Glass lotus

Song: I'm not the only one by Sam smith

I sip my green tea as I watch my son Liam play in the garden. I haven't been feeling well lately and fighting with my husband Nickolas isn't helping. The tea isn't as nice as the one my mom makes but at this point in my life I'll take anything just so I can relax.

I sigh as I look at the peach moonstone lotus ring my husband gave me on our first date ,he was my first everything first love ,kiss you name it.

We were high School sweethearts so it was no surprise when we got married. Nick and I got married at a very young age. I just graduated from college as a business major at 22 and he was 24. My father was against the whole thing; he never liked Nick.

I was meant to take over my father's company being the only child but at that time Nick's father's company was on the verge of default. So his company and mine signed a contract and merged the two companies together. I didn't tell my family and when they found out my father disowned me and for the past 8 years since I married Nick my father and I haven't spoken or seen eye to eye.

"Liam, careful sweetie, don't play near the thorn bushes!", I say to my son. For three years after I got married I've been trying to get pregnant but couldn't. I've tried everything and seen countless doctors but they all couldn't find the problem. So my husband and I adopted Liam ,he was like a ray of sunshine.

Nick and I have been fighting for the past two months and it's getting depressing.Liam misses his dad and I miss my husband. We can't even have a conversation like normal couples do. We were fine and suddenly he changed. I don't know what's going on but he can't be letting his frustrations out on his family so I'll talk to him when he gets home.

"Mom, why doesn't daddy play with me anymore?  Is he upset because I coloured on his papers? I said I'm sorry",Liam says while pouting. He's just a cute little thing with his raven black hair and green eyes. I remember when Nick found drawings all over his papers and just went all crazy. I tried calming him down but he hit me. It was the first time he ever did it and I'll never forgive him for it.

"No sweetie daddy has just been busy lately that's all,but tell you what I promise to talk to him tonight but in the meantime let's go check if Katherine is done with the cookies", I see he jump up and down before running inside.katherine is our maid and was Nick's nanny so I hired her to help me around the house and look after Liam.

I wait patiently for Nick to come and I must say he's really late. I look at the clock and it says 11 pm. I try calling him but he's unresponsive. As I'm about to head to bed the door opens and he walks, George our Butler offers to serve him dinner and he says he's already eaten.

He acts like he hasn't seen me and starts heading up the stairs,he's been sleeping in the guest room for the past two months."Nick wait I need to talk to you", he looks at me and sighs"about what lotus I'm really tired and I'm not in the mood to fight with you".

" Really Nick are you going to act like nothing's wrong you've been cold towards Liam and I, what's going on?did I do something wrong? Why don't you talk to me so I can fix it ,I miss you,I miss my husband and Liam misses his Dad Nick. Talk to me, I'm sorry if I did anything wrong but can we try and fix it ?fix our family", I say as tears roll down my eyes.

He laughs and says" eight years lotus , eight years with no child how do you think I feel when my friends talk about their kids we've tried everything I know there's nothing wrong with me you're the one who is barren you're an in complete woman!",he yells and the words hurt like a rusty blade been driven in my heart but I want to fix my family and I take deep breaths and say"what about Liam he's our son and don't you think you're being harsh you don't know how much I suffer as well knowing I'll never experience the joy of being a mother,I go through that all alone and I have no one to turn to or comfort me", I say as calmly as I can.

" What son you mean that bastard who was a product of junky and an unknown man he's not my son he can never be,you know what I can't do this anymore I have a son with another woman and I want a divorce it's what's best for us!",he says and I feel like a rug has been swept under my feet. My whole world comes crashing down and suddenly it's getting harder to breathe.``w-what do you mean?",I stammer but manage to say." You heard me, I have a two month old son with another woman and I want to raise my son in a family so I want a divorce!".

" Please Nick I'm begging you let's try and work things out you can't do this to Liam and I", I say as I'm on my knees and beg him but he doesn't even look at me and pushes me and I land flat on my butt just then Liam rushes in and shouts"daddy don't hurt mommy I'm the one that drew on your papers and not her, I'm so sorry daddy please forgive me",my baby cries and my heart shatters." I'm not your father you little twit don't you ever call me that!", Nick yells and my baby and I get up and slap him right across the face"don't you ever talk to my son like that you son of a bitch he's just a child!",I yell at him .He slaps me so hard I fall to the ground", Yes he is a child but he isn't mine!",he shouts at me and walks away.

I stay there on the ground and sob while my little boy sits on my lap and tries wiping my tears away, he's my sunshine and he gives me hope and for him I'll be strong.

Nick later walks in with he's bags and tells George to get his car ready,my boy runs to him and hugs his legs and says"please daddy don't go I promise I'll be good and I'll never draw on your papers again please don't go",my little one cries for his father but Nick doesn't even spare my son a glance and pushes him away."I'll send the divorce papers sign them and release us both," he says and walks out.

I get up, pick my son up and head up to my bed." Mama I'm sorry it's my fault daddy left",I hear my son say and it hurts." No don't ever think that way it is not your fault, you're daddy chose to leave now it's just you and I till forever I love you to the moon and back,"he finishes my sentence for me I smile and tell him to go to bed and that he can skip school tomorrow.

How I'll leave from now own without the love of my life is a mystery,I love Nick so much, I'll try and talk to him tomorrow at his office maybe he would have cooled off and I can convince him, maybe he'll even tell he didn't mean to hit or say those words and is just having a mental break down,yes it's just a mental break down he loves Liam and I. I look at the ring and kiss it I then kiss my son's forehead and he snuggles closer to me. I'll talk to Nick and everything will return back to normal with that thought I fall asleep.