Game Of Conquest

My chest tightened, as my heart raced. After years of just watching her, i couldn't do it anymore. I wanted more. I want to hold her hand, caress her hair, and stare into those deep blue eyes. Was that too much to ask for? So I worked up all the courage I could muster, and approached her.

"i-I'm arima. sorry to bother you, but would you please go out with me!?"

I look into those boundless eyes, sweat had begun to form on the back of my neck. Hands shaking with anticipation as the seconds tick by. Her white hair was such a contrast to the setting sun that I had begun to ease up. Following which she smiled, yet it seemingly held something else...it couldn't be.... disgust? Why would she have that? I'm not repolsive, or at least i dont believe I am.

"He really did it, I thought you were joking when you said he probably had a crush on you. To think he really went and confessed. Haha, is there something wrong with his brain?"

A tall girl walked out from behind a tree, followed by a group of other people. I don't think I recognize them.

"Right? I was a little suprised when you said he had asked you to come out here, haha, I got it on camera, you should take a look at this. The look on his face when he said it, *gha, it's to much."

my brain seemed to draw a blank, where they with her? She told them I asked her to come out here? That smile on her face seemed a bit less enchanting then I remembered it.

"I-I.."

"Arima right, you really messed up this ti.."

"Hahaha, Arima...oh arima, I appreciate your sentiment, but for reals? Come on dude, Did I ever give the impression that I liked you? Just because I occasionally smile at you? or make small talk? Thats all it took? You really don't have any friends, do you?"

I could feel my heart shattering, the image of a gentle and kind girl had faded like dust in the wind. Maybe I had thought too much into it, I opended myself up to her, but i guess it was just me. At the very least she didnt tell them abou.."

"He probably gets it from his mom right, didn't you say he would talk about all the guys she had over late at night. Haha, it's in there genes to be easy."

So she even told them about that. Ha...Ha...Hahaha, I'm an idiot. Why would I tell her about that... why did I tell her anything.

Looking at the group laughing and pointing, at the girl who's smile had brought me hope, now it only brought... A sharp pain within my chest.

I slowly turned around to make my way back into the school. Climbing stair after stair, I made my way to the rooftop. Of course the group had followed me, making jokes, and twisting the knife futher. I opended the door of the rooftop. Taking in the contrasting scenery, of day fading, to make way for night to creep across the sky. Step after step, the laughing seems to have died down as I approach the edge. The wind flows through my hair, bringing the nights cold yet comforting chill. I turn to stare at the faces that followed me here. I reflect across my life. monochrome, stale, sad... it didn't matter. I smile at them, them who took the last light I held dear, them who unknowingly snapped the spiders thread, leaving me in my world of torment. There smiles have faded, as the last of my tears had. I hold my smile, as I gently lean back, the wind drowning out the sounds of panicked gasps and... pounding steps. Yet as I fall, a hand reaches out from that ledge... Haha, I had always held out my hand towards my ceiling, wishing beyond all odds, someone would take my hand, and pull me away, explode my life with colors, but it never came. And as that hand I always wished for, I did the same, ignoring that hand, reaching for hope. I fell further, silently... that same bittersweet smile plastered across my face. I look up at her, her white hair flowing in the wind, her blue eyes locked with mine. Perhaps I was thinking to much again, but I felt like there might have been a miniscule amount of hope in me, to just reach out and take her outstretched hand. Yet I know what awaited me, the life I had to return to, was no life at all. And with these thoughts, I closed my eyes, cutting the gaze between us, cutting the hope I held.

God, if you are to exist, why have you abandon me? Why have you cast such a soft silk web, if it too were just going to burn in the flames you cast it in? If i am to be reborn... explode it with color, ya bastard.