27. The Ballad of Hopediah and Darrel

Chapter 26 - The Ballad of Hopediah and Darrel

The group continue their journey to Newtopia, a dragonfly down. Ever since Clipper left, Darrel has been feeling sad letting him go. But he knew he did the right thing. Anne did as much as she could for him, and so did Tint.

Then one day, Hop pop took the reins while Darrel was sitting next to him. He was still under the weather, but he didn't want to bring anyone down. Suddenly, Hop pop began to hear the wheels move at a bumpy pace. The pans inside the wagon hitting against each other. He began to whistle, which caught Darrel's attention.

(On the Open Road - Original song from A Goofy Movie)

Hop pop:

Do ya need a break from modern livin'?

Do ya long to shed your weary load?

If your nerves are raw

And your brain is fried

Just grab a friend and take a ride

Together upon the open road

C'mon, Darrel! Give it a go!

Darrel:

All in all, I'd rather perform magic

All in all, I'd rather fight a toad

And the old man drives like such a snail

That I'm about to make my bail

Directly upon the road

Sprig:

There's nothin' can upset me

'Cause now we're on our way

Our trusty map will guide us straight and true

Anne:

Oh Sasha, please forgive us

We'll find you again someday

Though we may be in traction when we do

Hop pop and Sprig:

Me and Fam relaxin' like the old days

It's cooler than acid spit and acne

In a family-buddy kind of mode

I'm so hype

I think I may explode

When I see our desti, I could cry

Ya know, that's funny

So could I

Just bein' out on the open road

(Darrel, finally smiling again, creates an illusion of an ordinary freeway from Earth)

Female Country Singers:

Howdy, boys

Is this the way to Nashville?

Tow truck driver:

Watch it, Mac!

Or you'll be gettin' towed

Prisoner:

I'm in no hurry to arrive

'Cause I'll be turnin' sixty-five

The next time I see the open road

Small man and wife:

Just a week of rest and relaxation

Yeah!

Small Man:

And the odd romantic episode

Cronaxx:

Very odd!

Tint:

It's the Newtop-eye-ay or bust

Polly and Anne:

Look out, you dirtbags

Eat our dust

From now on, we own the open road!

Hop pop:

Just me and my whole family

My pipsqueak pioneers

Their wagon ventures forever westward ho

Nuns and Hop pop:

Yeehaw!

Darrel:

Could someone call a taxi

And get us outta here

To Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-0

Everyone:

Every day another new adventure

Every mile another new zip code

And the cares we had are gone for good

Darrel & Anne:

And we'd go with them if we could

Everyone:

I've got no strings on me

I'm feelin' fancy-free

How wonderful to be

On the open road!

Darrel stops the illusion just as they nearly arrive at another town. Anne turns to her boyfriend who is smiling once again. "Feeling better?" Anne asked. Darrel nodded, "Yep. I'm still going to miss Clipper, but that's not going to stop us." Anne smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "I'm proud of you."

The team continues their journey by crossing the desert regions of Amphibia. Sprig plucked his fiddle to pass the time and Anne looked over her pictures. She comes across a picture of the crumbled Toad Tower, which got her confused.

"I don't remember taking this photo of Toad Tower," she said. "Oh, that was me," said Polly. "I wanted a little reminder of how we messed those toads up." Hop pop chuckled, "We sure did."

"You know, me and Sprig were working on a song about the battle," said Tint. "Am I in it?" Hop pop asked. "It's a work in progress so maybe," said Sprig. The two prepare to play their song as Sprig begins to sing.

There was a little frog who stood for revolution. / The toads didn't like that, so they tried to execute him. / But thankfully, Anne and Darrel stepped up to take the tower. And they saved Hop Pop, who... Mostly hid and cowered. And cowered and cowered and cowered and cowered and cowered and cowered and cowered and cowered.

"Alright that's enough," said Hop pop, annoyed. Anne and Polly cheered, " Great song dude." "Yeah that was awesome." Darrel shrugged, "It's a good start, but could do less about the cowering." "Hey, I did not cower!" Hop pop stated. "Remember the time I courageously ran for mayor? Or when I stood up to those nasty tax collectors?"

"Eh, boring," said Anne and Polly. "We've all been there Hop pop," said Darrel. "But the attention felt like it was drawn to us." "Audiences want clear stakes Hop pop," said Sprig. "And action." The kids pose in action stances.

Hop pop groans in disappointment, "Feels like just yesterday, people thought I was a revolutionary hero." "It doesn't matter what other people think about what you did," said Cronaxx. "What matters is what you did and that should be enough."

"Suddenly, Hop pop spots a sign that says 'Bittyburg.' "Heads up gang! Looks like we're about to stop at our first town." "Our first town outside of Wartwood, Anne," said Darrel. "I wonder what it'll be like," she said. "Will the frogs be friendly? Will they have a bathroom?!"

"Don't get too excited you two," said Cronaxx. "Bittyburg is just your average small town." "Have you been there before Uncle?" Tint asked. "Only a couple times," he replied.

The group arrives in Bittyburg, surprising Anne and Darrel with the fact that it is an actual small town. Compared to the group's size, they tower over the citizens. Darrel was the most fascinated. "This is amazing!" He exclaimed. "A small western town? I've always wanted to be a cowboy when I was a kid."

That's when Darrel came up with an idea. He takes his staff and enters the wagon. After a puff of magical smoke, Darrel walks back out grabbing the group's attention. He is shown with brown cowboy boots with bronze spurs, and tan long pants with an amphibian belt buckle. Around his waist are two sacks of magic powder, and across his chest is a set of magic potions. He is also wearing dark brown gloves and a dark cowboy hat with holes to stick his twigs out and two dragonfly wings on the strap of the hat. His face is shown with a toothpick in his mouth and short hairs across his jaw.

Anne looks to Darrel with awe. "Ohh, Darrel you're rockin' this cowboy look." "What can I say? I love the wild west," said Darrel. Anne blushes at his western accent and the two explore the town, hand in hand.

Suddenly, Darrel and Hop pop hear a ruckus in the town. They find the townsfolk being bullied by a large toad with an eyepatch over its scar. Then, he kicks one of them across town. Anne catches him and sets him down. "Those poor bitties," said Anne. "Someone should do something," said Sprig.

Darrel looks at the toad and gives off his stern look. He didn't like seeing people get bullied, especially when they're just a fraction of the toad's size. So he decided to take a stand.

"Sprig, Tint, get your instruments ready," said Hop pop. "You may have a song to write." Darrel approaches the toad along with Hop pop, who follows him from behind.

Darrel stomps on the ground grabbing the toad's attention. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size, toad?" "My name is Judro Hasselback," said the toad. "And this here's my town. Who in the heck are you two?"

"Names Darrel Loyalitat, and I'm here to tell you to leave those bitties alone." "Or I, Hopediah Plantar, am going to teach you some manners," said Hop pop. Darrel was startled at first, but smiled when he croaked the toad down to the ground.

Hop pop pushed him all the way out of town, and Darrel threw a handful of pepper in his face. "You'll pay for… ACHOO! This," said Judro. "Not one more bitty is paying you squat," said Darrel. "Now get the heck out of their town." Judro leaves, and the town feels blessed with their heroism.

"Wow, you guys were impressive," said Anne. "Gotta say Darrel, I'm starting to like this western side of you." "I'm just tryin' to do the right thing," said Darrel. "Judro was just being a blowhard," said Hop pop. "Not like those tax toads I stood up to."

The bitties were so impressed with Hop pop that they wanted to hear his story. For the next three hours, Hop pop told his story about toad tower, and the group watched from behind the crowd. Anne and Darrel smiled at his exaggerations, calling it marketing. However, Cronaxx knew that his glory wouldn't last long.

"Hopediah Plantar and Darrel Loyalitat!" Judro called out. The two turn to see Judro with a gang of amphibians behind him. "You two done asked for it, so here it comes. This here's the Hasselback Gang!"

Judro introduces his brother Heathro, half sister Ruth, uncle Talbert. And his leader, his mama. Armed with a rolling pin, Mama Hasselback slammed it down, shaking the town. "You the frog and monster that dared throw my Judro out of town?"

Darrel stood up standing toe to toe with Mama Hasselback. "That's right, Ma'am. But your son had it comin'." "And Hop pop is going to run you all out of town too," said Baily, the little bitty. Hop pop was a bit scared, considering he exaggerated his whole story.

"Now this I gotta see," said Mama Hasselback. She takes a seat and let's Hop pop try to push her around. She tires him out, then hits him on the head with her rolling pin. "Alright, my turn," said Darrel. But just as he was about to fight them, he turns around to see his friends get tongue tied with the gang. Then, he gets blinded by Ruth's powder, which happens to be sand.

"Looks like y'all chose the wrong frog," said Mama. "Word of advice folks: Don't believe in everything you're told about heroes. After all, they don't exist."

Darrel rubbed his eyes, regaining some of his eyesight, and said, "Maybe, but that doesn't mean I can't step up and do the right thing." The rest of the Hasselback gang push the group out of town and Mama warns them not to return. Darrel tries to step up again, but Hop pop told him not to, because he let the townsfolk down with his stories. Darrel told Hop pop it wasn't right, but he wouldn't listen. He orders him to get in the wagon.

As they left the village, the group was stunned with Hop pop's decision. Sprig and Tint try to play something, but Cronaxx, magically teleports their instruments in the wagon. "I'm not proud of what happened back there," said Hop pop. "Then why are we leaving?" Tint asked. "Being a hero isn't about songs and glory, it's about stepping up and doing the right thing."

Hop pop suddenly realizes Tint was right, and stops the wagon. "No hero can walk out of their own story," said Darrel. "Let's go back," said Cronaxx. "I have a plan," said Darrel.

Back at Bittyburg, the little bitties were pleasing the Hassleback gang by offering them money and special treatment. Then, the town hears a harmonica playing in the sunset. They find Hop pop and Darrel standing in the sunset.

"Hassleback gang, we're calling you out," said Darrel. "Look who decided to show their ugly formed faces again," said Mama. "Ya back for more punishment?" "We're back to do what's right," said Hop pop. "Now get you and your family out of their town, or stay and face justice."

The sunset made the showdown feel very intense. It even made Darrel squeal on the inside. How he dreamed of western life like this. "Get 'em," said Mama. Judro charges at Hop pop, but gets smacked by his tongue. Mama snapped her fingers, and Heathro and Talbert charged at the two. Darrel stops them with a whack of his staff and casts a paralysis spell on them.

The rest of the gang watch from the top of a cliff, helping Hop pop get the advantage he needs to stop them. Tint and Sprig shoot rocks, hitting the Hasselback gang. After Darrel turns Ruth's legs into stone, the two approach Mama as she backs up slowly. The townsfolk supported their help and cheered them on.

"End of the line Mama," said Hop pop. Just as he was about to hit her with his tongue, she dodged his hit and grabbed the rock that was aimed at her head. But just as she grinned, Darrel calls out a time spell, slowing down time. He charges at Mama and sweeps her off her feet with his staff.

Just as the Hasselback gang got back up, they spotted Mama being head locked by Darrel. "Hasselbacks! Surrender now, and Mama won't get hurt." "This is what happens when you bully people Mama," said Hop pop. "Others must stand up to those who can't fight for themselves. And right now standing up to you bullies is the right thing to-"

Before he could finish off his sentence, Hop pop was hit by Mama's tongue and was pushed back into garbage. Suddenly, the bitties started getting aggressive and prepared to fight for Hop pop. Seeing how aggressive they are, Darrel backed off and let go of Mama.

Soon the group watched in horror as the bitties go nuts on the Hasselback gang and immediately depart. Anne looked to Darrel who instantly donned off his western gear. "Hey Darrel, are you okay?" Darrel smiled, "Are you kidding me? I got to live out my fantasy of being in the Old West, this is the happiest day of my life!"

Anne smiled and took Darrel's hand. "But there's only one last thing that could make this dream come true," said Darrel. "What's that?" Anne asked. "The sunset shot. Sprig, Tint, give us one final ballad."

Sprig and Tint smile and take out their instruments, "Oh, Hop Pop and Darrel stood their ground / In hopes they'd save the day / But then the townsfolk Went berserk / And so we ran away." As the wagon rode off into the sunset, Bessie neighed loud and proud. Then, Darrel took his hat and covered his and Anne's face as the two kissed.

Meanwhile, from the other side of Bittyburg, a mysterious device crushed an old skeleton and ventured off into the sunset. In the same direction the group was going.