Insight On Mai Diary

Please note that this story is solely my work and I would not take it lightly if it is copied on this site or any other sites.

I apologize deeply if the storyline is similar to anyone's life story, either dead or alive. But note that it is a work of my imagination and completely fictional





~Blair's POV~



Dear Diary,



Yeah, the worst has happened.

I don't think I'm strong enough to accept this fact.

The one thing I constantly avoided...whoa, I can't even bring myself to write in word...

I will eventually... tomorrow, maybe; if it hasn't eaten me alive before then.

But I'll have to wait till then...I'm so freaking out right now.



Love Blair.



I drop my pen and hide my diary in its secret location.

Yeah, it has a secret location. You see, in my house, it's like a military zone. No one wants the attention. So everyone does what it takes not to have it.



Dinner starts in five minutes, so I get dressed since I haven't changed since I got back from school. 



Elle is going to be making dinner tonight. Jollof rice to be precise. It's not an easy dish but it's not like she has a choice. My dad's second wife isn't gonna cook. I like to refer to her as 'a body of moving emptiness'.



During nights like this, I miss my mom.

It's not like I don't wanna stay with her, but I just can't. It's for my good. If I do and dad finds out, he's going to beat the living shit out of me. It's been a while since I got hit and I plan on keeping it that way. 



You see, my mom left since I was five. Elle was still three, so she has no memory of her. I'm pretty sure that if there weren't any pictures of mom with Elle, she would have forgotten what mom looks like. I don't remember much about mom. But what I do remember is that it all started after she left...the beating and slaps. I don't know if it's been happening since she was here, like I said I have memory of those times.



I make my way downstairs for dinner, and Elle and I wait for dad to come down before we eat. If we don't, it's definitely because we are being controlled by our mom spiritually or we are running mad, or both. 



Yeah, well according to my dad. My dad just so happen to believe my mom is a diabolical person. Almost everyday, he'll talk us how mom is a witch and how she ruined him. I don't know if he's lying or not, and I never thought about it.



Dad comes down and we all sit down around the kitchen island. We start eating and as I take the first spoon into my mouth, I knew that all hell would let loose in a matter of minutes...



"Elle, what did I ask you to cook?", Dad asked rather calmly.



Ouch. 

Turns out it's a matter of seconds.



"Jollof rice", Elle replied.



"And what is this?", Dad continued.



"Jollof rice", Elle replied.



"ARE YOU MAD? IS YOUR STUPID MOTHER ALREADY CONTROLLING YOU? HOW COME THIS FOOD IS SALTY? IS THIS HOW YOUR IDIOT MOTHER TAUGHT YOU TO COOK?!", Dad boomed as I tuned out of it all.

It's the same routine every day.



Dad asks if you're possessed, then he blames mom for all the problems in his life; including us, his children, then he calls us mad, and on and on...



Dinner ended with dad asking all of us to say our prayers and go to bed before finishing our dinner. His wife goes for her night shift; she's a nurse, and dad starts his oh-so-ridiculous prayers.



He prays a lot for some reason. I'm not saying God isn't real or anything, but I just feel that if he's real, he must be a bad person. If not, why would he do nothing while my dad hits us? Why did he let mom leave? 



It's a good thing my step mom do hit us though. But, she doesn't stop dad when he does. 



I walk upstairs thinking about my life and fall asleep.

My night is its usual routine. 



Fall asleep



Have a nightmare



Wake up on the floor due to falling off my bed



Fall asleep again and wake up to dad's ridiculous prayers.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I wake up to the sound of my alarm. Rolling to the other side of my bed, I allow my mind to travel as I think about the most random things that crosses my mind.



"I'll pass with yesterday's act. Maybe I was just being a drama queen. I mean it's not that bad; it's even too bad to be true." I console myself mentally as I think about my diary entry yesterday.



"Heck, it was really bad. I of all people knew that. I can't believe I like someone!!!" I mentally scream. 



I know it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but for me it's terrible. So get this; the asshole is like is a guy who abused me a few week back!!!



How could I?!



Why?!



Damn my stupid emotions!!!



Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me...yeah let's go with that.



I have school today and I don't want to be late. Arian and I agreed to have a quick revision before our tests.



Arian is my bestie. I've known her since I was in my first year of senior high school. We have a lot in common and even more things that aren't in common, but that's what makes us damn close. 



It's my turn to make breakfast for the family, so I get up from my bed and head to the kitchen to make spaghetti and sauce. It didn't take me long to prepare so I'm done in a few minutes. I don't usually eat before leaving the house, so I get dressed and say my goodbyes. 



I arrive at the school gate just in time. Arian was no doubt already in school, because she, unlike me, doesn't trek to school. I made my way down the school hallway to the library. And I wish I didn't. My worst nightmare was waiting for me.



"Oh, my gwad. If it isn't the bitch who thinks she owns the school," Lora, the school's witch is out to get me.



Lora is like the most popular girl in the school. So she tries to make anyone who seems like a competition miserable, of course with the help of her bitches 'Charlotte and Anne'.



"Like seriously, who the heck does she think she is?"Charlotte added. She is like Lora's personal assistant in almost everything. That's because the school nerd, 'Daniell' helps with her assignments.



"Hey bitch, Trey's hosting a party tonight think you can make it?", Anne taunts



"Yeah think you can make it", Charlotte continues



"No, she can't. She has to be home before curfew. Daddy's orders," Lora says in with funny voice.



Yeah, I know I shouldn't have heard this much, but my ears just hate me so much.



"B, you are fucking late. Again!" Arian started immediately after I entered the library. 



"Sorry A," I reply



"What's your excuse?"



"Lora's bitches attacked me because of you know what"



"Babe, they have loads of reasons to attack you"



"Yeah, thanks. I feel a lot better knowing that," the sarcasm in my voice was very deep.



"You know you love me" 



"Unfortunately, I do"



We spend the next couple of minutes reading before going for the chemistry test.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I woke up quite late and my step-mom was in my room looking into my face. She looked worried. Well a little angry, but so worried. But there was a silence that stretched like an elastic rubber band. This is weird...



"Take a bath and come downstairs" She leaves my room after. 



"Maybe she isn't angry at me"



I make my way to the bathroom.

Suddenly someone barged into my room slamming the door so hard that I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat...



"Hey B, guess what?", the intruder whose voice I recognized to be Elle, says in utter excitement.



"Well, that's something you don't see every day", I replied in my early morning monotonous voice. 



I'm not a morning person.



"What is?" she asked a little confused.



" You being all happy at this time of the day", I replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.



"Cut the crap and guess, B", she whines, getting a little impatient.



"Hey, chill"



"How many guesses do I get?", I ask.



"Two, just two"



"Um...okay, Enoch asked you out?"



"Yeah, no. That's a big no"



"Dad traveled and won't be back till I'm eighteen"



"As great as that sounds, it's a 'no'"



"Then I'm out of ideas. Spill"



"Mom's here!"



"Huh?"



"Mom, from the pictures. She's downstairs"



"That's probably why your dad's wife asked me to dress up and come downstairs." I say as I try to keep the tension out of my voice. The last time she was here, Elle was home. It's was just me and (dad's wife) my step mom. When Dad found out, he beat the living shit out of me. I still have the scars.



"She is also your dad's wife you know"



"As if", I replied, allowing the hated to sip through my voice.



" Whatever. Be quick, you don't wanna be late "



I got dressed and went down for who knows what. Today's the final day of my test and I've got to get early to school for my last-minute revision.



"Hey Blair", my mom greets me as soon as my foot hit the last stairs.



" Morning mom. I can't talk now. I need to be in school in about fifteen minutes" 



"Can't you even spare five minutes?", she asks pleadingly



"It's a fifteen minutes walk mom", what I need is for her to leave so I don't get in trouble.



"I can drive you", she offered with a hint of hope sipping through her voice.



" No, mom. Thanks for stopping by."

With that, I race out of the house.



~A/N~



Ciao y'all.



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Bläïr änd whïtë