Yuri On (Thin) Ice

"Ooouu, breaking into a woman's apartment. You sure are quite the pervert aren't you?" Wade wiggled his eyebrows as Peter landed on Yuri's balcony with Wade in his arm. Peter just looked at him and dropped him. "Ouch! Hey, what's the deal Spidey!"

Peter smirked under his mask as he tried to open the glass door without breaking it.

"Rude. Anyways, how the hell do you even know where she lives and why are you so sure that she is the one who hired me?" Wade asked as he entered the room after Spider-Man opened the door.

Peter searched around the house and to his annoyance Yuri wasn't there.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!"

"I'm not ignoring you, you man-child." Peter rolled his eyes as he went towards the telephone and played the recorded 'Leave a message' for Wade to listen. "Does that answer your second question?"

"Shit! It is her!"

"And to answer your first question. Her whole bio-data is in the NYPD's database which is all that hard to access if you know what to do." Peter shrugged.

"Rad."

Peter patted Wade's back and began checking the room.

"I'll search the rooms and see if I can find any clue to where she might be headed to."

"Okay! I'll search the fridge and see if I can find some... clues." Wade said as he rubbed his hands. Wade waltz towards the kitchen and made beeline for the fridge but tripped onto something and faceplanted on the floor. "Motherfuc-Oh... Oh... Ohh shit!"

Wade's eyes widened.

"Spider-Man!"

"Not now Wade."

"Spider-Man!"

"Shut it! Oh! I think I know just where she's headed to."

"Does whatever a spider can! Spins a we-Goddamn it Spider-Man! There's a body lying here for crying out loud."

Peter rushed towards the kitchen as soon as he heard that.

"Wha-Oh shit." Peter echoed Wade's sentiment.

A man in his late 40s laid on the floor behind the kitchen counter. He was wearing a neat two-piece tuxedo. There was a gunshot wound in the middle of his forehead but oddly enough, no puddle of blood.

"Can you believe it? My employer turns out a be a killer!"

"Why are you acting like this is all new to you? You used to work for William Stryker." Peter commented as Wade froze. Peter inspected the body and hummed. "The sadist bastard aside, Yuri did kill him."

"What-How can you be so sure?"

"This guy wasn't even killed here." Peter said. "This guy was already dead when he was shot in the head. You see this yellow flesh, around the bullet hole area? There's also the fact that there isn't a puddle of blood or blood sprays on the walls or the floor, that means he wasn't even killed here in the first place."

"Well... She could have just wiped it clean."

"Wipe the floor but leave the body... out open in the kitchen?"

"Umm... good point." Wade nodded. "Why do you think he was shot somewhere else?"

"... Aside from the absence of blood stains the mud on the sole of his shoes is still moist. That means..."

"There should have left footprints!"

"But-"

"There are none!" Wade exclaimed. "Oh my god! It's like you are a detective!"

'I used to know a person who was the assistant of a high functioning sociopath.' Peter mused in his head. "I'm not. I just-Shhh. Get down and be quiet."

Peter suddenly paused Wade down behind the counter and he tip toped to the front door.

Peter jumped just in time and attached himself to the ceiling above the door as it opened and one shady guy stepped inside and inspected it.

"Come in and don't make any noise." The man said waving the gun he had in his hand.

As he said that 3 other guys stepped while carrying a body bag.

"Carefully put it down." The man said and his henchmen did as they were told. The man opened the zip of the bag and inside was a female in her mid-30s of mixed race. She was wearing a red party dress and black high heels.

Retrieving the empty bag the man aimed his gun at the unconscious woman.

"Boss do we have to kill her? I mean look at her?! She looks so slutty in that dress! Can't we have a go first?!" A fat pig like man said almost drooling.

"Shut it Ork!"

'How fitting.' Peter almost snickered.

"We need to do it quickly and get out or Silvermane won't be happy!"

'Silvio Silvermane Manfredi' Peter mused as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Of course, he wasn't just watching the scene but also recording it so that he could enjoy it later.

The man re-aimed at the lady and was about to shoot but a web suddenly attached itself to the gun and before he could react it was snatched away from his arms.

"Sorry to spoil your fun. But I've seen enough." Peter said leaping down onto the nearest henchman and slammed his head into the wall with enough force to give it permanent brain damage. He didn't give the remaining three any chance to react as he shot two of them in the leg with the silenced gun and kicked the leader in the gut sending him flying into the table.

He shot two more bullets in both of their arms and grabbed them by the neck throwing the gun aside. The men scratched at his hand but Peter just smirked evilly. He threw one into the wall and gave the other one a chokeslam. Both were now unconscious and by the looks of it, they weren't going to wake up anytime soon. The leader got up groaning but before he could gain his bearing Spider-Man grabbed the man by the neck and pinned him to the wall.

"W-Who are you?" The leader stuttered.

Peter looked up at him dramatically while tilting his head giving the man a glimpse of his scary smirk.

"I am vengeance." He said in a deep, gruff voice. "I always wanted to try that."

"You... You are Batman?"

"Nah. I'm just your deadly neighbourhood Spider-Man." Peter smirked and threw the man outside the window.

"Ahhhhhhhh-oof." The man screamed in terror as he was falling but Peter webbed him up and attached him to the balcony letting him hang from the building.

"Man! That was awesome!" Wade said pulling three '10' signboards. "I give you 30 out of 30! 10 for action, 10 for style and 10 for yeeting the sob out. Gyahaha!"

Peter just smiled at Wade's attitude and pulled his phone out shaking his head.

"Hello. This is Captain Stacy. Who are you and how did you get my private number?"

"Good evening Captain Stacy. I'm Spider-Man.* As soon as he said that he heard frantic shuffling noise. "There has been a situation."

"What happened?"

"Head to Yuri Watanabe's apartment. There is a dead body of a man and an unconscious woman in her appartment."

"What?!" George yelled in shock. "Look this isn't a joke-"

"That's what I'm saying. This isn't a joke. The men responsible for the dead body and the unconscious woman are also in her appartment. Well, three are. One is... hanging out, chilling from the balcony."

"Oh, God! Please somebody help me! Let me down!"

"Yep, chilling."

"I wanna go home! Mommy!"

"Anyways come fast. I've webbed them up and so make sure you arrive in two hours caus if not then... You'll probably miss the pseudo-leader and his confession to his nefarious sins."

"Okay! I'll be there in 10 mins!"

"Yuri Watanabe is missing from her apartment so, me and... my associate will go search for her as we believe she is in danger. I'll leave a pen drive containing the proof in one of the henchmen's pockets. Don't lose it." Peter said as Wade looked at him with sparkling eyes.

"Why do you think she's in danger?" George asked in worry.

"Why? It's the Maggia she's butting heads with? Do you need another reason as to why?" Peter asked.

"Oh shit."

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Sorry for being late and the chapter being short. Fever and stuff, ya know. The omicron cases here have shot up and now I'm sick + paranoid.

Anyways, reality aside... May is in the harem!

Congratulations to all my degenerated minions you have won the war!

Saucy stuff will be coming soon. Do let me know your opinion on lemon scenes and ideas so that I can make it... raunchy. Lol.

Thanks for reading.