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Flawed Enchantress

Autor: BaeVida
Fantasía
En Curso · 158.6K Visitas
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  • 4.7
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Resumen

A beautiful and powerful enchantress found a girl who was as ugly and unpleasant to the eyes. Feeling pity for the girl, she sought to heal her scar and make her pretty again. Unknown to her, she was under a curse and the moment she healed her, the girl became extremely beautiful but she became ugly. Panicked and frustrated, she tried healing herself but to no avail. In her desperate and frantic moment, the girl pushed her off the mountain peak where they stood and fell to her death. A thousand years later, she reincarnated. In the modern day, where witches and magic existed but in secret, came a prophecy. A beautiful and powerful enchantress would be reincarnated into the body of the Grand Chief's new born daughter. Being a reverenced being, the Grand Chief was happy that his daughter got the honor. But all was not as it seemed. What would this new life of her's be... Join her as she rise from her failures and set backs to be who she truly was and find the one who cursed her in this new world. -------------- "What is the meaning of this Grand seer? You told me the beautiful Enchantress was going to be reincarnated into my new born daughter. But what I see is a child not worthy of been seen with the eyes." "I don't know what happened, it is as I saw." "Then you saw wrong. She would not be shown to the world, she would live in hiding. I cannot show a flawed daughter, it would ruin my image and standing." ******** "She is just good for nothing. She is flawed in every way possible." "She lacks self control in the highest and extremely curious. Not to talk of, her powers are a joke. She brings disaster anytime she attempts to use magic." "Physically flawed, personality flawed and powers flawed, Enchantress my foot... " Cover page credit goes to Kiiara, follow her on discord @Kiiara#9809 Kindly support this book, vote, comment and leave a review. You can message me on discord @ #BaeVida7167 Join my discord for update and discussion. https://discord.gg/xhyKs2 Thanks.

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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

To start of, I want to point out how intriguing the synopsis and the storyline are. It's easy to be hooked. They're interesting as well. I'm very curious about the curious. I wonder if it could only be cured by passing it to another. Because even in reincarnation, it followed the Enchantress. Compelling premise. The flow of the story's events are decent. The conversations are entertaining. The development of events isn't fast or slow, enough just to spike more anticipation for the next one. Lastly, I have a few constructive criticisms. Mainly one--which is the lack of certain details in this story. For instance, Chapter 1: > I'd like to say that 'beautiful lady' is subjective. Might be better if there's added features about this woman. Her hair is written but what makes her beautiful? Just her hair? What about her eyes? Does she has a small button nose? Plump or thin lips? I say this because describing her adds more allure. It adds to her beauty other than just saying 'stunning' and 'extremely beautiful.' > I understand the young girl has a scar but I can't imagine how it looks. Is it just one long gash from right temple to left cheek? Half of her face? Add a little more detail. > This also applies to the other characters described as 'ugly' 'disgusting' etc... or just an ordinary character. This is something I used to forget myself as a writer so I often point it out now. I hope I was able to explain why it's important in contributing for good writing. For the rest, Since this is a Fantasy story, try to work on world building. I can't picture the kind of culture this setting has. Key features are buildings, physical attributes, clothes... a writer can see these clearly in their head but remember that readers can't see them. They don't have to be all stated but pick the ones that should stand out. I really see this story has potential so I hope it can reach to even greater heights. Good luck and ganbatte!

Gabriella_x
Gabriella_xLv13

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