I Level Up by Pooping!

I never thought a day could go so wrong so fast. It started off just like any other day at Tachibana High, a sprawling campus known for its lush green fields and state-of-the-art facilities. Despite its modern look and enthusiastic teachers, for me, Tachibana was more of a battleground than a school.

"Hey, Kazuo! Tried running yet? I bet you'd jiggle all the way to the moon!"

The shout came from Mark, the self-appointed leader of the jock squad. His voice cut through the morning chatter like a knife, and laughter erupted around me. I tightened my grip on my books and kept walking, my eyes glued to the floor.

Mina, always the kind soul, fell into step beside me. Her voice was a soft contrast to the harsh laughter still ringing in my ears.

"Kazuo, you okay?"

I shrugged, not trusting my voice. "Yeah, just another day," I mumbled.

But as we turned down the main hallway, the crowd parted like the Red Sea, and there she was—Hina, walking toward us with her friends. She was the kind of girl who could light up the whole room with her smile, and just seeing her made my heart do somersaults.

Suddenly, a voice from the back of the crowd pierced the moment like a siren.

"Kazuo likes Hina!"

The hallway erupted into a cacophony of laughter and jeering. My face turned beet red. I looked away, hoping to find a crack in the floor to swallow me whole.

Hina's eyes met mine for a fleeting second, filled with a mix of pity and discomfort, before she quickly looked away and hurried off with her friends.

The final bell couldn't come soon enough. I couldn't wait to escape. But the universe had other plans for me. As I made my way to the school gates, hoping to disappear into the crowd, Mark and his goons blocked my path.

"Where you rushing, big guy? Off to eat your feelings?" Mark shoved me lightly, snickering.

"Just leave me alone," I said, trying to sidestep him, but he shoved me back into the lockers.

"What's the rush, Kazuo? Got a hot date with a double cheeseburger?"

Their laughter was a physical weight on my chest. I pushed past them, breaking into a run the moment I was clear. I didn't stop until I was far from their mocking faces, my side aching, breath ragged.

At home, the day's humiliations replayed over and over in my mind. Desperate for a change, I remembered the laxatives I had bought. It was a foolish idea, but in that moment, it seemed like the only solution. I stood there in my room, staring at the small box labeled as a 'quick fix' for weight loss.

"Should I really do this?" I thought, turning the box over in my hands. With a heavy sigh, I tossed it onto my bed and fired up my computer instead. Maybe a distraction would help.

I clicked on my favorite dating sim, hoping to escape into a world where I was charming and svelte, and where Hina—or at least a girl like her—could actually fall for me. But as the game progressed, even my virtual self couldn't catch a break. Just as I was about to win over the game's heroine, a new character—a ridiculously handsome and muscular guy—swooped in and stole her away. It was the in-game equivalent of a love triangle gone wrong, and I was on the losing end.

"NTR'd by a digital Adonis... Great," I muttered, slamming the keyboard a little harder than I intended.

The sting of rejection, both real and virtual, was too much. I glanced at the box of laxatives, the silver foil catching the light of my screen. "What's the worst that could happen?" I said aloud to no one. With a mix of anger and desperation, I tore open the box and swallowed the pills, not really prepared for the consequences.

Feeling suffocated by the walls of my room and the laughter still echoing in my mind, I decided to go for a walk in the park. Maybe some fresh air and new surroundings would help calm my nerves. As I wandered through the familiar paths, the cool breeze felt good against my skin, a temporary relief from the turmoil inside.

But halfway through the park, a sudden cramp seized my stomach. It was more than just a little discomfort—it was an urgent, overwhelming need that sent me into a panic. The laxatives had kicked in full force, and I was nowhere near a bathroom. Frantically, I looked around, searching for any kind of public restroom.

I spotted a public restroom across the street. Without thinking, I darted toward it, dodging pedestrians and cyclists. Just as I reached the other side, I bumped into a sharply dressed man. A yakuza, judging by the tattoos peeking out from under his cuffs and the icy glare he gave me.

"Hey, watch it!" he growled.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't—" I started, but the words were cut short as he pulled out a knife and stabbed me. The shock was immediate, the pain a delayed echo that didn't fully register until I was falling, my knees hitting the pavement hard.

"At least I'm not dying because of something cliché like getting run over by a truck—" I gasped out the words, the irony bitter on my tongue.

Then I heard the screech of tires.

Darkness overtook me before I could finish the thought.

When I awoke, I was no longer on the cold pavement but lying on something soft and glowing. A beautiful woman stood over me, her expression amused.

"Well, that's a new one," she chuckled. "Dying on your way to the bathroom? How utterly human."

I blinked, disoriented. "Where am I?"

"The afterlife," she replied with a grin. "I'm a goddess who guides souls like yours. And I have just the thing to make your next life... interesting."

As her laughter echoed around the strange, luminous space, I had a feeling that whatever was coming next in my life, it couldn't possibly be any worse than today. But knowing my luck, I was probably wrong.