. I masturbate like crazy. I feel desire and need." He whined. I just want to fuck. He said unapologetically.

Dr. Glover looked at her patient somewhat shocked not that she would show it. Sometimes Rape victims process differently some become hypersexual and promiscuous to cope with their rape. Others have the opposite reaction and shut down, not wanting to be touched at all.

Uh ok." She said. "There is nothing wrong with healthy, safe. consensual sex -"

"Beep, Beep," the timer went off.

"Looks like times up," Caleb said standing up.

"You don't need. To rush out of here." Dr. Glover tried to get her patient to stay.

Caleb gave the doctor a salute and quickly walked out.

This was a complete waste of his time.