48

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT:

The other kids at the Academy had been giving him funny looks lately.

Naruto was used to getting funny looks. Most of them were mean looks or sometimes scared looks. But these looks... weren't. Ko-ane looked like that sometimes. She called it her 'thinking face'. Naruto wasn't sure why the other kids had thinking faces on when they were looking at him. He didn't know why they weren't being mean like they used to, either. The older kids hadn't called him a monster or a demon or a brat since the day he'd told his class about what happened to Ko-ane. Well, not much, anyway. It made him feel... agitated. He was used to them being mean. He knew how to deal with them being mean. He didn't know how to deal with them not being mean.

He was dragging his feet as he walked into class, because he knew Iruka-sensei was gonna be mad at him. He hadn't gone to the Academy since Ko-ane had left, because he had been sad and just wanted to curl up on her sleeping mat, with his face in her pillow, until Tama-neechan had come and dragged him out to help her scare a man into telling her where he'd hidden his stash by using the burning-fire-red chakra and snarling.

The man had peed his pants and cried a lot, which made Naruto feel a bit bad, but it was "just business" as Tama-neechan said. Tama-neechan had been really happy afterwards and taken him back to Madam Ai's where she made them both ramen and then they curled up together on her mat until he went to sleep and when he woke up she told him she spoke to Kotone-neesan and got permission for him to stay at Madam Ai's until Ko-ane came back.

Naruto loved staying at Madam Ai's. It smelled like perfume and incense, which made his nose itch, but the pretty neesans were all so nice to him and he would help out with their chores in exchange for cuddles, like doing their laundry and helping with their sewing and doing their hair and Momo-neesan had even taught him how to cook!

It was Kotone-neesan who had scolded him for missing so many days of the Academy and gently pushed him into returning, even though he didn't want to. Kotone-neesan was scary sometimes, but in a nice way– a bit like a mother would be, Naruto liked to think.

He slunk into the Academy as the bell rung, flopping down at his desk and wishing he was back at Madam Ai's or with Tama-neechan. Tama-neechan didn't do hugs much, but she gave good hugs when she did and he really wanted a hug right now.

"Naruto," Iruka-sensei said and Naruto's head jerked up as he realised he'd missed his name during roll call. Iruka-sensei was looking exasperated. "Good to see you're back," he said sarcastically and Naruto just shrugged. Iruka-sensei sighed. "Stay behind during break," he ordered before continuing down the roll.

Naruto barely paid attention during the class. His thoughts were spiralling in a way that made his chest feel all tight and heavy, like he couldn't breathe properly. He didn't want to be at the Academy, but he didn't want to let Kotone-neesan down either.

He didn't even notice that it was break time until Iruka-sensei placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched violently, a growl escaping him as he lashed out, attempting to claw at the person who'd dared put their hands on him. Iruka-sensei yanked his hand back in time to avoid getting cut and Naruto realised for the first time his teacher was sitting at the desk beside him. He flushed slightly, ashamed at his complete lack of awareness.

"Sorry sensei," he mumbled.

"It's okay, Naruto-kun," Iruka-sensei said gently, "I shouldn't have tried to touch you without your permission, especially when I could see you weren't paying attention."

Naruto's chest warmed a bit at that, some of the nasty tight, heavy feeling easing away. It felt nice that Iruka-sensei hadn't told him it was bad, how he had reacted. That it was okay.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Iruka-sensei asked, still speaking gently. "I can see that you're upset."

Naruto hesitated, looking around the classroom. There weren't many people who'd stayed inside. Uchiha Sasuke had, of course; he didn't ever go outside or do anything fun anymore. Not that Naruto blamed him. There were also some civilian kids– Naruto recognised one of them from the orphanage. She always spent breaks studying. Nobody here was the type to spend their time gossiping, so Naruto decided to be honest with Iruka-sensei.

"It's my sister," he admitted. "I'm scared."

"You're scared?" Iruka asked, sounding concerned. Naruto nodded miserably.

"I'm scared she's gonna get hurt," he explained. "She's doing her Chūnin Exams an' she's so far away an' she might even die."

He shuddered at the thought. He didn't know what he'd do if Ko-ane died, but he knew it wouldn't be good.

Iruka-sensei's eyes widened. "Oh Naruto," he said, "can I hug you?"

Naruto thought about it. "Okay," he decided and Iruka-sensei leaned forwards and gently wrapped his arms around him. Naruto sniffled a bit and leaned forward, into the hug.

"If you ever need to talk, you know you can come to me, right?" Iruka-sensei asked gently. Naruto... hadn't known that. But as he thought about it, he nodded slowly. Because Iruka was nice. Iruka never smelled sour. Iruka gave good hugs.

Iruka-sensei eventually let go and Naruto's chest felt less tight and heavy, his breathing coming easier now.

"Your sister, do you think she's strong?" Iruka-sensei asked, and Naruto nodded.

"She's so strong," he told his teacher.

"And she's smart?" Iruka-sensei asked and Naruto nodded even harder.

"She's the smartest ever," he said proudly.

"Then she'll be fine," Iruka-sensei said firmly.

He sounded so sure and Naruto found he could believe him.

Classes were easier after that. Naruto actually paid attention as Iruka-sensei talked about maths, which wasn't very interesting but was still important and really useful when he was trying to figure out how much money to spend on groceries so he had enough left over to buy Ko-ane's special face paints, and when lunchtime came, he actually got up to go outside, instead of moping at his desk. To his surprise, when he climbed up his favourite tree to hide among its branches, away from all the other kids, someone else followed him up.

"Sasuke?" he asked, confused. "Why're you following me?"

Sasuke scowled at him. "How old is your sister?" he demanded. Naruto blinked, confused.

"She's my twin," he said. "She's my age. Actually, she's younger. Not by much! But she's heaps smarter 'n she always took care of me, so I've always called her my big sister."

Sasuke's scowl deepened, his dark eyes furious. "How?" He demanded. "How is she already a genin, if she's our age? How is she competing in the Chūnin Exams already? How is she already so strong and we– and you're so weak and stuck here!?"

Naruto automatically scowled. "Ko-ane didn't ask to be stronger than me!" he snapped. "She didn't even want to be a shinobi! That bastard Danzo made her be a shinobi! It's his fault! He took her and he did horrible things to her and made her do horrible things!"

Sasuke's angered, frustrated scowl had slipped into a muted rage when Naruto said Danzo's name. "You're talking about the Elder," he said, "Shimura– the eye thief."

Naruto felt his own anger rise at the mention of the man who had taken his sister. "He made her strong," he said, a slight growl to his voice, "but he was a bad man– he hurt her. He hurt lots of people."

"The Hokage gave me back the eyes Shimura stole," Sasuke said, and Naruto was slightly alarmed to see that his classmate's eyes looked wet even as they burned with hate. "Or he said he did. I don't even know anymore. I don't know if my father had his eyes stolen, or my mother. I never saw their bodies. They were already– they were already cremated by the time I left the hospital."

Naruto wasn't sure what cremated meant. He wasn't sure why Sasuke was telling him this either. Maybe it was because he was the only one here who wouldn't tell anyone else– or maybe because he'd also had something precious stolen from him by Danzo. Only, it didn't seem fair that Naruto had gotten his sister back and Sasuke would never know if he got all his family's eyeballs back. Even if Naruto didn't really understand why eyeballs were so special. Not that he'd ever say that! Not to Sasuke, anyway. Not when he seemed so upset over them.

"Eyes are– they're sacred to us," Sasuke hissed, and his hands were clenched tight at his side, his dark eyes wet and burning. "They're sacred and my family was murdered and their bodies were violated and now I'll never know if they've passed over peacefully to the Pure Lands!"

Sasuke was trembling with rage and his scent was thick with salt-sour-burning.

"Can I hug you?" Naruto blurted out, remembering how Iruka-sensei had asked first earlier and how he had liked that.

Sasuke looked sort of stunned and unsure but he gave a kind of jerky nod and Naruto leaned forwards on his branch to wrap his arms around his stiff classmate. Sasuke didn't hug him back, but he didn't push him away, just stayed frozen-stiff in his arms.

"C'mon," Naruto decided, when he pulled back from the 'hug', "we're ditchin' class."

"What?" Sasuke asked, his voice a bit scratchy-sounding.

"We're ditchin'," Naruto said firmly. "I gotta take you somewhere. 'Sides, do you really feel like bein' around a buncha people right now?"

From the face Sasuke pulled, he really didn't and when Naruto slid down the trunk of the tree and headed for the front of the Academy, Sasuke only hesitated a moment before following.

Iruka-sensei or Mizuki-sensei didn't spot them, as no angry shouts followed after, and Naruto led the way through Konoha's mid-day crowds, cutting through the back-alleys he knew to be safe, nodding at the occasional dealer or yak he saw when they entered deeper into yak territory. Sasuke looked uneasy but he didn't question Naruto, though there was a clear relief on his face when they left the back alleys, heading out of the village, towards the training grounds.

Naruto led Sasuke along the familiar path, following the winding river until they reached the torri. Sasuke copied the bow-and-clap routine as they made their way up the path, the other boy making a surprised sound as the river curved sharply, revealing the shrine.

Naruto's heart still leapt in his chest when he caught sight of it. The red building with its sloped roof brought back so many happy memories of spending time with Ko-ane and Ka-ane, cleaning it and fixing it back up. It was his favourite place in Konoha, the place that was theirs. It was special.

Sasuke's eyes were wide as they stepped inside the shrine, looking around at all the foxes and flowers on the walls. Naruto always felt like he could breathe a little easier in the shrine. He hoped it helped Sasuke too.

"When I was little," he told his classmate, "people trashed it real bad. 'Cause it's a shrine for Inari-sama and they were super mad 'cause of the Kyuubi Attack. So, me and Ko-ane and Ka-ane, we fixed it. It took ages, but we made it nice again. And now people use it again."

"Are you trying to tell me that even though my clan is practically destroyed now, we can still build up and become strong again?" Sasuke asked bitterly, his face going all closed off. Naruto blinked.

"No?" he said. "Do people tell you that a lot?"

"All the time," Sasuke practically growled.

"Huh," Naruto said. "That seems super shitty of them."

Sasuke snorted, then looked surprised at himself. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, it is 'super shitty' of them."

"I just wanted to show you here, 'cause it always makes me feel better when I feel sad or angry," Naruto explained. "That's all."

Sasuke didn't look quite so defensive now.

"...there's a shrine in the Uchiha District," he said quietly. "I haven't visited since..." his voice trailed off. "I didn't see the point," he said eventually. "The gods didn't protect my family. They didn't stop– him. Praying just seems pointless. We worship them and they do nothing."

"I dunno," Naruto said slowly, thinking of Ko-ane's haunted expression as she knelt on the floor of the shrine before Inari-sama, "even if... even if it's bad, I don't think I'd want gods messin' with my life. I think... I think the nicest thing they can do is let us choose. Even when we choose wrong. 'Cause that means we're free."

Sasuke was silent for a long time, his head bowed, and Naruto stayed quiet, knowing better then to try and speak.

"I'm still angry," Sasuke said finally. Naruto nodded sagely.

"I think your gods must be angry too," he said. "I know Uzushio's gods are. And it's been ages."

Sasuke finally looked up, a silent question in his eyes.

"Uzushio was a village where the Uzumaki Clan used ta live," Naruto explained, his throat feeling a bit thick as he thought of what could have been, all of the family that he'd never have. "Before... before Kiri 'n Iwa killed 'em all during the war. And the whole rest of the village. Uzushio's gods, they don't have names and stuff, they're like, the storms 'n the waves 'n everything. But Inari-sama, they said that they're still mad. Real, real mad."

Sasuke didn't look like he knew where to begin. "...your clan was massacred," he said finally. Naruto nodded sadly.

"My mama, she was in Konoha when it happened," he said. "She was safe, even when Kiri 'n Iwa hunted down the survivors. I dunno if there's anyone else. There's none in Konoha."

Sasuke nodded slowly. "That's... super shitty," he said and Naruto actually managed to laugh, reaching out to gently punch Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke managed a small smile in response.

"...you said that Inari-sama spoke to you," he said next, and Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, they come 'round 'n visit, sometimes. They look like a white fox," he explained, "but they talk. I didn't know they were Inari-sama, when I first met them." He pouted. "They told me their name was Nari."

"And that wasn't enough of a hint, dobe?" Sasuke asked dryly and Naruto gasped in outrage.

"Take that back, teme!" he demanded, lightly shoving the other boy, who smirked at him before his expression shifted again to something more serious.

"Our clan's shrine is dedicated to Amaterasu Omikami," he said and Naruto smiled a bit sheepishly.

"I dunno who that is," he admitted. "I only know Inari-sama, Shinigami-sama and Uzushio's gods." Sasuke looked a little bit like he wanted to call him an idiot, but instead he just explained.

"Amaterasu Omikami's the Sun Goddess," he said, "and the ruler of Takama no Hara, which is where the other gods and spirits live." He then looked a little embarrassed. "Our family has a legend, of how we're descended from Amaterasu Omikami," he mumbled and Naruto's eyes widened.

"Really?" he gasped. "That's so cool! Can you tell me?"

Sasuke's ears pinkened but he looked quietly pleased by Naruto's enthusiasm. "Mother used to tell the stories the best," he said. "As wife of the Clan Head, she was responsible for looking after the shrine and sometimes I'd go with her and she'd tell me about our history. I... I won't be able to tell it like she did."

"That's okay," Naruto said, nudging Sasuke with his shoulder, "you can just tell it like Sasuke does."

Sasuke's ears were still pink as he nodded and cleared his throat. "The legend goes the Sage of Six Paths had two sons, Indra and Ashura," he said. "The Sage crafted the younger son, Ashura, from the land; he carved him from the earth and breathed life into him, creating a connection between his son and all things green and growing.

"To create his elder son, Indra, the Sage reached for the fire of the stars. Amaterasu Omikami, the Goddess of the Sun, the brightest-burning star in the sky, saw his wish for a child and opened her heart to him, letting him craft Indra from the heart of the sun, creating a child birthed by Amaterasu's fire, who went on to found the Uchiha Clan. That is why all Uchiha have a connection to fire."

"That is super cool!" Naruto breathed, wide-eyed. Sasuke looked pleased. "Can we see the shrine?" Naruto begged and Sasuke... flinched. "What's wrong?" Naruto immediately demanded.

"I... I don't think the Clan will be happy to see another ninja around," Sasuke said quietly. Naruto frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked and Sasuke looked away.

"...the Uchiha civilians don't like shinobi," he said stiffly, his shoulders hunched inward, like he was trying to make himself smaller.

Naruto knew what that looked like; he knew how it felt to walk down the street, hunching into himself, trying to look smaller, to hide from the hate and anger and fear surrounding him.

He knew a shinobi had murdered most of the Uchiha Clan. Only the babies who were too young to go to the Academy and the civilian women had been left alive. But they must all be really scared of shinobi now.

And Sasuke, a shinobi-in-training, lived among them.

(Surrounded by their hate and anger and fear)

Sasuke wouldn't want Naruto to feel sorry for him, he knew. Naruto wouldn't have wanted anyone to feel sorry for him either. He still didn't. He'd just wanted things to be different.

(He still did)

"Hey," he said, "wanna come stay at my place tonight? It's super lonely right now, with Ko-ane gone."

Sasuke's head jerked up and he gave Naruto a suspicious look. "Really," Naruto said earnestly, "I hate bein' there all alone. It makes me think of when Ko-ane was gone. I've been stayin' with friends, but I can go back home if you stay with me."

If he made it sound like the other person was doing him a favour, Naruto knew, they were much more likely to agree. Ko-ane had taught him that one.

"Fine," Sasuke said. "But it better not be a mess."

Naruto gasped, mock-offended. "A mess? Me?"

As he chased Sasuke out of the shrine, pausing briefly to clap and bow on his way out, he caught sight of a flash of white fur out of the corner of his eye and he grinned to himself, making sure to send a silent 'thank you' Inari-sama's way, as well as a quick prayer to Amaterasu Omikami, promising he'd look after her child-descendant.

~